the dawn simply refuses to break

And the end of my time off draws nigh. I did very little of use this weekend. Both the Steelers and the Surly Caribou, my fantasy football team, continue to lose and all remains fairly unwell. I'm trying not to dwell on the many ways my life sucks at the moment and just keep my head down and trudge forward. What else can I do at this point?

Trip and I did enjoy some shrimply delights this evening and walked about the Danville mall. I resisted temptation in the form of black Chuck Taylor lowtops that I've been considering getting to up my Ramones cred. They are the apotheosis of cool, but a penny saved is blah blah blah.

I watched Pollack last night, which won some Academy award in 2000. It was pretty good (foot massage), I love learning about art, particularly modern art. But it's another one of those topics where me knowing about it doesn't really make any difference since most people have no clue. Which means if I do work it into conversation I sound like a know-it-all and, hence, a douche bag. Knowledge, she is a bitch goddess.

still I'm gonna miss you

At last, my respite is here. I have no real plans for the next two days. I know that's shocking to everyone. I do intend, however, to make some attempt to get out and interact with people. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm spending way too much time alone. I need some face time.

Not much else new, work, blah, drive, blah, sleep, blah. I watched Heavy on VH1 last night, which is the story of heavy metal. Or rather, it's the story of the video clips VH1 can get to use as a history. It was more comprehensive than the punk one they did a while back. (Just cause metal has had more time in the spotlight, I suppose and punk's naturally nonphotogenic past.)

invalidity of feeling

Now listening to: Mastodon

Man it's been a long work week... and I still have two more days, 12 hours each. My mood has been of the darkest variety of late. Too many things reminding me of too many things. I'm just struggling to make it through the days. Something good has to happen soon, if only through blind dumb luck something good has to happen.

I should note that Kevin has proven his manly virility again and spawned a second daughter, Zoe. At last word she, Courtney and all involved were doing well. So I suppose that's something good.

I've been watching lots of the fall season openers this week. I haven't been overly impressed, honestly. But that may just be a side effect of my depression. Earl and the Office were pretty good, but I only got to half watch them being distracted by work crap. (Damn work from keeping me from watching the television I wanna see.) I watched the Biggest Loser while running America's Next Top Model. Those two side by side was a serious juxtaposition of fantasy vs. reality. It boggled the mind. Another note on the model show, yes those women are smoking hot, but what the hell would you talk to them about? I mean how much hair care/skin care discussion can one bear?

I'm now off to contemplate my solitary existence for a while before the sweet release of sleep.

Hardly getting over it

Well it's been that kind of weekend. I've felt kinda crappy, both my fantasy football team and the Steelers lost and just a general malaise around me. Bleh. And tomorrow I get to go back to work... woo. I did manage to live up to my concept of not doing a damn thing today. Fun stuff.

You know I th0ught I had more to say, but I really don't. I could talk about the Steelers loss, but why?

it's getting faster now, it's getting out of hand

Now listening to: Joy Division

I've felt beat all damn day. It didn't help that I got like six hours of sleep, I suppose. I got home from work and made some dreadful fantasy football decisions, that ultimately cost me and, as such, I lost to Adam. It would have been down to the wire anyway, but my changing tight ends and Stallworth for Maroney cost me. Hats off to him for fielding a solid team and not being a dumbass and putting the wrong players in.

I need to shake it off, as my waiver movements this week paid off. I won't get into specifics, since those that know what I'm talking about can check it out for themselves and those that don't, really don't give a shit anyway. Ohh and congrats to Kev for a stunning come from behind victory. He may be a real contender.

What else? Ummm, instead of sitting around watching football all day I decided to go and do dinner with Trip. We ended up hitting Western Sizzlin. I don't regret that decision, but I both rue and lament it. After that we did Walmart, which was ok. I really hate Martinsville's Walmart, but am less put off by others. I think it's just the potential to run into people I know and don't want to talk to, or maybe it's just the aura of suck that permeates everything in Martinsville.

I haven't decided if I'm leaving the house tomorrow. I may just laze about, watching all the pregame hype for Steelers vs. Jaguars. I dunno. Sometimes it's good to do absolutely fuck all. Plus I should probably try and clean my room at some point, although I've intended to do that for several months now and found it difficult to get started.

They don't love you like I love you

My work schedule has changed. It's the first time ever that losing someone at work has lead to me having a better schedule. I now get Sundays and Mondays off, starting tomorrow and lose an overnight shift for one where I leave at 1 a.m. That is a relief. I probably wouldn't mind overnight shifts if I didn't have a two hour commute that pumps it up to 14 hours and that's brutal.

I'm currently reading this book called Hairstyles of the Damned and it's pretty good. It's about high school angst and all that. I probably wouldn't have paid it any mind if it hadn't of been published by Punk Planet Press. I'm a fan of their magazine and basic philosphy so I picked it up.

Spent most of last night on the phone with Kevin, Trip, Gabe and Corb. Who knew I was such a big phone person? Not me, usually I hate the fucker, but lately I can't stay off it. I suppose chattering on the phone at work is better than actually paying attention to what I'm doing.

Inbetween days

Now listening to: The Cure

So I did absolutely nothing today. Well, nothing of consequence. I sat in front of my computer and fiddled and watched some TV, which wasn't really that good aside from various sports talk programs that I watch regularly. I'd almost have been better off working... God, who am I?

I got kinda bored really, but didn't want to go out cause I'd just spend money I don't need to waste. So I sat here. I debated jumping back into Warcraft, but I know my leisure time will soon be in short supply again. Plus Netflix and Warcraft is a bit much. It may not be too bad once my work week goes back to four days, but that appears to be a far off proposition.

I tried to watch Woody Allen's Match Point but what was going on seemed so remote from my existence it lost my attention. That's not to say it was bad, I mean come on, it's Woody Allen. Plus Scarlett Johanssen is simply breathtaking. Even with all that going for it, I just couldn't relate. A guy with two beautiful women wanting him, living the life of the elite. It was too far for me to go. This has more to do with my current low grade depression than the movie.

I really love the Cure's Head on the Door album. There was a point where I would have said hands down that Disentegration was the best they had ever done. I still think it's a work of pure genius, but it's hard to put in. It's soo depressive that it just sends a black wave over me and I can't deal. Head on the Door has the same flavor, but without the mind-altering despair and has worked it's way into my heavy rotation of late.

To become immortal, then die

Now listening to: The Eels

The joys of doing very little, ahhh. I got to bed early (for me) and slept well. I finally rousted and checked up on the state of fantasy football. Not surprisingly not much had changed, that didn't stop me from talking about it all day on my phone. Adam and I tried to hash out a deal, but neither of us is willing to come across with what the other wants.

I think I may have annoyed Trip by talking on the phone while we were hanging out. I know I've been on the receiving end of that stunnage plenty and it sucks, but what can you do. The best solution? Get your own cell phone and become the stunner instead of the stunnee.

I watched Breathless tonight, Godard's first film, to continue my exploration of the French New Wave. It was good, although I did prefer Truffant's The 400 blows. I'd say Breathless was +1 chainmail overall, but it did have some amazing lines, like "To become immortal, then die." Which was a novelist's greatest ambition.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother watching these things, since they inevitably take me even farther away from the norm of the average person I meet. I mean, it's not like I run into a lot of new people who have any idea what I'm talking about half the time. Of course, maybe that's my subconcious goal, to be different. Who can say?

I'm extrastitious!

Now listening to: Fu Manchu

Let my weekend begin! Three days off and I intend to maximize my slackness, paying attention only to football, my pillow and possibly beer. We'll see if that works out for me. I actually need to pay a bunch of bills and do some other little crap. It's always something.

I'm currently reading George Plimpton's Paper Lion, which is about him going and playing with the Detroit Lions during their training camp in the 60s. It's the type of thing that probably would never happen today, but it helped boost the popularity of the NFL at that time. It's really good, honestly. Plimpton, who was a member of the educated elite possessing a snooty sounding New England accent, somehow found a way to fit in on the rough and tumble team and it makes for some good stories. Especially his conversation with Night Train Lane on how to play cornerback. That's pure gold.

The Surly Caribou's 101 point lead was enough to hold Danny's Dizzle Bolts off and rack up a win. Next up is Adam's Vendetta squad. Gonna be tougher, especially considering that my guy's matchups aren't as favorable this week overall. Caribou!!!

the other side

So I was trying to find some sports talk on my drive home this morning (because watchng Sportscenter three times last night just wasn't enough for me.) and all I could get was chatter about it being the five year anniversary of Sept. 11. I'm not really sure what to say about it. It's a turning point in history, certainly, akin to Pearl Harbor.

What kind of annoys me, though, is most Americans' inability to recognize that we may have done some things to provoke that type of action. Good ol' America was just sitting on it's hands, being righteous, when evil Islamics crashed planes into us. Never mind when we shoot missiles into villages or meddle in the affairs of a sovereign nation to get what we want, that's "For Democracy" and the good of man... well American men, who are white and wealthy. We are every bit as ruthless and brutal and if you don't believe me ask the people of Hiroshima.

Before Adam has a coronary let me assure you I'm not siding with the terrorists. Those guys are batshit crazy. But there are two sides to every story and the U.S. never perceives that. Shades of gray go unnoticed because the terrorists "Hate our Freedom."

On a much lighter note, my Surly Caribou are currently leading the scoring in the Lucky Breaks league, with only a few players left to play. Mike or Kevin could potentially outscore me (and maybe Danny if the planets align and the Redskins put on an offensive showing never before seen while the defense batters the Vikings back to Norway) but it looks like my team is running hot. Ohh and for the record I'm leading the scoring with none of my receivers or running backs scoring a touchdown.

And so it begins...

Now listening to: Thom Yorke - The Eraser

The NFL season is officially underway and the Steelers looked pretty amazing even without Big Ben. I trekked to Roanoke to meet Adam and watch the game. (Because my day isn't complete without two hours on the road.) We had a good time watching Blitzburgh smack Daunte Culpepper around and scoping the women. Man, hot girls everywhere... Football and hot women, my testosterone levels reached a new high I think.

The best part (aside from Joey Porter's interception and Heath Miller's TD reception) was watching this drunk chick drool all over Adam. She was tore. I went to the bathroom and apparently Adam told her to "Bug off!" which amuses me. Who says bug off? Anyway she fell out of her chair and then fell down again before she was escorted out. Good times.

Encased in stone

Now listening to: Celtic Frost

So my weekend is here at last and I'm in desperate need of a break. I think my schedule is gonna lighten up some now, but I'm not 100-percent sure of that. I did "train" one of the production guys tonight so he can cover for us. That basically meant showing him how to do the log and doing absolutely fuck all after that. The night went by sooooo slooooow. It was awful.

Hmmm, what else do I have to cover here? Not much. Outside of work I've not done a lot. The cool rainy weather also plays it's role by making me want to sleep nonstop. It's sooo hard to get out of bed now. At least football starts Thursday night, I'm so freaking ready to get this going it's unbelievable. Part of that eagerness is just to give the talking heads on tv something real to analyze and not have it be total conjecture. I mean they'll still be talking out of their asses a lot, but at least it will be about something that happened and not something that could possibly happen if all the events pan out.

Still no sign of my phantom commentor. Alas.

I shall be free

I'm tired, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Work blows, especially when there is so much of it. Also the fact that Ben Roethlisberger is sidelined once again has worked me into a state of annoyance. The man survives a potentially fatal motorcycle accident and is back to work on time and looking sharp. Then comes along a rogue appendix and sidelines him for at least the season opener. Can he catch a break? I'm betting it was an evil Dolphins fan who knew they didn't have a chance of winning against a fully operational Steelers squad.

Moving away from football talk (which is getting harder as the season grows closer and my obsession reaches its peak before culmination... that sounds a lot dirtier than it should), my drive home this morning was less than fun. Once again a reckless mail truck blew by me halfway home. This is a regular thing on Mondays now, but it was made worse by the fact that it was pouring down rain at the time. Nothing like an early morning drive through a torrential downpour with a two ton truck pushing you down the road.

What else do I have to cover? Hmmm... ohh yeah, I LOVE being a cell phone owner. It's just awesome. Really the phone part is the least of it, especially since I'm pathetic and not many people call me. But yeah, between the internet (which I did ultimately sign up for), the games and the clock it's perfect. I'm gonna have to research which cell phone games are worth getting, but so far Lumines is awesome. It's like Tetris for the 21st century.

In heaven everything is fine

The trouble is, there is no heaven.

Anyway it's been a long night. My "weekend" left me unsatisfactorily relaxed and so work tonight was torture. I showed up not wanting to be there and it was downhill from there. Twice one of the Fox broadcasts dropped and I had to call an engineer. As you can imagine, he was unthrilled to make the trek to the tower on his weekend... particularly the second time around at 2 a.m. But what the hell can I do?

Anyway it's over now and I can go get some rest. On the up side, at least it feels like fall now. I think it may warm up today (boo), but the chill was in the air yesterday and this morning. Fall is when things get back to how they should be, the kids in school, football on tv and my fall wardrobe concealing far more than my summer one... not that it really matters I suppose.

Last night I watched The 400 Blows, which is Francois Truffant's first movie and ushered in the French New Wave way back in 1959. It was good, most movies I've seen from that period are so plodding and slow as to be nearly unwatchable. Not this one. It keeps your attention, even without being a slave to narrative. I intend to explore more of this New Wave and see how it goes, so I can become ever more pretentious.

Chug, Chug, Chug!

In further efforts to get out of my head, I joined Trip for dinner and a movie. Yes, Trip is the best date I can get... and he won't even put out. But we went to see Beerfest, which was awesome. I'm a big Broken Lizard fan anyway, but Beerfest is truly magnificent. It's a sports movie about drinking beer! It combines two great genres in one sidesplitting package. I had to buy beer after the movie on principal alone. It was a tasty filet mignon and I intend to have another helping when it comes out on DVD.

Afterward we watched the season finale of Deadwood, which was just ok. It seemed like not much happened. This whole season has seemed to be building up to some big clash, but that didn't happen. Just a fizzle really. I'm hoping the method they choose to finish the story doesn't suck. Two movies may be ok, but I don't want to have to wait too long between them. I wish they'd just do a season 4 and stop fucking it up for the rest of us, cocksuckers.

I watched Crash last night and there is a movie where the characters are not one dimensional. Everyone in there is a whole mess of good, bad and everything in between. It's a good portrayal of racism in our culture and really makes you realize how fucked up we all are. Also Don Cheadle may be the best living American actor. It's between him and Paul Giamatti at this point. I'm sure someone is gonna say Pacino or Deniro and yes they deserve a mention, but Deniro has lost something with the who Analyze This thing... Pacino I can't really rip on... I suppose I should give these guys the same leeway I gave Brando, but I don't think I will, cause Brando was the king. I'm sure there are others that could be argued, but why bother?

Fecaltastic Four

I watched Fantastic Four last night. I knew it wasn't going to be good, but bleh. They did do a good job with the Thing. Michael Chiklis was good and seemed to nail the character. It was the rest of the movie that sucked so hard it created a black hole. I mean bad dialogue, hackneyed Hollywood action that had little to do with anything. Horrible.

On top of all that they made one of my favorite villians of all time suck. Dr. Doom was absotively abyssmal. No excuse for making him so lame and, for some reason, making him in on the same accident that turned the Four fantastic. It was all mudbutt to me. Just a prime example of what happens when you let people with no knowledge of the source material have final say over a movie.

Pushing it down

While my depression rages on, I'm going to make an effort to get back to my normal numb feeling by escapism. The topic? Fantasy football. Those bored with it should stop reading now.

Anyway it was a bit of a stunner today when I found out that not one, but both of the Jaguars on my roster are injured. Greg Jones, out for the season. Mike Peterson is out for a while and not likely to come back for the first game of the season. Stunner. These injuries have shaken my confidence somewhat after a solid draft. I'm still looking sharp, but it drives home the point that one bad play and a major player can be gone. I'm currently hoping those major players are Larry Johnson and LaDainian Tomlinson. Both those guys go down and I'm gonna crush the league, of course, they won't and my little Tiki will. It's the law of the west.

I'm hoping some of that is offset by Donte Stallworth being traded to the Eagles. He could be their top receiver there and rack up some major yardage. He had a solid season last year as a Saint and the Eagles tend to throw the ball more. We'll see.

hope is suffering

Yesterday was good and bad. I'll start with the good so I can dwell on the bad.

Gabe, Kelly and Cameron came in for a visit and that was cool. I finally got to meet my nephew and he was adorable, all smiles. It was fun watching him run around and play and possibly more fun watching my Mom laugh while she watched him play. I also got to talk to Gabe some, which is good, although I was in a bit of a haze having only slept for two hours. Still it was a pleasant visit.

On to where it all went wrong. It all started a week or so ago when I got an anonymous comment here from some secret admirer. I assumed it was this girl I work with (as she is really the only single woman I deal with regularly these days). This proved to be a false assumption and I'm now in the post-rejection despair. There are two facets to that: a) I've been judged not dateable... again and b) I now have to deal with at work who shot me down. I honestly don't hold it against her, she's nice and she was nice about it, but that doesn't stop me from being bitter and having to fight off my own self-loathing whenever I talk to her.

There is also the fact that I don't know who left the comment, no idea really. With my current level of negativity I'm thinking maybe it was some cruel prank made to shatter my already beleaguered self-confidence. If that's not the case, I hope whoever wrote it would shoot me an email. I could really use the ego boost.

Having laid myself bare with this post I shall now skulk off to bed and try to avoid thinking about how I'm going to never find love.

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Went to Trip's tonight and we watched V for Vendetta, which was pretty good. I'd rate it a foot massage all told, although I really did like the imagery/artwork and the inherent message. It just got kinda slow at times and that kept it from being higher.

I remember hearing about it having some anti-American sentiment or something. I think maybe Adam mentioned that it was an attack on the Bush administration or Republicans in general, I may misremember, but he seems the most likely culprit. I think you could only say it was an attack on Republicans if you see them as fascists trying to grab power through fearmongering and rousing the public with supposed foes of the community (a la the gay community, etc.). I do happen to see them that way and don't think the movie was about them in particular. I think it was more about the perils of letting fear make your decisions for you and that giving away your freedom for supposed safety is a horrible exchange.

The title line is also significant for me because my mother's birthday does fall on Guy Fawkes day, with mine immediately following. (My maternal grandma's is on the fourth of November, so we make a nice package deal.)

I talk about fantasy football a lot

So now the 2006 Techmo Lucky Breaks league draft is in the books. I feel pretty good about my squad overall. There were a couple of times someone snagged the guy I wanted right before my pick, but it wasn't too bad. A couple of rookies in the house made it better, of course I wish I had of drafted beside those guys instead of right between Nick and Cal. Oddly, I didn't take a single Steeler. I was gonna get Hines Ward, but Nick nabbed him. I will now do some quick analysis.

My preseason ratings, post draft, are:

1. Dallas Danglers
2. Team Vipperman
3. Surly Caribou
4. The Vendetta
5. Warchant
6. Heaven's Own
7. Hudson Street Hellraisers
8. St. Nick Kringles
9. The Fighting Fins
10. Dizzles Bolts

Draft winners: I'd say the guy who ended up with the top squad of the night was Mike. His team is pretty solid top to bottom. It sucks, cause I don't think I could live with his smarminess if he won. Nick fielded another solid team and looks to be dangerous again (although I doubt he dominates like he did for most of last season). Also Kevin showed some solid knowledge in his rookie outing.

Draft losers: I hate to say it, but my boy Danny showed his inexperience. His running backs are patchwork at best. The Fighting Fins couldn't make it and an automated draft is suspect even if you shift the ratings around. Also the St. Nick Kringles, which is Nick's stepdad's team, looks a little shaky at RB.

I tried to be unbiased for these ratings, but I certainly have my own motivations. I should note that teams 3, 4 and 5 could easily be rearranged and still be reasonable. I just put myself on top because it's my fucking rating and I get to do what I want.

Let the games begin!

Can I play with madness?

So another work week in the books. I'm taking tomorrow off for my draft. It's gonna be fun. I met up with Adam again at IHOP and we had some last minute discussions about it. Well football and other things, we both just like hanging out. It's gonna suck when I move to Roanoke and he moves away almost immediately. Ahh well...

In my effort to find metal I like I have went with a nostalgia pick and started listening to Iron Maiden. They aren't the black, death, evil metal I was looking for, but damn are they good. Their rhythm section just drops a thunderous groove I can't deny. Plus their lyrics are actually fairly well informed and interesting. I mean how can you not love a song about World War II pilots or dueling with swords in the 19th century. It plays on my love of history.

I started reading this book Writing Down the Bones, that's about how to make yourself into a better writer. It started by telling me some things I already knew, but don't put into use enough. Plus it has some really cool advice. It's written by this woman who clearly has some hippie background. She quotes Zen masters and the like. It's about living in the moment, opening yourself up to writing what you know and not letting an internal editor rule your life. All advice I could use.

Still I'm leary of all things hippie... but D. Boone and Mike Watt said some similar things in the Minutemen documentary I watched recently, so I'm taking it as bohemian punk advice.

Every step an adventure

Man I dropped a shit ton of cash today (that's more than a regular ton, but less than a metric shit ton). The thing is I didn't get anything I didn't pretty much have to have. Well, ok I bought two pairs of shoes when I coulda only gotten one, but it was buy one, get one half off and so I bought some Nikes (which looked better in the store, but screw it they are fine) and some Vans.

This was after I had dropped a cool $30 on an oil change. Yeah, I'm officially changing the place I take my Jeep to after that. I tried to support the small local business, but damn. Thirty is a lot to spend on a friggin oil change. I then got a haircut and snagged my sneaks.

I then proceeded to Trip's pad and we got Japanese, mmm tasty. We watched Deadwood (always a pleasure) and goofed off. I predict that his Tifaux (that's like Tivo, but different) will explode this weekend taking out his DVD player with it. It's not that I wish him ill, it's just that all his electronics seem to be dying of late. It started with his computer a few months ago and then moved into his big screen tv (which he hasn't had for over a month now). Then this week his XBox 360 dies and he's gotta get it repaired. I think his house has been infested by some sort of anti-electronics demon. We may have to have do something about that. I need a young priest and an old priest.

The draft order for fantasy football came out yesterday and I pick fourth. Not a bad spot, but not one I really figured I'd have. I was hoping to either pick second or third or somewhere around seven or eight. I'm kinda torn, I know who the safe pick is, but I'm considering reaching down for potential... hard to say. I may just free wheel the draft and go with my gut. Still need to do some research beforehand and have the up to the second injury report. Ya know, I may care about this waaaaay too much. Naaahhh.

I prefer Nobody

So I just watched Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man. I watched it way back when it came out in 1996 and remember enjoying it, but man I don't remember it being that good. Pretty fucking amazing. Johnny Depp is awesome, as usual. Jarmusch uses great scenery and some really great concepts, I mean great storytelling without having to spoon feed every detail to the audience.

Ohhh and the thing that pushed it into the truly wondrous was Neil Young's soundtrack. Oh man, just Neil and a guitar, plodding, hinting, casting dense rays of emotion. It created an atmosphere that pulled you in and made you feel what was going on. I'm saying this is pure filet mignon, although I admit it's not for everyone. Hell whenever I say it's Jim Jarmusch's you know it's not an easy movie.

In other news, it's my weekend! I have a couple of days of not work to enjoy, although I have a bunch of crap I need to do. Haircut, oil change, find shoes, study fantasy football drafts, etc. I pick fourth in the draft, so I gotta plan a strategy for that spot. It all goes down on Tuesday.

Ohh, and I hooked up with Adam tonight for some late evening IHOP action. Kinda regreted the food tho, it coulda been better. Was cool to hang out, basically we talked football. We both are like freakin school kids.

Believe what I tell you to believe

So I've just completed my 48th hour of work in four days. Fun stuff that. As you might imagine I'm a little tired, not having had a moment to myself. But hey, at least I don't have to work a full 12 hours tonight. I may get away with as little as six, although I may stretch that out a bit to make more overtime. We'll see.

So yeah, I'm feeling a bit depressed of late, I can't decide if it's because I'm genuinely bothered by something or if this is just residual overwork depression. Doesn't really matter, I suppose, I'm down either way.

You know it's odd, when I end up working these absurd hours at work, I end up doing tons of crap I probably could get away with not doing, because I'm doing all this overtime. Still the late night hours get long and I'm just looking for something to keep me occupied. Tonight I did a ton of crap while watching Headbanger's Ball on MTV2. I've been trying to broaden my metal horizons, but am having trouble finding bands I actually enjoy. So I continue to dig through mountains of aural assault until I find that soothing bark,thunderous bass and wailing guitar I am looking for.

Ohhh, in case you live in a cave, football season is about to blossom before our very eyes. There were preseason games on all weekend and a Monday Night offering last night, which I flipped on a bit. It's awesome to see football on, but it's hard to care about the preseason. I swear every time I flipped onto a game this weekend it was to see a punt. Not too inspiring.

Still we are now T-Minus 7 days and counting until my fantasy football draft. Should find out the draft order tonight so I can start planning my strategy. Here's some draft tips for everyone in my league: You should definitely go kicker, defense, kicker in the first three rounds.

Ignore me!

Ahhh the sweet release of a day off. I slept in and then proceeded to be on the phone for most of the evening. Had to make sure Corb was still down with dinner, talk to Trip, tried to call Danny and even managed to contact my brother. So heavy on the old calling. Sadly Gabe is unable to partake of our fantasy football offering, but I at least made the effort.

I did manage to get Corb to come to dinner, although it was a truncated interaction. We had dinner at Clarence's. (I let it happen, I knew it was going to be bad, but I still let it happen.) The Corb trundled off, back into his world of lippy pubescents and clueless teachers to bully.

Trip and I then trekked to Danville so he could pick up his copy of Dead Rising (a wonderfully whimsical game about killing zombies in a mall, gotta love an homage to George Romero). We got that, I talked myself away from the 3 DVDs for $10 rack and we stopped for some ice cream. We then headed back, played a tad of Dead Rising and watched Deadwood.

You know, this season of Deadwood has been less action packed than in the past. Aside from Dan's streetfight it's been pretty much a quasi political affair. Well, aside from the odd impromptu punch to someone's face. What makes it still riveting, even in light of the relative lack of action, is the growth of the characters and their interaction with one another. There is some serious depth there.

Twelve+two+eight=my life

So I've been working my ass off this past week. Tomorrow will be my seventh consecutive work day, but fortunately I get a couple of days off after that. Got a nice dinner with Corb and Trip planned, so that's something to I can look forward to this week. Of course, after that break I go right back into a 36 hour weekend. Hell tonight I feel like I got in super early, even tho it was like 1:30 a.m., but it's much better than 7 a.m.

Not a lot besides work going on. I started reading Tolstoi's War and Peace, basically so I can lord it over people that I am well read, but it is slow going. I'm like 70 pages in and having a hard time getting my footing in the novel, if you will.

I'm about to go overbudget for the week, which annoys me, but there are circumstances beyond my control. The first being my computer repair and the second being expanded gas use because of working an extra three days. I suppose this will even out once I get my fatty check on Friday, but I'd rather not be dipping into my bill money. I'm making every effort at fiscal responsibility and hate even the notion of backsliding at this juncture.

watching tv so hard it hurts

There was a point this week, where I was thinking that I wasn't going to get any overtime on my next check. That worry has more than been put to rest. I will end up with only one day off this week and a metric asston of overtime. They fired a dude (who I thought should have been fired a month ago, but noone asks me) and I'm picking up the slack... well at least part of the slack.

I worked my Wednesday and Thursday and will be working 12 hour shifts for the next three days. Then I get to work around 9 hour shifts on Monday and Tuesday. Woohoo. I'll be making the fat cash if I can stay awake on my drive home. I'm now trying to stay up until 6a.m. so I can get a little prepared for the long nights ahead.

Ohh also I got my computer back and it's running. I'm trying to restore it to it's former glory, but I gotta resign in everywhere and try and remember which websites I frequent. Also my mp3 list went from 15 gigs or so to zero. So I gotta figure out what to do about that. And all my email addresses are gone. Some are easy, cause I got em on my gmail account, but some I'm just gonna have to wait to mail me so I can get it. It's gonna suck. Ohh and all the times where I actually wrote something creative... yeah that was wasted cause it's all gone. I gotta learn to back that shit up somewhere.

I need more cowbell

Well I took my computer into the most crumby looking computer shop ever today, but the guy seemed to know what he was doing. Sadly, what he seemed to know was that my hard drive was fucked up, with potential for my motherboard to be fried. So best case scenario I lose everything I had on the laptop, but it will still work. Worst case, it's shot and I need a new computer altogether.

These revelations cast a pall over my shoe shopping this evening, not that I found anything that was comfortable, attractive and in my price range. Maybe I'm a cheap bastard but I don't wanna pay $40 for a pair of Chuck Taylor's and I don't wanna pay $100 for a pair of sweat shop-made cross trainers. After I find out if I need a new computer I may be postponing my new shoe quest for a bit.

I am now working on my old Imac, which is sooooo fucking slow. There was a time when I loved this computer and it still holds a certain nostalgia factor, but man is it outdated now.

Ohhh the goat!!!

It's been a busy weekend. Let me begin by complaining that my laptop hard drive seems to have died. I'm writing this from my old Imac and it's very slow. Still I wouldn't want to withhold my faithful reader(s?) from my erstwhile ramblings. I reactivated my Netflix account, so I go movies flowing in now to hold my attention. I also have told my WoW account to stop renewing for the time being, so once my last month is up, I'm gonna let it slide for a while. I'll probably go back when the expansion comes out, but til then I'm kinda bored.

Anyway, Let me diagram my Saturday for you. I rose around 1 p.m. and moved to the couch to watch Jim Jarmusch's Broken Flowers. It was pretty good, if you like Jarmusch. Bill Murray is really exceptional in these minimalist films because he can convey so much with just a turn of his head or by moving his eyes. He makes you understand what is taking place in his character's mind. ...back to my day... I finished that, drove to work and was there for almost 10 hours.

While there I read Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle in its entireity. It was good, but he's got a real dark sense of humor, which I appreciate. Still any book that kills off the entire human race (and probably most of the animal and plant kingdoms as well) is a tad darker than what I deal with in the regular. Hell, he puts Palahniuk to shame, maybe close to rivaling Lovecraft from a perspective of basic carnage. Well the creator of the Elder Gods is hard to rival, there was probably less suffering a la Vonnegut and no blind idiot god. But once again I have derailed.

After finishing Cat's Cradle I went to The Know It All, which is about a guy reading the Encyclopedia Britannica. It's ok, a little dry in places, but not bad. I'm still whittling it down. After I finally was able to leave work and drive home I goofed off on the internet until around 6 a.m. How's that for a full day?

Ohh I also watched Waiting, with Ryan Reynolds and it was entertaining, lotsa dick jokes which I enjoy. Luis Guzman is the man. Why isn't he in more movies? OK I'm beat and going to read for a minute before I sleep. I had other crap to talk about, but I'm drifting too much to get to it, plus this thing is too long as it is.

Societal pressure

Trip and I made our way to Greensboro yesterday and stomped through a high percentage of the shoe stores down there. He ended up buying a pair of Chuck Taylors that were on sale and I found nothing to suit my needs. Shoes are a pain in the ass to find. Either they are absurdly pricey (I'm not paying more than $60 for a pair of sneakers, call me old-fashioned), horribly ugly, they don't have my size or they don't fit right when I try them on. It's a pain in the ass.

Also I suppose my self-esteem was getting too high and I had to bring it down by shopping for clothes. Nothing more humbling that being a fat guy looking for something to wear. Go to a store like Eddie Bauer and try to find something that fits. Yeah, good luck, might get a pair of socks.

So after feeling like a human freak show you head out to the Big and Tall store to shop with those other less than normal folks. Pop in there and they have your size, but there are still issues. One: half the crap has either no idea how to tone down the fact you're a fat guy or directly emphasises that you are a fat guy. Two: the stuff there that is moderately stylish and of decent quality is priced so high as to be absurd. The only things I saw that were priced even remotely reasonably were on the 50% off bargin rack.

I did manage to spend some money, tho. I bought a coupla new shirts which I like. I need some new t-shirts too, but I may resort to the internets for those.

You need different feathers if you're going to fly

Yay my weekend is here! Woo three whole days to do nothing. Actually I'm considering trying to break my usual mold, but I'm not gonna get too overzealous. I need to not spend a ton. I have some extra cash from all the overtime I've worked, but it'd probably be best not to fritter it all away if I can help it. Still I do need new shoes... and a cell phone... and an Ipod. Fine the Ipod is probably not the top of the list realistically, but I sure would like one.

I'm probably gonna end up doing some shoe shopping at some point, cause my sneaks look like ass. I also may try to do some reading and some writing. Heck I may try to do some of that stuff outside, as I need to try to even out my trucker tan a little bit.

I'm also considering joining a gym, but I'm not sure that would be money well spent at this time. I mean I definitely need to be in the gym, but I'm not sure if I have the time, or rather if I will use the time I have to go to a gym. It's quite a difficult question.

Also have you noticed that NFL training camps are firing up? We are on the cusp of the season and ESPN is starting to give me the programming I want. Huzzah! We want a repeat! Woooo, we need a ring on the other hand now in Pittsburgh.

Unhappy, just as you were

Well I made it home. It was a grueling drive home, but I'm here. I'm just beat for some reason. My eyes felt all dried out and didn't want to open when I blinked. Work seemed to be going at half speed. I did use the time wisely tho, finishing Reading Lolita in Tehran and getting through a lot of Stranger Than Fiction as well.

Reading Lolita was really good. I've talked with friends in the past about having no idea how Islamic women survive. This book gave me an idea of what goes through some of their minds. I still can't claim to understand them completely, but then I really don't get the whole faith thing. That separates me from a far greater group than just Muslims. Still this book was inspirational and made me want to study more literature. I'd say it's filet mignon.

Driving home I was listening to Jane's Addiction's Ritual de lo Habitual album and it's still awesome. It's one of my all time favs. I have so many memories wrapped up in that album. My fav. song is Then She Did, which seems to me to be Perry Farrell remembering his mother and a lover that died. He paints a vivid picture in my head with his voice: nostalgic, loving and a little sad that they are gone. It is captivating.

only in a world this shitty

I'm kind of bored, listening to mediocre industrial music and debating between actually writing something and just futzing around on the internet for a while. Or maybe I'll do some reading. I dunno, I think I may try to write, that's why I'm here actually. So I can get past all the bullshit that normally crosses my mind when I sit down to write. So if I write something fantastic tonight this blog will be the equivalent of a singer hawking up a loogie before going onstage to perform. Woo, now that's painting pictures with writing there.

Anyway it was a slow day for me: lounged, read some fantasy football sites, played a litte Warcraft. I do have to mention that my love affair with WoW may be fading as I am approaching boredom whenever I log on. Too much of a good thing I suppose.

Trip and I grabbed dinner and then goofed off at his place for a bit. We played the demo for the new college football game and he beat me twice!?! His "chuck the ball deep" strategy offset his not knowing what an option play meant. I also played through the tutorial for The Battle for Middle Earth II on his XBox 360 and it wasn't bad. I don't know that I would really get into it, but as far as console RTS games go, it's decent.

Hmm the industrial music I'm listening to now, Funker Vogt, is much better. I've been finding some good music lately. Destroyer may be my favorite of those, tho. Anyway I'm off to do something, still not sure what.

Eighty degrees and I'm shivering?

Last night when I said I was cold, yeah, that turned out to mean I had a raging fever. I went into my (unairconditioned) room and got under my comforter and continued to shiver for most of the night. It was unpleasant. I have no idea what caused it and none of the other usual symptoms of a cold or whatnot showed up i.e. sore throat, upset stomach, etc. And today I have a minor ache in my back, but seem to have recovered.

Tell your gods to ready for blood

I'm feeling tired, but I can't go to sleep because I have to maintain my late night schedule. Don't want to be nodding off when I drive home at night, ya know. I thought I caught up on some sleep today, but apparently it wasn't enough.

I arose early (for me) yesterday because Mike and Shannon were in town and so I hooked up with them and we met Adam and Rachel in Roanoke for lunch, which was cool. I enjoyed myself, although I couldn't help but notice as we roamed the city streets that it was couple, couple and fat guy fifth wheel. I gotta do something about that, but I'm not really sure what.

Anyway on to other less depressing topics. Trip and I partook of some tasty seafood tonight and watched Deadwood. I know I talk about how great it is almost every week, but it really is that good. We also watched the Venture Bros., which I don't fear mentioning in the same breath as Deadwood. That's how good I think that show is, despite its animated nature.

I'm now reading Palahniuk's Stranger than Fiction and it's interesting. He knows where to go to find odd moments and knows how to make them work. His forward made me want to start writing more. By more I mean at all.

Oddly, I'm feeling cold. The AC isn't that low and I find it most peculiar.

The "liberal media" is a farce created by rightwing nutjobs

Well I continue to work loads and, as such, my blogging as suffered. I also spent my days off this week hanging out with Adam up in Roanoke. We had a good time talking fantasy football and arguing politics. I could ramble on about our disputes, but I shan't. Frankly I'm tired and the differences don't mean a lot, we're good friends despite is fascistic tendencies. (Heh.)

We saw the Pirates of the Carribean sequel, which was a fun movie. The action went a little over the top a coupla times, but it was all good fun. I was kinda bummed by the cliffhanger ending, guaranteeing a trilogy at the least, but I suppose I can stand to see a third one of those.

Japanese food calls out to me

Hmm what to tell and what to edit out... I'll start with Trip and my excursion to Roanoke on Thursday. It was ok, although Trip had been up on Tuesday with Kev and so shopping was a little strained as he was bored easily. I looked for a pay as you go cell phone option and was dissappointed with what I found. We ended the trip by having some dinner with Kevin, Courtney and Eve at a nice Japanese restaurant. I got too much tempura and won't make that mistake again, but it was nice. Eve was a little overactive, but she's two... that's how two-year-olds are, or so I'm told.

Trip and I grabbed some ice cream and then drove home and I crashed immediately, catching up on lots of lost sleep. Something I sorely needed to do. Since then I've worked mostly, with little else to report, other than my Jeep's rise from the dead and return to my driveway.

Well, actually today I did buy a new book, The Prose Edda as translated by Snorri Sturlson. It's Norse mythology, which I love. I bought it while killing time before work. I then picked up some Yakisoba and headed to work, where I read most of Jonathan Lethem's Fortress of Solitude. It's got amazing depth. It's about a white kid's youth in Brooklyn, growing up in a black neighborhood. I can relate to some of it, having been a white kid in a predominantly black area. Of course, Martinsville isn't Brooklyn by any stretch of the imagination, but there are still similarities.

Anyway my eyes grow heavy with the passing minutes and it's time for me to commune with my pillow.

The rockets red glare, the bombs bursting under the hood

Well it was a wonderful holiday for me. I had to work, so I roused myself and set forth at the appropriate time. I did have to make a pitstop when my water pump fell off my engine and a pulley flew out from under my Jeep in the Bassett Forks area. Yeah... that's a good time.

I had to call my folks, have them pick me up and then drive mom's car to work... late, of course. I then worked 11 hours and drove home to collapse. How's that for festive? I'm hoping the good part comes when I don't have to pay for the repairs since the engine was still under warrenty and those bastards are the ones who reattached the aforementioned water pump improperly.

I hope everyone else's Independence Day experience was less stressful than mine.

Haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head

I, my friends, am tired. I have been working a ton and get to pull an overnight tonight. So Happy Fourth of July to me. I suppose it coulda been worse, I was going to have to do overnights all week, but that changed, thankfully.

The upside is, besides making overtime money, that I've been able to get a lot of reading done at work. I read Michael Chabon's Wonder Boys and it was really good. I'd seen the movie, but as usual the book was better. Chabon's got some nice technique. I'm sure people will be writing thesis papers about the symbolism of the tuba and Hannah Green's boots for years to come. I'd say this was a foot massage, with potential to move up after I've had time to reflect.

I also read two Augusten Burrough's books, Magical Thinking and Possible Side Effects. His stuff is incredibly funny. He has a great flair for picking the weird things in his life and making you laugh about them. I think I prefered Magical Thinking overall, but both were worth checking out.

I also got the new Mission of Burma album, The Obliterati, which is quite enjoyable for the knowledgable punk fan. The title of this post is stolen from the chorus of one of thier new songs.

Never was there a more feared grazing animal

I would like to unveil the name and logo of next season's Lucky Breaks League fantasy football champion, The Surly Caribou!

St. Elsewhere

Man I'm kinda beat. All this rain makes me wanna just sleep and, honestly, I haven't been doing a whole lot of it. I get a couple of days off now tho, at least. Of course, when I head back in on Friday it's gonna be for an 11 day stretch, with three of those being overnights. I'm probably gonna need to get a hotel room for those days... although, of course, those are right during the holiday. I imagine I'm gonna be completely beat.

Last night was a pain. All the flooding meant Emergency annoucements went out constantly and I just didn't wanna be there. I had this internal scream going all night long. That's where I'm acting normal, talking to people normally, etc., but inside all I can think is this scream that I want to leave. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Anyway, I'm hoping to watch some Deadwood tonight and the UFC thingie on Spike tomorrow. There may also be sushi in my future.

Ohhh, a Jeep update: a starter for a '95 Jeep Wrangler is roughly the size of my fist, but it costs an arm and leg. Thank you.

Suffering outweighs joy

Yesterday I arose fairly early (for me), showered, fixed my lunch and generally steeled myself for the workday. I managed to make it to the Jeep with all the things I need to carry with me (cd player, my aforementioned lunch, book, etc.) and head to work in a timely fashion. Sadly it was not to be, as my starter went from sounding bad the night before to completely dead.

So I tried to scramble to find a ride to work, calling my mom who was out shopping with Grandma. Of course, it took forever to get her and she was in Danville. By the time she got home and I drove to work in Roanoke I was three hours late, so that's fun. Ohh did I mention on the drive up there was a torrential downpour for like 3/4s of the ride? Oh yeah, it was fun.

Nacho Muerte

Saw Nacho Libre last night... it was bad, very bad. I was shocked with the badness. It tried to be quirky, but never got you involved. It tried to be funny, but never landed more than a minor chuckle. I'm sorry a guy with a Mexican accent is not a basis for an full length comedy. Even the wrestling matches were dull. I'm saying mudbutt.

After watching that turd, Trip and I at least could get the taste of it out of our mouths with the deliciousness of Deadwood. Al Swearengen, you are a tasty treat. I can hardly wait for next week's episode where he has to get even with Hearst.

I'm actually looking forward to working this weekend because there are such good things on tv. Saturday the Ultimate Fighter 3 finale is on Spike. Also a new episode of the Venture Bros. drops on the Cartoon Network. It may take the sting out of work.

Win or lose, what's the difference?

Today had it all: a trip to the bookstore where I bought no books, a trip to the grocery store where I bought too much crap, work, reading and I was pulled by a cop just before making it home. Fun huh.

The cop thing was really no big deal, I have a headlight out. Which sucks since I replaced both lights like 3 months ago...maybe a little longer. It was odd since the drive home tonight seemed really uneventful up to that moment. He did the cop thing where he rode right up on my bumper for a while to see if I would speed, but only cops do that so I always slow down. But now I get to replace a headlight... it's always something.

I read Nick Hornby's The Polysyllabic Spree, which was alright (+1 chainmail all told). It's a collection of columns he wrote about his book buying and his book reading over the course of a year essentially. It had some cool moments, but his reading habits and mine are completely different i.e. he reads a lot less tripe. Well, he reads a different kind of tripe. I tend toward escapist fiction and he seems to mix in a lot of classics and literary biographies. Both really kind of marginalize who you can talk to about em, but it seems a lot cooler when you don't have a big dragon on the cover of your book.

Sushi and science

It's been a good weekend for me. Watched Deadwood again Tuesday, cause you can't ever see it too much. Wednesday I spent the entire day playing WoW and watching the Venture Brothers. Man you gotta see that show, it's incredibly awesome. The new season comes on the 25th and I can't wait. It's hard to describe why it's good. It's well written, the voice acting is great and it just sideswipes you with these great lines. Ok, it's not so hard to describe why it's so good.

Today Trip and I snagged some sweet, sweet sushi. I even managed to regulate my order so I didn't feel bloated when we left. Of course, we stopped for ice cream twice after that (at my behest). I wanted that mini-banana split I'd seen advertised by Sonic. Yeah... it's really mini.

After we got back to Trip's pad, he wanted to take part in some serious scientific research. Yup, we put Mentos in Diet Coke (actually, diet Big K cause it's much cheaper) and tried to get it to liftoff. We had one decent move and lots of aborted attempts. I also pulled something in my shoudler trying to slam a two liter against the ground... There can be no doubt that we're retarded.

I'm listening to this band Destroyer that has kind of a mellow plugged in Dylan sound. It's quite good.

Everyone is trying to bum me out

So yeah, I get to work this afternoon and see the bad news. Ben Roethlisberger, the QB that lead the Steelers to the Super Bowl win last season, has had a motorcycle crash and is in serious condition. Man does that suck. I'm glad the news is that he isn't hurt critically and I they mentioned on ESPN that it's probably only gonna take him out for 7 weeks or so, but man it sucks. That could be the season gone. I wasn't going to predict a repeat or anything crazy, but with Roethlisberger at the helm we can win any game. Without him, that's not really the case. So for both his sake and for the sake of the Steelers I'm hoping he has a speedy recovery.

Anyway, in non-football life things are going... well they are going. That's about it. My work weekend went ok, aside from a motherfucker of a storm on Sunday. I sweated out the last 15-20 minutes or so keeping the power up by strength of will alone. Then I got to drive home in the pouring rain, which was fun. Sheets cascading against the Jeep and making it hard to see. Just before I hit Rocky Mount I pulled off the road as it got especially intense and I couldn't see more than a coupla feet in front of me driving 35mph. It took me a full hour and a half to get home.

On the up side, I did get to see Deadwood, cause it was a free HBO weekend for Cox Cable. Man I love that show and will probably watch it again tomorrow with Trip. Later on I watched Revenge of the Sith or whatever the final Star Wars movie is called. Man is it not good. I hadn't seen it since the theater, where the pretty effects take your mind off how horrible the dialog is, the wooden acting and the plot holes. Yesh.

Ohhh and Saturday, my slack work day, I read most of Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell and it is excellent. She has such an affinity for American history that I can't help but get pulled in by it. I still have a few more pages to finish it, but it's a definite foot massage rating. I need to re-read Take the Cannoli, one of her earlier works.

Also my love affair of the Cure's body of work has been rekindled and I've been listening to loads of their early works incessantly. That means more than just Disintegration on repeat when I get depressed.

Early=surly

So I survived my early morning work meeting. It was tough, but I managed. There were a few harrowing moments on the drive home where I felt consciousness being sapped from me, but I stuck it out. All in all it could have been a 15 minute meeting, but lasted 90 minutes. That's how meetings go though.

There has been a lot of contentious football talk in my comments the last coupla days. You can tell the urge to see some gridiron action is boiling over. I'll almost be sad when the preseason kicks into full gear tho, as it means the Steelers won't be champions anymore, just a 0-0 team looking to get back into the playoffs. Of course, I suppose it's better to be the champs than the chumps (a la every other team).

No we don't want to get high Towely

I received some horrific news Friday evening that has affected me so deeply that I have been physically unable to blog. I found out that I have to come in to work on one of my days off... not only that, nay, even worse. I have to get up early and be in Roanoke by 9 a.m. The horror... the horror.

Yeah, I know it's not really a huge deal, but that sort of thing really just gives me something to dread for days on end. It's part of my personality to see the negative a lot more than any positives. Not a lot else going on really. Just working as per usual and trying not to spend much money. Of course, gas prices are once again on the rise. Love that...

One bright thing that did happen this weekend was that I came home after work and mom had gotten a Pittsburgher friend of her's to get me a Terrible Towel. Not any Terrible Towel either, an official Myron Cope Super Bowl XL commemorative towel. How sweet is that? It definitely brightened my night when I saw that. I'm considering framing it, but I want to wave it at Nick, Adam and Mike once first.

It's a life sentence

Sooo today was a good day. I slept in (and slept well, which is sadly becoming less and less normal). I goofed off for a bit, went to meet Trip, got some tasty crab and then hit Walmart. Woo exciting stuff. We then came home and played Tony Hawk American Wasteland until about 1 a.m., which is seriously late for Trip. Actually, I shouldn't say we played Tony Hawk, I should say I pwned Trip back and forth and around again. He did win one and is very proud of that accomplishment, so I'll note it here.

I wanna see the new Xmen movie, but I may wait for a bit and catch a matinee next week or so. I hate fighting crowds and prefer noone in the theatre besides me. I've heard it's good, from Trip actually. He sold me out and saw it over the weekend. Bastard.

Ohhh Trip and I did watch the Gracie vs. Hughes battle tonight, along with the rest of the bouts from this weekend. Trip's dumbass skips around all the commentary so I never get a feel for who's who unless I already know with the undercard fights. Anyway Hughes pretty much manhandled Gracie as I predicted. It was sad, cause Gracie is a great UFC champion, but it's not the same sport it was a decade ago.

Then she didn't

Well tonight's nigh 10 hours of work were well spent. You see, I went to Roanoke early today to have some time to relax and eat before work. I ended up at Barnes and Noble and, well, I gave in to my consumer instincts and bought the new Douglas Coupland book, Jpod. I had read that it was the spiritual successor to Microserfs (which is one of my all time favs.) and so I had to have it. Of course, it's still in hardcover (having only come out last week) and so it was expensive.

So at work tonight I managed to read the whole thing. That's right, I read the whole damn book on the clock. It's was a Saturday so I really wasn't goofing off more than I should have, I didn't have much to do and I just flew through the thing. Still it's annoying to pay $20 for a book and then read it all in one day.

Actually I had a couple of hours to spare and ended up reading part of another book I had with me, The First World War by John Keegan. It's going substantially slower, but I did enjoy the sequence of events surrounding Archduke Franz Ferdinand's assassination. I knew that was ostensibly what caused the war, I just had no idea why.

Back to Jpod, it was a good read. I dug the characters, but it seemed a little indulgent. Coupland has inserted himself in as a character, which is odd. (Although I can appreciate it from a Charlie Kaufman type of stance.) Also his stories always have these real life beginnings and go random at some point, which sometimes works better than others. Here it's hard to pull it all together in my mind. I'm giving it a foot massage initial rating, but am reserving the right to change it later. (Actually I always reserve that right, screw you people I'll do whatever the fuck I want... ok, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all hostile, but I will do as I please on my own site!)

The Trooper

So I'm almost done with my longass week, just one more day to go. It was going pretty rough until I slept like a damn rock until nearly 3 p.m. today. That took a lot of the edge off. But yeah, I make it through tomorrow and I have a day off, woo.

The weather has been so damn gorgeous and I'm spending all my time inside looking at a screen. I'll grant you that I'd probably be doing the same thing if I was off mostly, but I can bitch about it now cause I'm obligated to be there! At least I get to drive to work in temperate conditions. Today I rolled up listening to some Jimi Hendrix and that was nice and seemed fitting for such a beautiful afternoon. The trek home was all Iron Maiden, I love, repeat, LOVE the basslines from Iron Maiden. It's just got this driving sound that I dig a lot. Anyway I'm off.

War inside my head

When it rains, it pours like a bastard. So remember when I mentioned that I picked up some overtime hours to make paying my bills easier? Yeah that definitely happened. I picked up two extra shifts, which I was fine with. Of course, today I found out that my weekend shifts are gonna be longer than normal too. So while the money is gonna be nice, I'm gonna be a bag of shit after this is done... actually probably well before it's done. Ahh well, I shouldn't complain I did have a 18 month vacation beforehand.

Not much else going on, I finished In Cold Blood and it was good overall. I'd say for innovation it deserves a foot massage, but for strict readability for today's audiences I'd lower that to +1 chainmail. But definitely worth the time. I have now moved into complete pulp, reading a book on Warcraft. That's right, more video game novels. What can I say, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing. My nerd cred is unshakable.

I've been listening to a lot of hardcore tonight, so I'm kinda upbeat despite the late hour. It started with Suicidal Tendencies on the ride home. Man I love it when they rip it up. It is impossible to deny music that could be the soundtrack to a riot... or in fact, could start a riot. If you recall, ST wasn't permitted to play L.A. for just that fear. I'm now exploring the aggressive world of Agnostic Front, which is a truly great name for a band.

Cocksuckers calling it quits

I have just read some horrible, horrible news. It concerns my fav. show, Deadwood... sigh. Alas it seems the series will be done after season three. Dammit, why do all the good shows only last three seasons or less while shit like Reba is on for years? WHY? Apparently the creator, David Milch is a cocksucker to work with, according to HBO. Still that show is sooo good, let him run with it.

In other news, Sunday's suck. My shortest shift, but seems the longest. They drag on and on, argh. I also got a sub from Firehouse Subs for dinner and it kinda blew ass. I won't be going back there, in spite of the hotass working there. Tomorrow I get to sit through a presidential address with my highly political comrade and listen to him rant throughout it. The fact that I agree with most of his point of view only makes it a little less like torture.

Betrayed by body and mind

Ohh man what a day I've had. It started late last night when I had a bowl of Life cereal, that my body decided to reject with extreme prejudice. I've felt unwell for most of the day and that was fun. That made work less than fun from the outset. Couple that with me being a dumbass and a couple of annoying things done by other people and it was just not fun.

On the upside, I did get good news. I will be working a couple of extra days later on in the month, which will give me a nice 60 hour week before the end of the month. This is good, because I've been pinching pennies to get my bills under control and next month was gonna be a bastard with my insurance being due. But now, it's more managable, so something worked out nice for a change. Maybe the Year of E is still in effect, maybe.

Anyway I'm done for the moment. Have a good weekend cocksuckers. (Deadwood comes back in June or July and I'm prepping now!)

Hankco's Laminated Grinder World

Sooooooo Trip and I went to Danville today and had a good time. Got a little BBQ at Short Sugar's which is a quality establishment. I particularly like the name, which has much more personality than either Martinsville's main cue places (Pigs R Us... yesh and Dixie Pig).

Anyway after that we did some Mother's Day shopping and I got Mom a nice vase that I hope she likes. We'll see. I traded in some old games for a coupla Game Boy games to play at work. We'll see if I like em. Then we made the trek back to Trip's and watched last week's episode of The Office, which was quality.

We also managed to download the new trailer for Halo 3!! Woooo. I'm never gonna be able to afford a Xbox 360, but one can dream. It was a cool little movie, Bungie does things right.

Ramblings of the insane and pathetic

Soo it was a busy night at work, but not bad. The time went quickly, which is always good. There is a new camera watching what I do, but honestly I don't give a shit. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and so it's fine.

So after work, on my drive home my cd player's batteries died. I decided not to try and juggle it around to switch em while roaring down the highway and gave late night radio a listen. Adam had told me about this paranormal talk show that comes on and I went searching for it and found it. Man, there are some batshit crazy people out there.

The topic was what is your worst fear and the calls ranged from the kind of blah to Crazy-A bonkers (an expression I learned from watching the Young Ones). One guy's fear was that he could imagine odd things... he was totally out there. I gotta admit it was interesting to listen to some of these clearly bizarre people talk.

years go fast, but the days go so slow

Ahh the bliss of days off. I'm watching Memoirs of a Geisha, which is pretty good. Of course I'm obligated to tell you that the book was better. It should come as little surprise. Still Zhang Ziyi is compelling.

Anyway yesterday Trip and I watched UFC 52 in high def. It looked spectacular on Trip's tv. The blood really seems to pop off the screen. Ohh I did get to see Corb for a coupla minutes before the unyeilding stream of his life swept him away.

Think I'm going to spend the day in front of the tv and maybe playing some WoW. Gonna keep it low key.

so tired

Ahh my three days off, here at last. It's been a looooooong four days, let me tell you. Ended up working my first overnight on Sunday. Dude was sick and I got to do it. Loads of fun. Plus work has started to be more like work now. I don't just sit there and watch tv, I actually do stuff. None of it is really hard or annoying, just occupying. So I'm not complaining too hard.

How about that draft? I would now like to say I don't believe the Texans made that bad a decision. There may have been a better way to go about it, but I think they addressed a definite need instead of overspending on a position they have covered. Is Reggie Bush a special player, signs point to yes, but we won't know until the fall and that D-line needed some serious help.

I suppose this all boils down to my own personal football philosophy. I'm a firm believer that the game starts at the line and if you can dominate that, you will win, no matter what super player they have catching or running the ball. That's why I'd say the Jets had a really good draft, picking up two really good linemen in the first round. The Dolphins might have some trouble owning them next year Nick... maybe.

The Steelers seemed to do fairly well in the draft, as usual. I figured they'd go for a safety first, but they reached up and grabbed Santonio Holmes, then added another WR later in the thir .Even so, how could I criticize them? I trust Pittsburgh's front office implicitly. They've proven over the years that they know how to rate talent and get the most out of the draft. So until that changes, I don't have anything to say but welcome to Steeler country draftees.

Occupying my time with a vengeance

Soo I've managed to stay busy throughout my weekend. Trip and I had dinner on Tuesday, mmm Red Lobster. Man I love crab... but anyway. After that we watched the most recent UFC pay-per-view... sans the pay part. It was good, although I was hoping Tito Ortiz would lose, but what can you do? I picked the rest of the fights correctly, proving once again that between my knowledge of mixed martial arts contenders and blind, dumb luck... I rule.

After that I trucked up to Roanoke (I know, going to Roanoke on my days off, yesh) to stay with Adam so I could help him out on Wednesday. He needed me to ride with him to Maryland so he could buy a new Forerunner and drive his wife's Jeep home, which I did. His new ride is pretty sharp and he got a sweet deal. I'm definitely having him do the search when I next decide to buy a car... in a decade or so.

It actually was a pretty fun trip. We chatted the way up and he had bought some walkie talkies so we could talk on the way back. That definitely made it go quicker. Stopped in Harrisonburg for dinner and admired the college cuties for a bit.

When we got back to Roanoke we watched Cinderella Man, which was pretty good. It was no Raging Bull, but pretty good. (+1 chainmail) We then watched Jarhead (foot massage), which I liked a lot. Of course, I knew going in what it was going to be like, but they did a good job of making the book come to life for me. After that I headed back. I considered staying with Adam, but I wanted to have one day where I didn't have to drive to or from Roanoke this week.

Today I slept in, then was greeted with some computer problems that put me off. I fiddled with it all day, bought a new network card, returned it and finally figured out the problem over at Trip's. It was annoying. Then we watched Spike's UFC programming on Thursday. I'm a Ken Shamrock fan, but he really seems to be lagging behind in the coaching department. We'll see how it turns out.

We also watched Ed vs. Spencer, the BBC version of Kenny vs. Spenny. I don't think it's quite as good overall, but it's still fun. Also the Brits contests seem less set up from time to time, as sometimes it seems like there is no way what goes on in Kenny vs. Spenny isn't staged.

Well, I have a long weekend in front of me, what with the NFL Draft and work and all. I'll try to update, but no promises. .

avoid assimilation

Funny how my blog dries up on the weekends as I work. It's almost like I have no time to myself... hmm. Anyway it's not so bad, although tonight I did do the first bit of "work" at my job that actually seemed like work. It's not really that bad, typing in the log, but it's not watching tv... ahh well. Also subclipping video is annoying, maybe worse that typing. I still got a cool job tho, as far as what I do. The pay could be better, but everyone says that.

What other news do I have... I dunno. I watched Brokeback Mountain on Saturday. It was very well done and well acted. I liked it a lot, actually. Ang Lee is a master of making scenery a character in his films, I actually wanted to go to Wyoming. That's something that's never happened before. Also, on a purely misogynistic note, Anne Hathaway topless make my brain stop working on any discernable level. She is breathtaking.

I continue to plow through A Feast for Crows. It has moments of greatness, but I feel like it's really missing something... ohh right, all my favorite characters. Ok, not all of em, but plenty. The ones left are good, better than most other authors characters, but it's had not to miss my favs. I suppose I should stop whining.

Where is your sense of decency?

Watched Good Night and Good Luck tonight and it was excellent (foot massage). I thought it was well put together and well acted. It's sad really how many of those same problems we are now having tho, just substitute terrorist whereever they say communist. America never learns it's lesson... or perhaps there is always someone out there using fear to gain power. Either way it's disconcerting.

Also watched some sweet Ultimate Fighter 3. Good stuff. I'm not sure why UFC isn't one of the top sports in America. It's violent, it has character and it doesn't suffer from the same taint of cheating and fixing that boxing does. I suppose it's cause John McCain decided he'd use it as a soapbox at some point and talk about how it was "human cockfighting," which is totally uninformed. Don't get me wrong, I like McCain, but he's totally off base on that one.

I'm now debating playing some WoW vs. watching Brokeback Mountain. Nerdy vs. gay, the ultimate decision. Hmmm...

dingdangdo

So I've finally been able to catch up on my sleep and that's nice. It's been a pleasant time for it. Spring makes for some great napping.

Yesterday Trip and I tripped the fish fantastic, enjoying a tasty sushi dinner. I tried to bring some back for my mom, but she would have none of it. Even going so far as to raise a sneer at the shrimp! Such a provincial attitude, alas.

Anyway not much else going on. I watched Capote and it was excellent (foot massage). Phillip Seymour Hoffman was amazing, not just for his effeminant lisping and whatnot, but for the depth of the feeling encased within. I now have to read In Cold Blood, just to catch up.

I also watched Hostel with Trip, which was less thrilling. I'm saying Meh. overall, although the boobs were quite nice. Still, as a horror film it really failed, I never felt that offput. Could be I'm just jaded.

Currently reading George R. R. Martin's A Feast for Crows, which Nick was kind enough to loan me. I'm having trouble getting into it. New characters introduced at the start makes it seem confusing. Of course, that's his perogative, I suppose, After three books in a series you have earned a little leeway. I'm sure once I get back into the swing of things I'll tear through it.

further tales of manlove

So continuing where I left off last night, we had barricaded ourselves in our room to fend off the drunken horde. They came in and harrassed the crap out of us, banging on doors and trying to engineer a way into the room, but to no avail.

Next morning we rouse fairly early, Jeff bails and Mike, Nick, Adam and Greg go play golf again, while Kevin and I hit Borders, Target (so I could pick up underwear, which I had forgotten to pack) and Macaroni Grill. We then head back to the hotel for an unmolested nap. Mike and Adam returned and took their own naps, while I read Christopher Moore's new book A Dirty Job, which is excellent (Filet Mignon).

Later on we all finally get a move on and head out to Logan's for dinner, which was kind of meh... Then ended up going to some bar Stumble Stiltskin's maybe? The bartender was super hot and we spent the evening oggling her. Adam and Kevin were both contemplating an early exit and bailed early, I didn't stay out much later, but Mike had to hit the club's. He shows an inability to give up the club life for some reason, I don't really get the charm.

We left pretty early the next morning, especially Adam. I know he and Kev were operating on a complete lack of rest for their Easter festivities. I came home and crawled back into bed and didn't rouse until Mom told me Gabe was on the phone. So I got to talk with that goon for a while. Then I goofed off until I had to go to work.

Anyway I don't know if I've actually conveyed that I had a good time with these posts. I seem to have overfocused on the negative (nothing new really) and minimized the fact that I really do enjoy hanging out with those guys and was glad to be there despite packing that much meat into that small of a hotel room.

Chicken fucker, brokeback and eatin ain't cheatin

Man it's been a full weekend. I'm exhausted, so I don't know how far I'm gonna go with this post. My drive home was brutal. My eyes felt all dried out and droopy and I had to force myself back into awareness a couple of times. Worst ride home so far, but I wanted to get something down here for my faithful few readers.

Anyway, as I've mentioned previously, this weekend was Mike's bachelor party deal in Greensboro, with the whole crew hooking it up. It was Mike, Nick, Adam, Kevin, Jeff, Greg and myself in two hotel rooms the first night and Mike, Adam, Kevin and me in one room the second night. Let me say that the time in the rooms were filled with dank and fetid odors and frequent eyefuls of manmeat. Scary really.

I had a pretty good time, although I was totally stunned when we ended up in a club on Friday. When I hang with my boys, that's what I wanna do, not go to a place where conversation is not an option and mill around staring at hot women that want nothing to do with me. But enough with the bad...

We opened things on Friday with Mike, Adam and Kevin waking me up way too early, me packing hurriedly and being picked up. We played golf in Madison, NC at a crummy little course I hadn't been to in years. I ended up swinging pretty well, considering. My short game was horrid, but I did manage to hit a few decent strokes. I think I amazed Adam. People often confuse my unwillingness to do stuff as an indicator of inability, as opposed to the simple apathy it is.

From there we hooked up with Nick at the hotel, grabbed a late lunch and then went swimming. Jeff eventually arrived and we goofed off until dinner, which was ok, despite my steak being a little charred and it being expensive.

Ohhh, I almost forgot we had the fantasy football trophy ceremony for Nick at the hotel before the pool. Adam pulled out all the stops, sweet trophy, plaque to commemorate all the past winners, an unveiling and to top it all, music from Monday Night Football and NFL Films. I'm looking forward to it next year when I win.

Anyway, after dinner we wandered around for a bit and ultimately went to the club that stunned me. Kev, Jeff and I weren't drunk enough to enjoy ourselves so we bailed a little early and barricaded our room to prevent being fucked with when the drunk bitches made it in. A wise choice.

Ok, that's the opening night completed and I'm beat. I'll continue the story tomorrow when I get a chance, but now I hear my pillow calling me. So long chicken fuckers.

No. 37, the Larch

OK I think I have reached maximum saturation on speculation on the NFL draft. I want to hear no more about which quarterback is the best. If they talked more about defensive players or possible positions beside QB I might be ok, but it's always about the same crap. Just get me to the draft and then we can talk about who took what and where.

I'm enjoying my time off, although I haven't really done a whole helluva lot. Mike is in tonight, so I think we're gonna go grab some beer at Hurley's. I'm gonna take it easy, as I'm driving and I'm saving up for the weekend.

Soooooo yeah...

This is not me! I hate this!

Vacation!!!! Wooooo. Yeah it's been a hard couple of months and now I need some time off... Yeah I know I'm a slacker, but what can you do. I plan on enjoying kicking back until the weekend and some good quality partying with the gang. I'm hoping we can piss off some good Christians in the hotel for Easter this weekend. That's my goal.

Notes from yesterday: woke up like I had won the silver in an Olympic drooling event, ran late the whole way to work and ground out my 10 hours there. Drove home, stopped for gas and got some chicken tenders at the Dodge Store... big mistake. Walked into my home and was greeted with the bold smell of fresh lilacs on the kitchen table. Nice, but disconcerting when you don't expect it at 3 a.m.

Debating what to do tonight. I may stay in and watch ESPN's Draft special. We'll see, I'm sure it'll be rebroadcast and I may need to get out.

My other ride is your mom

Sooo I'm not near as depressed today. Don't get me wrong, it's not all rainbows and unicorns, but I'm not breaking out the white makeup and black clothing while listening to the Cure either. Work was, well work. Sunday is bad because the WB programming sucks donkey nard and good because I turn that shit down and watch the Fox stuff that's good and then adult swim.

The highlight of the night was when a coworker was talking about Aliens vs. Predator, the horrible, horrible movie. He really liked it!!??! and wondered "If they'll make a sequel?" I didn't really feel like discussing why I thought this movie was a hunk of utter shit, so I replied with a noncommittal, "They probably will." Which seemed to satisfy him, although I may not have been able to remove the resigned tone from my answer completely.

Anyway, one more night of work before my five day weekend and Mike's bachelor deal. Wooo. Hopefully tomorrow won't suck totally.

The desolation of interpersonal relationships

There is a special kind of despair I get when I am around people and wish they'd go away and then when they aren't there I feel lonely. I've been in a pretty melancholic mood all day, probably because of the rain. I dunno, I've just felt isolated of late. My home doesn't feel like home and nothing I do seems to ultimately bring me much pleasure.

It's probably just doldroms induced by spring coming and me not having anyone to sprung with, if you will. Anyway, it's way too late and I need to sleep for another fun-filled day tomorrow.

Ground and pound

Went to hang with Trip this evening and ended up getting sucked into UFC stuff on Spike. First they had some live matches, which was cool. None of them were spectacular really, but still fun. Then the new season of the reality show Ultimate Fighter came on. It's Shamrock vs. Ortiz coaching, which gives Trip and I a natural point to argue over since he loves that douchebag Ortiz and hates Shamrock (who I always liked).

But yeah, I love watching that stuff. It has the stuff I liked about Tuff Enough without the suckass wrestling part, although I do admit to missing Al Snow as a trainer. Still actual mixed martial arts makes up for it.

I return to work tomorrow, but I suppose it's not all bad. I work four days and then get five off, whoo. Gotta love that, although it does hurt my financial rebirth. Ehh, what can you do?

Here comes the Raging Bull

I, having been diagnosed by my mother, look like hell. Actually she said I look ill, but I'm translating into Eric-ese. I don't really feel great, but I am feeling kinda crappy. Anyway I don't think it's anything big, I'm just beat.

Trip and I had Outback, which was more expensive than I remember, but good. It'd been a while since I had enjoyed a good steak. After that we goofed off and walked around the mall for a while. I ended up succumbing to temptation and getting Battlefield 2, but I got a good deal on it so all is well. I still haven't played it, I may hook that up in a minute.

After returning to Martinsville, I got to see the XBox 360 in action and man is it sweet. I'm totally jealous. Fight Night 3 is pure boxing goodness. I won the first game with Jake Lamotta, but Trip then came back to win the rest of the fights. I shoulda won the last matchup, but he put together two good punches and I was unable to get up... which sucked.

After that we checked out the bells and whistles and it's all really cool. Plus the wireless controllers are handy, although both Trip and I kept reaching for the cords to keep from getting tangled in them, except they don't exist so we just look like goons. Needless to say I want a 360 now... although I have bigger fish to fry.

This is the time of decision

Man it's hard to keep posting while I'm working. I mean, I love the four on, three off schedule, but during the four on I feel like I don't have time for anything more than work, driving and sleep. It'll all work out once I get moved. But yeah, the past four days seemed really long. But now the sweet payoff.

Not much planned for the "weekend" honestly. Trip and I are probably gonna hit up some fine Australian cuisine and then play his XBox 360 for a while. That should be cool. Other than that I'm probably just gonna try to keep it low key and cheap. With Mike's Bachelor party coming up in a coupla weeks I need to conserve some cash to enjoy that properly.

People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time

Just got in from a relatively pleasant night of work. I realized that I love not having to deal with people at work. I got in at 4 p.m. and the place was packed. Guys working on stuff, people filing in and out organizing tapes and whatnot and I was kind of annoyed with all the traffic. At 5 p.m. most of those people disappeared and the evening brightened considerably. By 7 p.m. it was down to just me and Lindsay, who was working the Fox side and tends to be very quiet. I love it. No mindless, uninteresting time filling conversations, just me left to my own devices.

Anyway I am now highly tired. I should be going to sleep, but I will probably putter around the net for a bit. Ohhh yeah, I'm now officially insured, so that's one less thing to stress about. No cosmic April Fool's Day joke... well not yet anyway.

Ohh I finished reading William Gibson's Count Zero on Thursday night and it was good. Not my favorite of his books, but even at his worst he's better than most others. I'd give this book an easy foot massage. I'll eventually work my way through his entire catalog, I'm closing in on it now.