Before bed rambling

Apparently I'm not updating enough to satisfy some of my law enforcing readers. That's how it goes when you have to do actual work instead of sitting in your car eating donuts. Hehe.

Honestly there is not much to tell. I bought Soul Caliber 3 for my PS2 (which has become officially antiquated as of 8 a.m. yesterday) and have spent too much time with that. I've also been reading Neil Stephenson's Cryptonomicon which is quite good. More about that when I've finished it. Ohh, I also watched The Breakup, the Vaughnifer vehicle, and it was ok, nothing exceptional really (Meh.). I mean it has some cool Vince Vaughn moments, but I'm accustomed to greater things. Ohh and Jennifer Aniston is hot, I'll give her that.

What I should be doing instead of all of those things is writing. I've been working on a couple of ideas during my commute. (Gives me something to do besides dwell on self hatred.) I think I've more or less worked out what I'm gonna write for my grad app. Still there is the process of taking that out of my head and putting it into real words and that can be time consuming.

Something just isn't right pretty much always

Blarg. I'm in the middle of my weekend and I'm not sure how to fill the time. I need to be doing something other than staring at a screen for hours on end, but what? It's Monday so no one else wants to do anything and I need to not spend a ton of money anyway. I dunno I'm just bored of doing the same old thing. I need more social interaction.

I dunno, I'm just bitching. I suppose I'm a bit jealous that Mike, Nick and Adam flew down to Miami to see the Chiefs-Dolphins game. They're off partying while I'm stuck working. Bah, it's my own fault, I gotta pay my dues now after being slack for so damn long.

I did finish Accelerando and it was good, although the ending kind of dissappointed me. Still well worth the effort (foot massage). Ohh and I finished watching Godard's My Life to Live, which is about a woman who finds herself becoming a prostitute. I can't say I really liked it, it was a series of marginally related scenes and didn't involve me as much as I'd like.

In other news, I got my packet from Hollins University and looked over the requirements for admission. If I do the creative writing program I need to do just that, write creatively, for the application. I also need three letters of recommendation and have no idea who to get to write them. Who knows if my college profs will do it since it's been so long since I was there. The people I worked with at the Bulletin I have either drifted away from or hated from the start. My antisocial nature bites me on the ass once again.

pushing past the current possibilities

I feel like ass. It all started last night when I at some chicken and my body rejected it immediately and violently. Unpleasant. Then I wake up a half hour before the alarm because my arm is numb because my melon head is lying right on top of it. By the time I drift back off, it's time for the alarm to go off and I feel like total ass. I debated calling in sick, but decided to tough it out. Work was fairly uneventful and I stayed busy so it went fairly quickly.

Now I'm back to filling ill and tired. I need to get back to walking and eating better, but it's damn hard. I'm gonna try to reinstate it on Sunday, but I may be exhausted from work and distracted by football. We'll see.

I finally finished reading The Prestige, which was pretty good (maybe foot massage, but more likely +1 chainmail). I want to see the movie now, but will probably wait for DVD. It's just easier and less annoying than the theatre. But yeah, the story is pretty good. It's about a feud between to 19th century magicians. It gets a little odd at the end, but that's part of the charm.

I'm now reading Charles Stross' Accelerando which is excellent so far. It's a cyberpunk tale that is a decidely 21st century novel. It keeps pushing new ideas and information at you constantly, like a less sucky MTV dialed up to eleven. Lot of ideas about people becoming "posthuman" which is a concept that fascinates me.

Known racist and Virginia senator... maybe not

So I exercised my franchise today. As cynical as I am I do try to take advantage of the advantages a democracy brings. Too bad I'm surrounded by absurdly conservative people who base their lives on a book written 2000 years ago and translated more times than you would believe. But yeah, I figure that if you don't vote you shouldn't complain. So I vote... and complain. The circle is complete.

I'm listening to the new Badly Drawn Boy album, which is pretty good. I think this is an album several of my more middle of the road readers would like. It's got a nice mellow rocky vibe, but with depth. It's not my usual brutal metal or anarchistic punk, more mainstream.

Edit:Looks like I was lamenting an Allen win too early and Webb may have pulled it out. Maybe Virginia is less dumb than I thought. But just barely.

Flames of Icarus

A low key birthday for yours truly. Went to High Point and had dinner with Trip and his girl. Had a pretty good time. Got our TGIFriday's on, and they have some intriguing appetizers. We went with the fundido, which is both tasty and fun to say. Fun-Di-Do. It's like a party in your mouth... That sounds like a bad joke waiting to happen, so I'll stop.

Since I got home I've basically just futzed around on the net, not doing much. I did read the Marvel Zombies comics, which was interesting. Basically all your favorite heros had been transformed into zombies and had eradicated almost all human life on earth. Loads of fun. Zombies and superheroes, two great tastes that taste great together.

I'm also listening to the most recent Ministry album, Rio Grande Blood, which is wonderfully brutal. I recommend Assclown to anyone who isn't a big Bush fan.

subtracts and divides

So it's been a pretty shitty football day for me. Steelers, lose. Caribou, have a tenuous 10 point lead, but have three players left to face on Monday night, including both starting backs. Not good. I was so disheartened by the Steelers' fumblitis that I packed up and went to Kev's where we watched the Colts-Pats game. It seemed like the Pats kept forgetting that their rushing attack was slapping the Colts' D and just decided to pass a lot and lost.

It was cool hanging with Kevin, although I was stunned driving up there. I don't need to be on that road any more than I have to at this point. Too much time to think and let my negative mindset take hold. Still it was worth it to get to hang some. Plus I ended up swiping a bunch of his DVDs to watch.

Speaking of DVDs, I just watched Fugazi's Instrument, which was pretty good. It follows their career with different shows, interviews and whatnot. Interesting stuff for those who want to know more. Fugazi is one of those seminal bands that really affected my world view. They have a different way of looking at things and I'm a better person for having heard it and trying to apply some of it to my life, even if I fall short of the ideal quite often.

Murder train a-comin

After a brutal work week I am finally free. Today I enjoyed the first of four days off and that was nice. I went to my grandma's 80th birthday party. It wasn't too bad. Lots of older people that I really have no idea about, but whatever. I got to see most of the relatives I like, so that was good.

Ohh, one thing I can complain about is the fact that when I arrived home at 7a.m. this morning I got out of my Jeep and smelled gasoline. I check underneath and, sure enough, gas is dripping. So now instead of being free for time off, I get to stay in and wonder if my Jeep will be back on the road by the time I have to be at work. If not, I'm fucked. It's pissing me off.

Anyway, after the party I went to Trip's for a minute (in Mom's car) and we watched a Hellboy cartoon he had taped. It was pretty good, most of the same people from the movie. Trip was less enthralled and slept through a significant portion of it.

It's late (early?) and I'm headed for some sleep. Maybe I'll be able to rise before the first games start tomorrow.

The fleshy cheek of the mommy and daddy dance

So yeah, I've spent my time off this weekend dividing my time between lamenting my football teams fates and watching movies. Both the Steelers and the Caribou were bested this weekend. Sad times indeed.

On to the movie watching. I started things off with a documentary on heavy metal music called Metal. It was pretty good. Entertaining and informative as a general overview of metal and the questions surrounding the music. The interviews with the satanic Norweigian black metal guys were the best. I also watched Day of the Dead, which is another George Romero zombie flick from 1985. Pretty good, but not the best (+1 chainmail). Hard to top Dawn of the Dead.

Tonight Trip and I hit Danville, scarfed some wings and saw Saw 3. It was ok (+1 chainmail), but not as good as Saw 2, which was my fav (foot massage). I dunno, the traps seemed less interesting. Hard to get into why it was less intriguing without giving away the "twists."

Anyway I have to work overnights all week and am more than a little beat at that thought. Gonna be a long damn week. I think I may get a jumpstart on sleep soon as I am beat. Good night.

I hate to think of what else it could be

So Daylight Savings Time tacked an extra hour onto my work schedule, making it a 13 hour night. Yeah, it's marvelous... I got to drive home with the crack of dawn in my rear view. It was nice actually, the brightening light, the panopoly of colors. It made for a spectacular ride home. I do so love fall.

Spent the long night watching Bravo's take on the scariest movie moments. I'm a sucker for a good list, as I've said before. Especially when they put on the best clips from quality movies.

Anyway I need to sleep so I can watch the foosball later. Long live the Caribou!

He has a condo made of stone-a

Now listening to: Nick Drake

Today was one of those days, where no matter what you do it seems like you're behind. I got up and walked, then had to scramble to get ready. It didn't help that I took way too much time talking on the phone. I have a tendency to put off leaving for work, since, of course, I don't really want to go. Once arriving at my place of business (and talking a teeny bit of smack to Kevin) I found out that we had computer issues and I was starting in the hole. At 8:30 I finally got done with the stuff I normally have finished at 6:30 and then addressed the other crap that was backed up. It was a struggle.

Let's see, what's new for me... I watched The Seventh Seal, which was amazing (filet mignon). If you like deep existential movies about death, the existence of god and plague-ridden Europe, it's the film for you. Ingmar Bergman put together some amazing scenes and dialogue. I love movies with Death as a character anyway. Also, it is the film debut of Max von Sydow, who I have loved ever since first seeing Strange Brew.

I also finished The Pleasure of My Company, which is Steve Martin's second book. Yes, the wild and crazy guy Steve Martin. It's pretty good (foot massage). It's about an OCD suffering guy, who's trying to find love. Martin does a good job of infusing the book with real moments and a nice dry humor. I'm amazed by how talented this guy is, it's pretty amazing.

Who cares about you?

So clearly I've been fiddling with my blog again. I went for a more Steeler-centric theme, in spite of their overtime loss today. I'm still not sold on it tho. I may have to figure out how to manipulate html to get what I want and who has the time? So this will do for the moment, I tried to keep it readable although black type on a black background was tempting.

So yeah, Pittsburgh lost in OT. An OT that should have never happened. First of all we shouldn't have put the ball on the ground three times, giving up 21 points on turnovers. Secondly, we shouldn't have let them have a successful onside kick. Third there should have been no bullshit false start penalty with eight seconds left. How can you make that call when you didn't call a helmet to helmet hit on Roethlisberger? That call made the game a coin flip and we lost it.

Anyway, after the game I went for a walk to cool down and then went and had dinner with Corb and Trip. We went to Applebee's and saw Jared from Subway, clearly off his diet. I feel so betrayed. Honestly, I would have never noticed if Trip hadn't of pointed him out. I mean, who looks for Jared?

I just tried to watch George Romero's Night of the Living Dead and couldn't get through it. Too slow. I tried, but it wasn't taking. As I may have said in the past, I love me some zombies, but this was just too dated. So after that aborted attempt I decided to fiddle here. So that's my day, are you on the edge of your seat yet?

Tastes like chicken if chicken was a candy

My feet hurt. Argh. I'm preparing to go to work now, which kinda sucks. I think I may be doing some training tonight, which could also suck, but it will spell the end of my 50 hour weeks for a while. That's both good and bad really, but I could use some time to myself.

So Adam has panned my new site design, claiming the colors aren't as good. I'm inclined to agree with him, although I do like some of the other accoutrements. Gonna have to see what else I can find when I get some time.

I watched the Devil's Rejects last night and enjoyed it. You know I often end up rooting for the villans in horror movies and clearly Rob Zombie is the same way because you can't not root for the Rejects. He takes all the coolest bits from 70s horror movies (including some of the actors) and makes you love the evil! I'm sure at some point there will be an antropologist showing this movie as an example of the decline of the American way of life. Something to look forward to.

Please don't declare me an enemy combatant

Now listening to: Xiu Xiu

Work wasn't that bad tonight. I stayed busy and it moved pretty quick. That's always a good thing. Just three more days until the weekend... yesh. Ohh and it's race weekend, which means I can't leave the house Sunday even if I wanted. Good thing I'll be captivated by the NFL. Here's hoping it's not gonna rain all weekend and we can get the race tards gone ASAP.

So this Xiu Xiu is hauntingly beautiful and abstract. Odd instrumentation and minimalist at times, but it can also wander into the odd dance track, well an unusual dance track, but a dance track nonetheless. It's got a noise component that makes it tough to get into for some, but I love it.

I watched Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead last night, which was an odd adaptation of Hamlet that I may have read in high school. The movie starred Gary Oldman and Tim Roth and had Richard Dreyfus supporting, so you know it was well acted. Still, the story was clearly intended for the stage and the transition to film wasn't altogether successful. Had some great word play tho. I'd rate it +1 chainmail, but you have to be in the right mood for it.

I intend to dive wholeheartedly from the depths of the Shakespearian into the incredibly shallow waters of The Dukes of Hazard tonight. Putting my brain in park in preparation.

Ohh before I shift into brain numbing comedy I do have one political note to add. I'm afraid. George W. Bush now has despotic powers granted by Congress. Keith Olberman went on a tirade about it tonight and I agree with him 100%. I want my habeus corpus. It's this type of move against personal freedoms, made entirely out of fear, that make me think the terrorists are winning. If they do "hate our freedom" (as W. so ineloquently puts it) then we're going out of our way to accomodate them by getting rid of it.

She wasn't all that strict of a Christian

Man I'm pissed that I didn't watch Monday Night Football. The Bears drop a magnificent comeback with the defense (which is the engine that my fantasy team runs on) and I miss it. Arg. Oh well, Trip and I had a good time hanging out at least, although I thought he was gonna flip the script when he found out that Adelphia had screwed up his High Def channels and his shows didn't record right. No Heroes for him or me for that matter.

We grabbed some shrimp and then did some shopping. I bought a sweater that was on sale. I was trying things on in the store and realized I wasn't gonna like how anything I put on looked because I don't like what's underneath it. I gotta get it together and lose some weight. It's hard with my schedule tho... Bah, I'm boned.

Got the new Hold Steady album and it's awesome. The Springsteen flavor has been upped somewhat. It's really good. I've listened to it three times already tonight and starting on a fourth.

I do not want to head back to work tommorrow, seems like I just left that place. Sucks.

Street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm

Well I gave homage to the Lord today in the matter usually proscribed... I watched football all day long and ate way too much. The Lord in this case is, of course, the NFL. It was a good day for me, the Surly Caribou won and I still have the Bears' D and Bernard Berrian left to play. Also the Steelers brought the hammer against the Chiefs and showed that they aren't done yet. It was fun to watch, although Pittsburgh fumbled the ball too much. Things like that will lose close games and you gotta cut em out.

Did anyone see the footage of that footbrawl that Miami put on Saturday. Hot damn! That's fun to watch. Anytime you see a player using his helmet as a club, you know it's good. It's even better if he rips off another guys helmet and bashes him with it, that'd be awesome.

I finally finished The Adventures of Kavalier and Klay by Michael Chabon. Good stuff, small surprise this guy won a Pulitzer. Not sure what I'm gonna read next, I got a book that's supposed to have some horror themes, just in time for Halloween called The Town that Forgot to Breathe. I may have to look for something a little less cerebral tho and find some old school zombie, vampire, Frankensteiny action.

Time has told me

I have a headache and am soon for going to bed and trying to sleep it off. In the meantime, I am listening to some Nick Drake and trying to soothe it away. Five Leaves Left is a great album if you can dig the whole depressive folky vibe.

Work was the usual tonight, periods of slackness punctuated by moments of panic. Sometimes I'm amazed things get broadcast at all. Word on the street is that they are trying to hire someone who has worked there before, so the training period could be short and I could get back to my three day weekend. I'll believe it when I see it. Also I'll miss the overtime pay, although I really could use some more time to myself.

Tonight I watched my first Ingmar Bergman film, Wild Strawberries. It's about an old man, looking back on his life and realizing some of the mistakes he's made. Some dream sequences and whatnot. Aside from the theme of the movie, the thing that struck me most was the absolutely gorgeous women in the movie. I know, hot women in movies is as old as the medium itself, but there was something that captivated me with all of the women in the movie. Some quirk of their character that forced me to love them, not just because they were lovely, but because they had some kind of depth. I need to find more women with depth, all the ones I do know are either married or have managed to move far away from me.

I think I'll stop there before I start to wallow in self pity.

Extreme makeover

Well it's obvious that I have been tinkering around here. Got some new options for variety so I thought I'd try em out. I'm not sure how if I like the new color scheme, but it'll have to do for a bit, as I'm tired of fiddling with it for now. The biggest problem I have now is that the yellow I was using to show what I was listening to as I posted is unreadable on the new main background color. I'm way too lazy to change all of those old posts, so my advice is to highlight it if you feel the need to browse the archives.

Trip and I went to Greensboro for some shopping yesterday and we had a pretty good time. I didn't go overboard money wise, which is always a plus. I did buy Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job and read it in it's entirety last night. I had planned to wait for paperback, but after some soul searching I decided I wanted a first edition copy. It's really good, Filet mignon with upward mobility. Hmmm not sure if that color works, but it will have to do.

The only trouble I really had all day was the fact that I ordered a calzone and it was loaded with black olives. I originally asked for it without them, but they had a premixed thing they used, so it was get olives or change my order. I didn't feel like changing and thought that since they were a minor part of the meal I'd be ok. What I forgot is that it only takes one black olive in the thing to make every bite taste like the foul little turds of Satan.

Later on Trip and I hit Cold Stone Creamery for some ice cream.I got a yummy banana ice cream/peanut butter cup mix, while Trip went for a banana ice cream/chocolate syrup/brownie shake. While there I offered Trip a taste of mine (Yes, we're an old gay couple, leave us alone) and he reminded me he hates peanut butter. What makes this odd is that he does, in fact, enjoy peanuts. I marveled over this absurd idiosyncracy and prodded him further to admit that when he eats peanuts eh doesn't chew them up a lot to keep them from getting the butter consistency. Not just weird, also a choking hazard.

Battle of the network space krakens

Just as country music scars the landscape of musical variety, so too was my day scarred by the loss of the Pittsburgh Steelers. All had been going well: The Surly Caribou had supplied ample points and, while the jury is still out, it seems as though victory is at hand, T.O. had a relatively lackluster day and lost and I had lounged on my couch thoroughly. So it was quite a shock to find my perfect day suddenly significantly less perfect. Roethlisberger showed signs of improvement early, but feel struggled late. Maybe next week.

Hmmm, let's see what else is new? I'm watching far too much tv (imagine that, someone who works at a tv station watching tv). Some of the stuff that's pretty awesome according to me:

• Heroes, kinda Xmany, but with a nice flavor. Hell I'm a sucker for mutants, Marvel or otherwise, the fact that I hang out with Trip proves it.
• My Name is Earl, still super awesome.
• The Office can't be denied.
• Studio 60 is really, really good too. I wish it didn't conflict with MNF.
• Venture Bros. is still maybe the best thing ever. Lots of other adult swim stuff could also go here. Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, Metalocalypse, Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law.
  
• Scrubs, reruns everywhere... well on Comedy Central and my Fox affiliate. It rules.
• The Biggest Loser makes me want to get off my fat ass and do something. If only I had time for it now, maybe once I drop under 50 hours a week.

I suppose that's all I can think of now. I tried to watch Friday Night Lights, but I've seen that type of thing too many times. Read the book, saw the movie, watched Varsity Blues and I'm over it. I think I'm gonna go watch the Xmen 3 now. Gotta get my nerd on!
I'm sure I forgot some

I wanna be a bear

Now listening to: The Descendents

So it seems I only thought I hated baseball before, now I really do. Well that's not entirely true, I had plenty of reason to hate it working at the Bulletin. Sadly I have a new reason to hate it, as the dreaded national pasttime has intruded into my professional life once again. I will be forced to run most of a double header on Saturday of the god awful baseball playoffs. Those games move slower than an octogenarian's colon and are not quite as entertaining to watch.

In other new, I watched Manhattan the other day. Gotta love Woody Allen. This wasn't my favorite of his movies, (hard to not say Annie Hall as my fav., which is the standard answer, but it's really good), but it was still good. Gotta get more. I also watched Jules and Jim, which is more of the French New Wave courteousy of Truffant. It was involving and had some deep relationships, a la a love triangle. Up next in my watching schedule: Lady Vengeance, the final part of Chan Wook Park's revenge trilogy. Gogo subtitles!

I'll get the astronaut ice cream

Now listening to: Puccini's La Boheme

So I'm trying out some opera. It's not bad, although I don't see it become a passion of mine or anything. But I always like to try something new on for size.

Anyway, on to what's really important: The Surly Caribou rumbled to a win over Kevin's Heaven's Own team this weekend. I got excellent production across the board (cept for my damned kicker, I can't buy a break there) and posted big numbers. It's very exciting after getting demolished last week. Hopefully my guys are gonna get it together now.

Also I got to hang with Gabe, Kelly and Cameron, which was cool. I admit that I am genetically biased toward my nephew, but he's pretty cool. He's always smiling and having a good time. Friggin adorable, and I don't even like kids. Tho for some reason most of the ones I deal with seem to dig me.

After they left I hooked up with Trip and he and I had dinner. We then watched some adult swim and, what?, football. Got so see the Bears wreak havoc on Seattle.

So sayeth the lord "Don't be a dick."

So Adam and I met for a late dinner last night at IHOP. As usual, the food was substandard, but it was good to hang out. We talked for a long time. We had a nice discussion about his Christianity vs. my skepticism. Nothing offensive, just trying to explain how we see things and get a handle on the other's view. Good times.

I do think Adam was half amused and half appalled when I consolidated all of Christ's ethical teachings down into one sentence. "Don't be a dick." But come on, it does sum it all up, more or less. Anyway I had a good time chatting it up.

Tonight was significantly less enjoyable. As I neared Roanoke, the clouds grew dark and I was deluged for the final few miles. Then at work I was supposed to be training this girl and it just didn't really suit me. I was put off for most of the night, really. I get to do it again tomorrow too probably and I'm not looking forward to it.

the dawn simply refuses to break

And the end of my time off draws nigh. I did very little of use this weekend. Both the Steelers and the Surly Caribou, my fantasy football team, continue to lose and all remains fairly unwell. I'm trying not to dwell on the many ways my life sucks at the moment and just keep my head down and trudge forward. What else can I do at this point?

Trip and I did enjoy some shrimply delights this evening and walked about the Danville mall. I resisted temptation in the form of black Chuck Taylor lowtops that I've been considering getting to up my Ramones cred. They are the apotheosis of cool, but a penny saved is blah blah blah.

I watched Pollack last night, which won some Academy award in 2000. It was pretty good (foot massage), I love learning about art, particularly modern art. But it's another one of those topics where me knowing about it doesn't really make any difference since most people have no clue. Which means if I do work it into conversation I sound like a know-it-all and, hence, a douche bag. Knowledge, she is a bitch goddess.

still I'm gonna miss you

At last, my respite is here. I have no real plans for the next two days. I know that's shocking to everyone. I do intend, however, to make some attempt to get out and interact with people. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm spending way too much time alone. I need some face time.

Not much else new, work, blah, drive, blah, sleep, blah. I watched Heavy on VH1 last night, which is the story of heavy metal. Or rather, it's the story of the video clips VH1 can get to use as a history. It was more comprehensive than the punk one they did a while back. (Just cause metal has had more time in the spotlight, I suppose and punk's naturally nonphotogenic past.)

invalidity of feeling

Now listening to: Mastodon

Man it's been a long work week... and I still have two more days, 12 hours each. My mood has been of the darkest variety of late. Too many things reminding me of too many things. I'm just struggling to make it through the days. Something good has to happen soon, if only through blind dumb luck something good has to happen.

I should note that Kevin has proven his manly virility again and spawned a second daughter, Zoe. At last word she, Courtney and all involved were doing well. So I suppose that's something good.

I've been watching lots of the fall season openers this week. I haven't been overly impressed, honestly. But that may just be a side effect of my depression. Earl and the Office were pretty good, but I only got to half watch them being distracted by work crap. (Damn work from keeping me from watching the television I wanna see.) I watched the Biggest Loser while running America's Next Top Model. Those two side by side was a serious juxtaposition of fantasy vs. reality. It boggled the mind. Another note on the model show, yes those women are smoking hot, but what the hell would you talk to them about? I mean how much hair care/skin care discussion can one bear?

I'm now off to contemplate my solitary existence for a while before the sweet release of sleep.

Hardly getting over it

Well it's been that kind of weekend. I've felt kinda crappy, both my fantasy football team and the Steelers lost and just a general malaise around me. Bleh. And tomorrow I get to go back to work... woo. I did manage to live up to my concept of not doing a damn thing today. Fun stuff.

You know I th0ught I had more to say, but I really don't. I could talk about the Steelers loss, but why?

it's getting faster now, it's getting out of hand

Now listening to: Joy Division

I've felt beat all damn day. It didn't help that I got like six hours of sleep, I suppose. I got home from work and made some dreadful fantasy football decisions, that ultimately cost me and, as such, I lost to Adam. It would have been down to the wire anyway, but my changing tight ends and Stallworth for Maroney cost me. Hats off to him for fielding a solid team and not being a dumbass and putting the wrong players in.

I need to shake it off, as my waiver movements this week paid off. I won't get into specifics, since those that know what I'm talking about can check it out for themselves and those that don't, really don't give a shit anyway. Ohh and congrats to Kev for a stunning come from behind victory. He may be a real contender.

What else? Ummm, instead of sitting around watching football all day I decided to go and do dinner with Trip. We ended up hitting Western Sizzlin. I don't regret that decision, but I both rue and lament it. After that we did Walmart, which was ok. I really hate Martinsville's Walmart, but am less put off by others. I think it's just the potential to run into people I know and don't want to talk to, or maybe it's just the aura of suck that permeates everything in Martinsville.

I haven't decided if I'm leaving the house tomorrow. I may just laze about, watching all the pregame hype for Steelers vs. Jaguars. I dunno. Sometimes it's good to do absolutely fuck all. Plus I should probably try and clean my room at some point, although I've intended to do that for several months now and found it difficult to get started.

They don't love you like I love you

My work schedule has changed. It's the first time ever that losing someone at work has lead to me having a better schedule. I now get Sundays and Mondays off, starting tomorrow and lose an overnight shift for one where I leave at 1 a.m. That is a relief. I probably wouldn't mind overnight shifts if I didn't have a two hour commute that pumps it up to 14 hours and that's brutal.

I'm currently reading this book called Hairstyles of the Damned and it's pretty good. It's about high school angst and all that. I probably wouldn't have paid it any mind if it hadn't of been published by Punk Planet Press. I'm a fan of their magazine and basic philosphy so I picked it up.

Spent most of last night on the phone with Kevin, Trip, Gabe and Corb. Who knew I was such a big phone person? Not me, usually I hate the fucker, but lately I can't stay off it. I suppose chattering on the phone at work is better than actually paying attention to what I'm doing.

Inbetween days

Now listening to: The Cure

So I did absolutely nothing today. Well, nothing of consequence. I sat in front of my computer and fiddled and watched some TV, which wasn't really that good aside from various sports talk programs that I watch regularly. I'd almost have been better off working... God, who am I?

I got kinda bored really, but didn't want to go out cause I'd just spend money I don't need to waste. So I sat here. I debated jumping back into Warcraft, but I know my leisure time will soon be in short supply again. Plus Netflix and Warcraft is a bit much. It may not be too bad once my work week goes back to four days, but that appears to be a far off proposition.

I tried to watch Woody Allen's Match Point but what was going on seemed so remote from my existence it lost my attention. That's not to say it was bad, I mean come on, it's Woody Allen. Plus Scarlett Johanssen is simply breathtaking. Even with all that going for it, I just couldn't relate. A guy with two beautiful women wanting him, living the life of the elite. It was too far for me to go. This has more to do with my current low grade depression than the movie.

I really love the Cure's Head on the Door album. There was a point where I would have said hands down that Disentegration was the best they had ever done. I still think it's a work of pure genius, but it's hard to put in. It's soo depressive that it just sends a black wave over me and I can't deal. Head on the Door has the same flavor, but without the mind-altering despair and has worked it's way into my heavy rotation of late.

To become immortal, then die

Now listening to: The Eels

The joys of doing very little, ahhh. I got to bed early (for me) and slept well. I finally rousted and checked up on the state of fantasy football. Not surprisingly not much had changed, that didn't stop me from talking about it all day on my phone. Adam and I tried to hash out a deal, but neither of us is willing to come across with what the other wants.

I think I may have annoyed Trip by talking on the phone while we were hanging out. I know I've been on the receiving end of that stunnage plenty and it sucks, but what can you do. The best solution? Get your own cell phone and become the stunner instead of the stunnee.

I watched Breathless tonight, Godard's first film, to continue my exploration of the French New Wave. It was good, although I did prefer Truffant's The 400 blows. I'd say Breathless was +1 chainmail overall, but it did have some amazing lines, like "To become immortal, then die." Which was a novelist's greatest ambition.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother watching these things, since they inevitably take me even farther away from the norm of the average person I meet. I mean, it's not like I run into a lot of new people who have any idea what I'm talking about half the time. Of course, maybe that's my subconcious goal, to be different. Who can say?

I'm extrastitious!

Now listening to: Fu Manchu

Let my weekend begin! Three days off and I intend to maximize my slackness, paying attention only to football, my pillow and possibly beer. We'll see if that works out for me. I actually need to pay a bunch of bills and do some other little crap. It's always something.

I'm currently reading George Plimpton's Paper Lion, which is about him going and playing with the Detroit Lions during their training camp in the 60s. It's the type of thing that probably would never happen today, but it helped boost the popularity of the NFL at that time. It's really good, honestly. Plimpton, who was a member of the educated elite possessing a snooty sounding New England accent, somehow found a way to fit in on the rough and tumble team and it makes for some good stories. Especially his conversation with Night Train Lane on how to play cornerback. That's pure gold.

The Surly Caribou's 101 point lead was enough to hold Danny's Dizzle Bolts off and rack up a win. Next up is Adam's Vendetta squad. Gonna be tougher, especially considering that my guy's matchups aren't as favorable this week overall. Caribou!!!

the other side

So I was trying to find some sports talk on my drive home this morning (because watchng Sportscenter three times last night just wasn't enough for me.) and all I could get was chatter about it being the five year anniversary of Sept. 11. I'm not really sure what to say about it. It's a turning point in history, certainly, akin to Pearl Harbor.

What kind of annoys me, though, is most Americans' inability to recognize that we may have done some things to provoke that type of action. Good ol' America was just sitting on it's hands, being righteous, when evil Islamics crashed planes into us. Never mind when we shoot missiles into villages or meddle in the affairs of a sovereign nation to get what we want, that's "For Democracy" and the good of man... well American men, who are white and wealthy. We are every bit as ruthless and brutal and if you don't believe me ask the people of Hiroshima.

Before Adam has a coronary let me assure you I'm not siding with the terrorists. Those guys are batshit crazy. But there are two sides to every story and the U.S. never perceives that. Shades of gray go unnoticed because the terrorists "Hate our Freedom."

On a much lighter note, my Surly Caribou are currently leading the scoring in the Lucky Breaks league, with only a few players left to play. Mike or Kevin could potentially outscore me (and maybe Danny if the planets align and the Redskins put on an offensive showing never before seen while the defense batters the Vikings back to Norway) but it looks like my team is running hot. Ohh and for the record I'm leading the scoring with none of my receivers or running backs scoring a touchdown.

And so it begins...

Now listening to: Thom Yorke - The Eraser

The NFL season is officially underway and the Steelers looked pretty amazing even without Big Ben. I trekked to Roanoke to meet Adam and watch the game. (Because my day isn't complete without two hours on the road.) We had a good time watching Blitzburgh smack Daunte Culpepper around and scoping the women. Man, hot girls everywhere... Football and hot women, my testosterone levels reached a new high I think.

The best part (aside from Joey Porter's interception and Heath Miller's TD reception) was watching this drunk chick drool all over Adam. She was tore. I went to the bathroom and apparently Adam told her to "Bug off!" which amuses me. Who says bug off? Anyway she fell out of her chair and then fell down again before she was escorted out. Good times.

Encased in stone

Now listening to: Celtic Frost

So my weekend is here at last and I'm in desperate need of a break. I think my schedule is gonna lighten up some now, but I'm not 100-percent sure of that. I did "train" one of the production guys tonight so he can cover for us. That basically meant showing him how to do the log and doing absolutely fuck all after that. The night went by sooooo slooooow. It was awful.

Hmmm, what else do I have to cover here? Not much. Outside of work I've not done a lot. The cool rainy weather also plays it's role by making me want to sleep nonstop. It's sooo hard to get out of bed now. At least football starts Thursday night, I'm so freaking ready to get this going it's unbelievable. Part of that eagerness is just to give the talking heads on tv something real to analyze and not have it be total conjecture. I mean they'll still be talking out of their asses a lot, but at least it will be about something that happened and not something that could possibly happen if all the events pan out.

Still no sign of my phantom commentor. Alas.

I shall be free

I'm tired, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Work blows, especially when there is so much of it. Also the fact that Ben Roethlisberger is sidelined once again has worked me into a state of annoyance. The man survives a potentially fatal motorcycle accident and is back to work on time and looking sharp. Then comes along a rogue appendix and sidelines him for at least the season opener. Can he catch a break? I'm betting it was an evil Dolphins fan who knew they didn't have a chance of winning against a fully operational Steelers squad.

Moving away from football talk (which is getting harder as the season grows closer and my obsession reaches its peak before culmination... that sounds a lot dirtier than it should), my drive home this morning was less than fun. Once again a reckless mail truck blew by me halfway home. This is a regular thing on Mondays now, but it was made worse by the fact that it was pouring down rain at the time. Nothing like an early morning drive through a torrential downpour with a two ton truck pushing you down the road.

What else do I have to cover? Hmmm... ohh yeah, I LOVE being a cell phone owner. It's just awesome. Really the phone part is the least of it, especially since I'm pathetic and not many people call me. But yeah, between the internet (which I did ultimately sign up for), the games and the clock it's perfect. I'm gonna have to research which cell phone games are worth getting, but so far Lumines is awesome. It's like Tetris for the 21st century.

In heaven everything is fine

The trouble is, there is no heaven.

Anyway it's been a long night. My "weekend" left me unsatisfactorily relaxed and so work tonight was torture. I showed up not wanting to be there and it was downhill from there. Twice one of the Fox broadcasts dropped and I had to call an engineer. As you can imagine, he was unthrilled to make the trek to the tower on his weekend... particularly the second time around at 2 a.m. But what the hell can I do?

Anyway it's over now and I can go get some rest. On the up side, at least it feels like fall now. I think it may warm up today (boo), but the chill was in the air yesterday and this morning. Fall is when things get back to how they should be, the kids in school, football on tv and my fall wardrobe concealing far more than my summer one... not that it really matters I suppose.

Last night I watched The 400 Blows, which is Francois Truffant's first movie and ushered in the French New Wave way back in 1959. It was good, most movies I've seen from that period are so plodding and slow as to be nearly unwatchable. Not this one. It keeps your attention, even without being a slave to narrative. I intend to explore more of this New Wave and see how it goes, so I can become ever more pretentious.

Chug, Chug, Chug!

In further efforts to get out of my head, I joined Trip for dinner and a movie. Yes, Trip is the best date I can get... and he won't even put out. But we went to see Beerfest, which was awesome. I'm a big Broken Lizard fan anyway, but Beerfest is truly magnificent. It's a sports movie about drinking beer! It combines two great genres in one sidesplitting package. I had to buy beer after the movie on principal alone. It was a tasty filet mignon and I intend to have another helping when it comes out on DVD.

Afterward we watched the season finale of Deadwood, which was just ok. It seemed like not much happened. This whole season has seemed to be building up to some big clash, but that didn't happen. Just a fizzle really. I'm hoping the method they choose to finish the story doesn't suck. Two movies may be ok, but I don't want to have to wait too long between them. I wish they'd just do a season 4 and stop fucking it up for the rest of us, cocksuckers.

I watched Crash last night and there is a movie where the characters are not one dimensional. Everyone in there is a whole mess of good, bad and everything in between. It's a good portrayal of racism in our culture and really makes you realize how fucked up we all are. Also Don Cheadle may be the best living American actor. It's between him and Paul Giamatti at this point. I'm sure someone is gonna say Pacino or Deniro and yes they deserve a mention, but Deniro has lost something with the who Analyze This thing... Pacino I can't really rip on... I suppose I should give these guys the same leeway I gave Brando, but I don't think I will, cause Brando was the king. I'm sure there are others that could be argued, but why bother?

Fecaltastic Four

I watched Fantastic Four last night. I knew it wasn't going to be good, but bleh. They did do a good job with the Thing. Michael Chiklis was good and seemed to nail the character. It was the rest of the movie that sucked so hard it created a black hole. I mean bad dialogue, hackneyed Hollywood action that had little to do with anything. Horrible.

On top of all that they made one of my favorite villians of all time suck. Dr. Doom was absotively abyssmal. No excuse for making him so lame and, for some reason, making him in on the same accident that turned the Four fantastic. It was all mudbutt to me. Just a prime example of what happens when you let people with no knowledge of the source material have final say over a movie.

Pushing it down

While my depression rages on, I'm going to make an effort to get back to my normal numb feeling by escapism. The topic? Fantasy football. Those bored with it should stop reading now.

Anyway it was a bit of a stunner today when I found out that not one, but both of the Jaguars on my roster are injured. Greg Jones, out for the season. Mike Peterson is out for a while and not likely to come back for the first game of the season. Stunner. These injuries have shaken my confidence somewhat after a solid draft. I'm still looking sharp, but it drives home the point that one bad play and a major player can be gone. I'm currently hoping those major players are Larry Johnson and LaDainian Tomlinson. Both those guys go down and I'm gonna crush the league, of course, they won't and my little Tiki will. It's the law of the west.

I'm hoping some of that is offset by Donte Stallworth being traded to the Eagles. He could be their top receiver there and rack up some major yardage. He had a solid season last year as a Saint and the Eagles tend to throw the ball more. We'll see.

hope is suffering

Yesterday was good and bad. I'll start with the good so I can dwell on the bad.

Gabe, Kelly and Cameron came in for a visit and that was cool. I finally got to meet my nephew and he was adorable, all smiles. It was fun watching him run around and play and possibly more fun watching my Mom laugh while she watched him play. I also got to talk to Gabe some, which is good, although I was in a bit of a haze having only slept for two hours. Still it was a pleasant visit.

On to where it all went wrong. It all started a week or so ago when I got an anonymous comment here from some secret admirer. I assumed it was this girl I work with (as she is really the only single woman I deal with regularly these days). This proved to be a false assumption and I'm now in the post-rejection despair. There are two facets to that: a) I've been judged not dateable... again and b) I now have to deal with at work who shot me down. I honestly don't hold it against her, she's nice and she was nice about it, but that doesn't stop me from being bitter and having to fight off my own self-loathing whenever I talk to her.

There is also the fact that I don't know who left the comment, no idea really. With my current level of negativity I'm thinking maybe it was some cruel prank made to shatter my already beleaguered self-confidence. If that's not the case, I hope whoever wrote it would shoot me an email. I could really use the ego boost.

Having laid myself bare with this post I shall now skulk off to bed and try to avoid thinking about how I'm going to never find love.

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Went to Trip's tonight and we watched V for Vendetta, which was pretty good. I'd rate it a foot massage all told, although I really did like the imagery/artwork and the inherent message. It just got kinda slow at times and that kept it from being higher.

I remember hearing about it having some anti-American sentiment or something. I think maybe Adam mentioned that it was an attack on the Bush administration or Republicans in general, I may misremember, but he seems the most likely culprit. I think you could only say it was an attack on Republicans if you see them as fascists trying to grab power through fearmongering and rousing the public with supposed foes of the community (a la the gay community, etc.). I do happen to see them that way and don't think the movie was about them in particular. I think it was more about the perils of letting fear make your decisions for you and that giving away your freedom for supposed safety is a horrible exchange.

The title line is also significant for me because my mother's birthday does fall on Guy Fawkes day, with mine immediately following. (My maternal grandma's is on the fourth of November, so we make a nice package deal.)

I talk about fantasy football a lot

So now the 2006 Techmo Lucky Breaks league draft is in the books. I feel pretty good about my squad overall. There were a couple of times someone snagged the guy I wanted right before my pick, but it wasn't too bad. A couple of rookies in the house made it better, of course I wish I had of drafted beside those guys instead of right between Nick and Cal. Oddly, I didn't take a single Steeler. I was gonna get Hines Ward, but Nick nabbed him. I will now do some quick analysis.

My preseason ratings, post draft, are:

1. Dallas Danglers
2. Team Vipperman
3. Surly Caribou
4. The Vendetta
5. Warchant
6. Heaven's Own
7. Hudson Street Hellraisers
8. St. Nick Kringles
9. The Fighting Fins
10. Dizzles Bolts

Draft winners: I'd say the guy who ended up with the top squad of the night was Mike. His team is pretty solid top to bottom. It sucks, cause I don't think I could live with his smarminess if he won. Nick fielded another solid team and looks to be dangerous again (although I doubt he dominates like he did for most of last season). Also Kevin showed some solid knowledge in his rookie outing.

Draft losers: I hate to say it, but my boy Danny showed his inexperience. His running backs are patchwork at best. The Fighting Fins couldn't make it and an automated draft is suspect even if you shift the ratings around. Also the St. Nick Kringles, which is Nick's stepdad's team, looks a little shaky at RB.

I tried to be unbiased for these ratings, but I certainly have my own motivations. I should note that teams 3, 4 and 5 could easily be rearranged and still be reasonable. I just put myself on top because it's my fucking rating and I get to do what I want.

Let the games begin!

Can I play with madness?

So another work week in the books. I'm taking tomorrow off for my draft. It's gonna be fun. I met up with Adam again at IHOP and we had some last minute discussions about it. Well football and other things, we both just like hanging out. It's gonna suck when I move to Roanoke and he moves away almost immediately. Ahh well...

In my effort to find metal I like I have went with a nostalgia pick and started listening to Iron Maiden. They aren't the black, death, evil metal I was looking for, but damn are they good. Their rhythm section just drops a thunderous groove I can't deny. Plus their lyrics are actually fairly well informed and interesting. I mean how can you not love a song about World War II pilots or dueling with swords in the 19th century. It plays on my love of history.

I started reading this book Writing Down the Bones, that's about how to make yourself into a better writer. It started by telling me some things I already knew, but don't put into use enough. Plus it has some really cool advice. It's written by this woman who clearly has some hippie background. She quotes Zen masters and the like. It's about living in the moment, opening yourself up to writing what you know and not letting an internal editor rule your life. All advice I could use.

Still I'm leary of all things hippie... but D. Boone and Mike Watt said some similar things in the Minutemen documentary I watched recently, so I'm taking it as bohemian punk advice.

Every step an adventure

Man I dropped a shit ton of cash today (that's more than a regular ton, but less than a metric shit ton). The thing is I didn't get anything I didn't pretty much have to have. Well, ok I bought two pairs of shoes when I coulda only gotten one, but it was buy one, get one half off and so I bought some Nikes (which looked better in the store, but screw it they are fine) and some Vans.

This was after I had dropped a cool $30 on an oil change. Yeah, I'm officially changing the place I take my Jeep to after that. I tried to support the small local business, but damn. Thirty is a lot to spend on a friggin oil change. I then got a haircut and snagged my sneaks.

I then proceeded to Trip's pad and we got Japanese, mmm tasty. We watched Deadwood (always a pleasure) and goofed off. I predict that his Tifaux (that's like Tivo, but different) will explode this weekend taking out his DVD player with it. It's not that I wish him ill, it's just that all his electronics seem to be dying of late. It started with his computer a few months ago and then moved into his big screen tv (which he hasn't had for over a month now). Then this week his XBox 360 dies and he's gotta get it repaired. I think his house has been infested by some sort of anti-electronics demon. We may have to have do something about that. I need a young priest and an old priest.

The draft order for fantasy football came out yesterday and I pick fourth. Not a bad spot, but not one I really figured I'd have. I was hoping to either pick second or third or somewhere around seven or eight. I'm kinda torn, I know who the safe pick is, but I'm considering reaching down for potential... hard to say. I may just free wheel the draft and go with my gut. Still need to do some research beforehand and have the up to the second injury report. Ya know, I may care about this waaaaay too much. Naaahhh.

I prefer Nobody

So I just watched Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man. I watched it way back when it came out in 1996 and remember enjoying it, but man I don't remember it being that good. Pretty fucking amazing. Johnny Depp is awesome, as usual. Jarmusch uses great scenery and some really great concepts, I mean great storytelling without having to spoon feed every detail to the audience.

Ohhh and the thing that pushed it into the truly wondrous was Neil Young's soundtrack. Oh man, just Neil and a guitar, plodding, hinting, casting dense rays of emotion. It created an atmosphere that pulled you in and made you feel what was going on. I'm saying this is pure filet mignon, although I admit it's not for everyone. Hell whenever I say it's Jim Jarmusch's you know it's not an easy movie.

In other news, it's my weekend! I have a couple of days of not work to enjoy, although I have a bunch of crap I need to do. Haircut, oil change, find shoes, study fantasy football drafts, etc. I pick fourth in the draft, so I gotta plan a strategy for that spot. It all goes down on Tuesday.

Ohh, and I hooked up with Adam tonight for some late evening IHOP action. Kinda regreted the food tho, it coulda been better. Was cool to hang out, basically we talked football. We both are like freakin school kids.

Believe what I tell you to believe

So I've just completed my 48th hour of work in four days. Fun stuff that. As you might imagine I'm a little tired, not having had a moment to myself. But hey, at least I don't have to work a full 12 hours tonight. I may get away with as little as six, although I may stretch that out a bit to make more overtime. We'll see.

So yeah, I'm feeling a bit depressed of late, I can't decide if it's because I'm genuinely bothered by something or if this is just residual overwork depression. Doesn't really matter, I suppose, I'm down either way.

You know it's odd, when I end up working these absurd hours at work, I end up doing tons of crap I probably could get away with not doing, because I'm doing all this overtime. Still the late night hours get long and I'm just looking for something to keep me occupied. Tonight I did a ton of crap while watching Headbanger's Ball on MTV2. I've been trying to broaden my metal horizons, but am having trouble finding bands I actually enjoy. So I continue to dig through mountains of aural assault until I find that soothing bark,thunderous bass and wailing guitar I am looking for.

Ohhh, in case you live in a cave, football season is about to blossom before our very eyes. There were preseason games on all weekend and a Monday Night offering last night, which I flipped on a bit. It's awesome to see football on, but it's hard to care about the preseason. I swear every time I flipped onto a game this weekend it was to see a punt. Not too inspiring.

Still we are now T-Minus 7 days and counting until my fantasy football draft. Should find out the draft order tonight so I can start planning my strategy. Here's some draft tips for everyone in my league: You should definitely go kicker, defense, kicker in the first three rounds.

Ignore me!

Ahhh the sweet release of a day off. I slept in and then proceeded to be on the phone for most of the evening. Had to make sure Corb was still down with dinner, talk to Trip, tried to call Danny and even managed to contact my brother. So heavy on the old calling. Sadly Gabe is unable to partake of our fantasy football offering, but I at least made the effort.

I did manage to get Corb to come to dinner, although it was a truncated interaction. We had dinner at Clarence's. (I let it happen, I knew it was going to be bad, but I still let it happen.) The Corb trundled off, back into his world of lippy pubescents and clueless teachers to bully.

Trip and I then trekked to Danville so he could pick up his copy of Dead Rising (a wonderfully whimsical game about killing zombies in a mall, gotta love an homage to George Romero). We got that, I talked myself away from the 3 DVDs for $10 rack and we stopped for some ice cream. We then headed back, played a tad of Dead Rising and watched Deadwood.

You know, this season of Deadwood has been less action packed than in the past. Aside from Dan's streetfight it's been pretty much a quasi political affair. Well, aside from the odd impromptu punch to someone's face. What makes it still riveting, even in light of the relative lack of action, is the growth of the characters and their interaction with one another. There is some serious depth there.

Twelve+two+eight=my life

So I've been working my ass off this past week. Tomorrow will be my seventh consecutive work day, but fortunately I get a couple of days off after that. Got a nice dinner with Corb and Trip planned, so that's something to I can look forward to this week. Of course, after that break I go right back into a 36 hour weekend. Hell tonight I feel like I got in super early, even tho it was like 1:30 a.m., but it's much better than 7 a.m.

Not a lot besides work going on. I started reading Tolstoi's War and Peace, basically so I can lord it over people that I am well read, but it is slow going. I'm like 70 pages in and having a hard time getting my footing in the novel, if you will.

I'm about to go overbudget for the week, which annoys me, but there are circumstances beyond my control. The first being my computer repair and the second being expanded gas use because of working an extra three days. I suppose this will even out once I get my fatty check on Friday, but I'd rather not be dipping into my bill money. I'm making every effort at fiscal responsibility and hate even the notion of backsliding at this juncture.

watching tv so hard it hurts

There was a point this week, where I was thinking that I wasn't going to get any overtime on my next check. That worry has more than been put to rest. I will end up with only one day off this week and a metric asston of overtime. They fired a dude (who I thought should have been fired a month ago, but noone asks me) and I'm picking up the slack... well at least part of the slack.

I worked my Wednesday and Thursday and will be working 12 hour shifts for the next three days. Then I get to work around 9 hour shifts on Monday and Tuesday. Woohoo. I'll be making the fat cash if I can stay awake on my drive home. I'm now trying to stay up until 6a.m. so I can get a little prepared for the long nights ahead.

Ohh also I got my computer back and it's running. I'm trying to restore it to it's former glory, but I gotta resign in everywhere and try and remember which websites I frequent. Also my mp3 list went from 15 gigs or so to zero. So I gotta figure out what to do about that. And all my email addresses are gone. Some are easy, cause I got em on my gmail account, but some I'm just gonna have to wait to mail me so I can get it. It's gonna suck. Ohh and all the times where I actually wrote something creative... yeah that was wasted cause it's all gone. I gotta learn to back that shit up somewhere.

I need more cowbell

Well I took my computer into the most crumby looking computer shop ever today, but the guy seemed to know what he was doing. Sadly, what he seemed to know was that my hard drive was fucked up, with potential for my motherboard to be fried. So best case scenario I lose everything I had on the laptop, but it will still work. Worst case, it's shot and I need a new computer altogether.

These revelations cast a pall over my shoe shopping this evening, not that I found anything that was comfortable, attractive and in my price range. Maybe I'm a cheap bastard but I don't wanna pay $40 for a pair of Chuck Taylor's and I don't wanna pay $100 for a pair of sweat shop-made cross trainers. After I find out if I need a new computer I may be postponing my new shoe quest for a bit.

I am now working on my old Imac, which is sooooo fucking slow. There was a time when I loved this computer and it still holds a certain nostalgia factor, but man is it outdated now.

Ohhh the goat!!!

It's been a busy weekend. Let me begin by complaining that my laptop hard drive seems to have died. I'm writing this from my old Imac and it's very slow. Still I wouldn't want to withhold my faithful reader(s?) from my erstwhile ramblings. I reactivated my Netflix account, so I go movies flowing in now to hold my attention. I also have told my WoW account to stop renewing for the time being, so once my last month is up, I'm gonna let it slide for a while. I'll probably go back when the expansion comes out, but til then I'm kinda bored.

Anyway, Let me diagram my Saturday for you. I rose around 1 p.m. and moved to the couch to watch Jim Jarmusch's Broken Flowers. It was pretty good, if you like Jarmusch. Bill Murray is really exceptional in these minimalist films because he can convey so much with just a turn of his head or by moving his eyes. He makes you understand what is taking place in his character's mind. ...back to my day... I finished that, drove to work and was there for almost 10 hours.

While there I read Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle in its entireity. It was good, but he's got a real dark sense of humor, which I appreciate. Still any book that kills off the entire human race (and probably most of the animal and plant kingdoms as well) is a tad darker than what I deal with in the regular. Hell, he puts Palahniuk to shame, maybe close to rivaling Lovecraft from a perspective of basic carnage. Well the creator of the Elder Gods is hard to rival, there was probably less suffering a la Vonnegut and no blind idiot god. But once again I have derailed.

After finishing Cat's Cradle I went to The Know It All, which is about a guy reading the Encyclopedia Britannica. It's ok, a little dry in places, but not bad. I'm still whittling it down. After I finally was able to leave work and drive home I goofed off on the internet until around 6 a.m. How's that for a full day?

Ohh I also watched Waiting, with Ryan Reynolds and it was entertaining, lotsa dick jokes which I enjoy. Luis Guzman is the man. Why isn't he in more movies? OK I'm beat and going to read for a minute before I sleep. I had other crap to talk about, but I'm drifting too much to get to it, plus this thing is too long as it is.

Societal pressure

Trip and I made our way to Greensboro yesterday and stomped through a high percentage of the shoe stores down there. He ended up buying a pair of Chuck Taylors that were on sale and I found nothing to suit my needs. Shoes are a pain in the ass to find. Either they are absurdly pricey (I'm not paying more than $60 for a pair of sneakers, call me old-fashioned), horribly ugly, they don't have my size or they don't fit right when I try them on. It's a pain in the ass.

Also I suppose my self-esteem was getting too high and I had to bring it down by shopping for clothes. Nothing more humbling that being a fat guy looking for something to wear. Go to a store like Eddie Bauer and try to find something that fits. Yeah, good luck, might get a pair of socks.

So after feeling like a human freak show you head out to the Big and Tall store to shop with those other less than normal folks. Pop in there and they have your size, but there are still issues. One: half the crap has either no idea how to tone down the fact you're a fat guy or directly emphasises that you are a fat guy. Two: the stuff there that is moderately stylish and of decent quality is priced so high as to be absurd. The only things I saw that were priced even remotely reasonably were on the 50% off bargin rack.

I did manage to spend some money, tho. I bought a coupla new shirts which I like. I need some new t-shirts too, but I may resort to the internets for those.

You need different feathers if you're going to fly

Yay my weekend is here! Woo three whole days to do nothing. Actually I'm considering trying to break my usual mold, but I'm not gonna get too overzealous. I need to not spend a ton. I have some extra cash from all the overtime I've worked, but it'd probably be best not to fritter it all away if I can help it. Still I do need new shoes... and a cell phone... and an Ipod. Fine the Ipod is probably not the top of the list realistically, but I sure would like one.

I'm probably gonna end up doing some shoe shopping at some point, cause my sneaks look like ass. I also may try to do some reading and some writing. Heck I may try to do some of that stuff outside, as I need to try to even out my trucker tan a little bit.

I'm also considering joining a gym, but I'm not sure that would be money well spent at this time. I mean I definitely need to be in the gym, but I'm not sure if I have the time, or rather if I will use the time I have to go to a gym. It's quite a difficult question.

Also have you noticed that NFL training camps are firing up? We are on the cusp of the season and ESPN is starting to give me the programming I want. Huzzah! We want a repeat! Woooo, we need a ring on the other hand now in Pittsburgh.

Unhappy, just as you were

Well I made it home. It was a grueling drive home, but I'm here. I'm just beat for some reason. My eyes felt all dried out and didn't want to open when I blinked. Work seemed to be going at half speed. I did use the time wisely tho, finishing Reading Lolita in Tehran and getting through a lot of Stranger Than Fiction as well.

Reading Lolita was really good. I've talked with friends in the past about having no idea how Islamic women survive. This book gave me an idea of what goes through some of their minds. I still can't claim to understand them completely, but then I really don't get the whole faith thing. That separates me from a far greater group than just Muslims. Still this book was inspirational and made me want to study more literature. I'd say it's filet mignon.

Driving home I was listening to Jane's Addiction's Ritual de lo Habitual album and it's still awesome. It's one of my all time favs. I have so many memories wrapped up in that album. My fav. song is Then She Did, which seems to me to be Perry Farrell remembering his mother and a lover that died. He paints a vivid picture in my head with his voice: nostalgic, loving and a little sad that they are gone. It is captivating.

only in a world this shitty

I'm kind of bored, listening to mediocre industrial music and debating between actually writing something and just futzing around on the internet for a while. Or maybe I'll do some reading. I dunno, I think I may try to write, that's why I'm here actually. So I can get past all the bullshit that normally crosses my mind when I sit down to write. So if I write something fantastic tonight this blog will be the equivalent of a singer hawking up a loogie before going onstage to perform. Woo, now that's painting pictures with writing there.

Anyway it was a slow day for me: lounged, read some fantasy football sites, played a litte Warcraft. I do have to mention that my love affair with WoW may be fading as I am approaching boredom whenever I log on. Too much of a good thing I suppose.

Trip and I grabbed dinner and then goofed off at his place for a bit. We played the demo for the new college football game and he beat me twice!?! His "chuck the ball deep" strategy offset his not knowing what an option play meant. I also played through the tutorial for The Battle for Middle Earth II on his XBox 360 and it wasn't bad. I don't know that I would really get into it, but as far as console RTS games go, it's decent.

Hmm the industrial music I'm listening to now, Funker Vogt, is much better. I've been finding some good music lately. Destroyer may be my favorite of those, tho. Anyway I'm off to do something, still not sure what.

Eighty degrees and I'm shivering?

Last night when I said I was cold, yeah, that turned out to mean I had a raging fever. I went into my (unairconditioned) room and got under my comforter and continued to shiver for most of the night. It was unpleasant. I have no idea what caused it and none of the other usual symptoms of a cold or whatnot showed up i.e. sore throat, upset stomach, etc. And today I have a minor ache in my back, but seem to have recovered.

Tell your gods to ready for blood

I'm feeling tired, but I can't go to sleep because I have to maintain my late night schedule. Don't want to be nodding off when I drive home at night, ya know. I thought I caught up on some sleep today, but apparently it wasn't enough.

I arose early (for me) yesterday because Mike and Shannon were in town and so I hooked up with them and we met Adam and Rachel in Roanoke for lunch, which was cool. I enjoyed myself, although I couldn't help but notice as we roamed the city streets that it was couple, couple and fat guy fifth wheel. I gotta do something about that, but I'm not really sure what.

Anyway on to other less depressing topics. Trip and I partook of some tasty seafood tonight and watched Deadwood. I know I talk about how great it is almost every week, but it really is that good. We also watched the Venture Bros., which I don't fear mentioning in the same breath as Deadwood. That's how good I think that show is, despite its animated nature.

I'm now reading Palahniuk's Stranger than Fiction and it's interesting. He knows where to go to find odd moments and knows how to make them work. His forward made me want to start writing more. By more I mean at all.

Oddly, I'm feeling cold. The AC isn't that low and I find it most peculiar.

The "liberal media" is a farce created by rightwing nutjobs

Well I continue to work loads and, as such, my blogging as suffered. I also spent my days off this week hanging out with Adam up in Roanoke. We had a good time talking fantasy football and arguing politics. I could ramble on about our disputes, but I shan't. Frankly I'm tired and the differences don't mean a lot, we're good friends despite is fascistic tendencies. (Heh.)

We saw the Pirates of the Carribean sequel, which was a fun movie. The action went a little over the top a coupla times, but it was all good fun. I was kinda bummed by the cliffhanger ending, guaranteeing a trilogy at the least, but I suppose I can stand to see a third one of those.

Japanese food calls out to me

Hmm what to tell and what to edit out... I'll start with Trip and my excursion to Roanoke on Thursday. It was ok, although Trip had been up on Tuesday with Kev and so shopping was a little strained as he was bored easily. I looked for a pay as you go cell phone option and was dissappointed with what I found. We ended the trip by having some dinner with Kevin, Courtney and Eve at a nice Japanese restaurant. I got too much tempura and won't make that mistake again, but it was nice. Eve was a little overactive, but she's two... that's how two-year-olds are, or so I'm told.

Trip and I grabbed some ice cream and then drove home and I crashed immediately, catching up on lots of lost sleep. Something I sorely needed to do. Since then I've worked mostly, with little else to report, other than my Jeep's rise from the dead and return to my driveway.

Well, actually today I did buy a new book, The Prose Edda as translated by Snorri Sturlson. It's Norse mythology, which I love. I bought it while killing time before work. I then picked up some Yakisoba and headed to work, where I read most of Jonathan Lethem's Fortress of Solitude. It's got amazing depth. It's about a white kid's youth in Brooklyn, growing up in a black neighborhood. I can relate to some of it, having been a white kid in a predominantly black area. Of course, Martinsville isn't Brooklyn by any stretch of the imagination, but there are still similarities.

Anyway my eyes grow heavy with the passing minutes and it's time for me to commune with my pillow.

The rockets red glare, the bombs bursting under the hood

Well it was a wonderful holiday for me. I had to work, so I roused myself and set forth at the appropriate time. I did have to make a pitstop when my water pump fell off my engine and a pulley flew out from under my Jeep in the Bassett Forks area. Yeah... that's a good time.

I had to call my folks, have them pick me up and then drive mom's car to work... late, of course. I then worked 11 hours and drove home to collapse. How's that for festive? I'm hoping the good part comes when I don't have to pay for the repairs since the engine was still under warrenty and those bastards are the ones who reattached the aforementioned water pump improperly.

I hope everyone else's Independence Day experience was less stressful than mine.

Haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head

I, my friends, am tired. I have been working a ton and get to pull an overnight tonight. So Happy Fourth of July to me. I suppose it coulda been worse, I was going to have to do overnights all week, but that changed, thankfully.

The upside is, besides making overtime money, that I've been able to get a lot of reading done at work. I read Michael Chabon's Wonder Boys and it was really good. I'd seen the movie, but as usual the book was better. Chabon's got some nice technique. I'm sure people will be writing thesis papers about the symbolism of the tuba and Hannah Green's boots for years to come. I'd say this was a foot massage, with potential to move up after I've had time to reflect.

I also read two Augusten Burrough's books, Magical Thinking and Possible Side Effects. His stuff is incredibly funny. He has a great flair for picking the weird things in his life and making you laugh about them. I think I prefered Magical Thinking overall, but both were worth checking out.

I also got the new Mission of Burma album, The Obliterati, which is quite enjoyable for the knowledgable punk fan. The title of this post is stolen from the chorus of one of thier new songs.

Never was there a more feared grazing animal

I would like to unveil the name and logo of next season's Lucky Breaks League fantasy football champion, The Surly Caribou!

St. Elsewhere

Man I'm kinda beat. All this rain makes me wanna just sleep and, honestly, I haven't been doing a whole lot of it. I get a couple of days off now tho, at least. Of course, when I head back in on Friday it's gonna be for an 11 day stretch, with three of those being overnights. I'm probably gonna need to get a hotel room for those days... although, of course, those are right during the holiday. I imagine I'm gonna be completely beat.

Last night was a pain. All the flooding meant Emergency annoucements went out constantly and I just didn't wanna be there. I had this internal scream going all night long. That's where I'm acting normal, talking to people normally, etc., but inside all I can think is this scream that I want to leave. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Anyway, I'm hoping to watch some Deadwood tonight and the UFC thingie on Spike tomorrow. There may also be sushi in my future.

Ohhh, a Jeep update: a starter for a '95 Jeep Wrangler is roughly the size of my fist, but it costs an arm and leg. Thank you.

Suffering outweighs joy

Yesterday I arose fairly early (for me), showered, fixed my lunch and generally steeled myself for the workday. I managed to make it to the Jeep with all the things I need to carry with me (cd player, my aforementioned lunch, book, etc.) and head to work in a timely fashion. Sadly it was not to be, as my starter went from sounding bad the night before to completely dead.

So I tried to scramble to find a ride to work, calling my mom who was out shopping with Grandma. Of course, it took forever to get her and she was in Danville. By the time she got home and I drove to work in Roanoke I was three hours late, so that's fun. Ohh did I mention on the drive up there was a torrential downpour for like 3/4s of the ride? Oh yeah, it was fun.

Nacho Muerte

Saw Nacho Libre last night... it was bad, very bad. I was shocked with the badness. It tried to be quirky, but never got you involved. It tried to be funny, but never landed more than a minor chuckle. I'm sorry a guy with a Mexican accent is not a basis for an full length comedy. Even the wrestling matches were dull. I'm saying mudbutt.

After watching that turd, Trip and I at least could get the taste of it out of our mouths with the deliciousness of Deadwood. Al Swearengen, you are a tasty treat. I can hardly wait for next week's episode where he has to get even with Hearst.

I'm actually looking forward to working this weekend because there are such good things on tv. Saturday the Ultimate Fighter 3 finale is on Spike. Also a new episode of the Venture Bros. drops on the Cartoon Network. It may take the sting out of work.

Win or lose, what's the difference?

Today had it all: a trip to the bookstore where I bought no books, a trip to the grocery store where I bought too much crap, work, reading and I was pulled by a cop just before making it home. Fun huh.

The cop thing was really no big deal, I have a headlight out. Which sucks since I replaced both lights like 3 months ago...maybe a little longer. It was odd since the drive home tonight seemed really uneventful up to that moment. He did the cop thing where he rode right up on my bumper for a while to see if I would speed, but only cops do that so I always slow down. But now I get to replace a headlight... it's always something.

I read Nick Hornby's The Polysyllabic Spree, which was alright (+1 chainmail all told). It's a collection of columns he wrote about his book buying and his book reading over the course of a year essentially. It had some cool moments, but his reading habits and mine are completely different i.e. he reads a lot less tripe. Well, he reads a different kind of tripe. I tend toward escapist fiction and he seems to mix in a lot of classics and literary biographies. Both really kind of marginalize who you can talk to about em, but it seems a lot cooler when you don't have a big dragon on the cover of your book.

Sushi and science

It's been a good weekend for me. Watched Deadwood again Tuesday, cause you can't ever see it too much. Wednesday I spent the entire day playing WoW and watching the Venture Brothers. Man you gotta see that show, it's incredibly awesome. The new season comes on the 25th and I can't wait. It's hard to describe why it's good. It's well written, the voice acting is great and it just sideswipes you with these great lines. Ok, it's not so hard to describe why it's so good.

Today Trip and I snagged some sweet, sweet sushi. I even managed to regulate my order so I didn't feel bloated when we left. Of course, we stopped for ice cream twice after that (at my behest). I wanted that mini-banana split I'd seen advertised by Sonic. Yeah... it's really mini.

After we got back to Trip's pad, he wanted to take part in some serious scientific research. Yup, we put Mentos in Diet Coke (actually, diet Big K cause it's much cheaper) and tried to get it to liftoff. We had one decent move and lots of aborted attempts. I also pulled something in my shoudler trying to slam a two liter against the ground... There can be no doubt that we're retarded.

I'm listening to this band Destroyer that has kind of a mellow plugged in Dylan sound. It's quite good.

Everyone is trying to bum me out

So yeah, I get to work this afternoon and see the bad news. Ben Roethlisberger, the QB that lead the Steelers to the Super Bowl win last season, has had a motorcycle crash and is in serious condition. Man does that suck. I'm glad the news is that he isn't hurt critically and I they mentioned on ESPN that it's probably only gonna take him out for 7 weeks or so, but man it sucks. That could be the season gone. I wasn't going to predict a repeat or anything crazy, but with Roethlisberger at the helm we can win any game. Without him, that's not really the case. So for both his sake and for the sake of the Steelers I'm hoping he has a speedy recovery.

Anyway, in non-football life things are going... well they are going. That's about it. My work weekend went ok, aside from a motherfucker of a storm on Sunday. I sweated out the last 15-20 minutes or so keeping the power up by strength of will alone. Then I got to drive home in the pouring rain, which was fun. Sheets cascading against the Jeep and making it hard to see. Just before I hit Rocky Mount I pulled off the road as it got especially intense and I couldn't see more than a coupla feet in front of me driving 35mph. It took me a full hour and a half to get home.

On the up side, I did get to see Deadwood, cause it was a free HBO weekend for Cox Cable. Man I love that show and will probably watch it again tomorrow with Trip. Later on I watched Revenge of the Sith or whatever the final Star Wars movie is called. Man is it not good. I hadn't seen it since the theater, where the pretty effects take your mind off how horrible the dialog is, the wooden acting and the plot holes. Yesh.

Ohhh and Saturday, my slack work day, I read most of Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell and it is excellent. She has such an affinity for American history that I can't help but get pulled in by it. I still have a few more pages to finish it, but it's a definite foot massage rating. I need to re-read Take the Cannoli, one of her earlier works.

Also my love affair of the Cure's body of work has been rekindled and I've been listening to loads of their early works incessantly. That means more than just Disintegration on repeat when I get depressed.

Early=surly

So I survived my early morning work meeting. It was tough, but I managed. There were a few harrowing moments on the drive home where I felt consciousness being sapped from me, but I stuck it out. All in all it could have been a 15 minute meeting, but lasted 90 minutes. That's how meetings go though.

There has been a lot of contentious football talk in my comments the last coupla days. You can tell the urge to see some gridiron action is boiling over. I'll almost be sad when the preseason kicks into full gear tho, as it means the Steelers won't be champions anymore, just a 0-0 team looking to get back into the playoffs. Of course, I suppose it's better to be the champs than the chumps (a la every other team).

No we don't want to get high Towely

I received some horrific news Friday evening that has affected me so deeply that I have been physically unable to blog. I found out that I have to come in to work on one of my days off... not only that, nay, even worse. I have to get up early and be in Roanoke by 9 a.m. The horror... the horror.

Yeah, I know it's not really a huge deal, but that sort of thing really just gives me something to dread for days on end. It's part of my personality to see the negative a lot more than any positives. Not a lot else going on really. Just working as per usual and trying not to spend much money. Of course, gas prices are once again on the rise. Love that...

One bright thing that did happen this weekend was that I came home after work and mom had gotten a Pittsburgher friend of her's to get me a Terrible Towel. Not any Terrible Towel either, an official Myron Cope Super Bowl XL commemorative towel. How sweet is that? It definitely brightened my night when I saw that. I'm considering framing it, but I want to wave it at Nick, Adam and Mike once first.