Flagrantly silly

Now listening to: Air (Moon Safari)

Well I closed out one race weekend paper, only one more to go. Tonight went relatively smoothly until the very end, where a couple of mistakes caused everything to slow down. Kinda boned. We did have a siting of our publisher/owner so that was special. He brought some of his rich friends down from Loudon Co. to see the press run. Fuckin tourists. Must be nice to be wealthy and have nothing else to do but watch a newspaper press run.

Anyway I'm now destressing some. Chilling out, reading some blogs and listening to still more Air. I'm looking for some other interesting stuff to download and sample. I think I'm gonna pick up some Tortoise and perhaps some Stereolab. I'm feeling cool electronic ambient thing right now.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

A rhino on a tricycle

A baby eating a grapfruit

High Emperor George Clinton

Cheese attacking your city

Dental floss decapitation

Urine in convenient pellet form

Enjoy.

Frollicking Dirt Child

Now listening to: Air (Talkie Walkie)

This Air album gets better with every listen. It's sooo soothing. I'm kicking back in my chair and enjoying a moment of peace. A nice respite after the annoyance of my neighbors earlier. I was risen by their loud and odious conversation outside. I really don't care if someone paid $50 to get a baby sitter. After I got up they moved back indoors and cranked up the bass-laden music. So nice of them.

Anyway, they've quieted down now and I'm enjoying a couple of quiet moments before work. I expect tonight to suck, a lot. I am carrying my cd player tho, so maybe that will help calm me and keep me from killing someone. Better leave the Ministry at home.

Unfuckwithable

Now listening to: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Well I had a fairly productive day. I put together my laptop desk and cleaned up the living room after all the computer detritus had accumulated from the last coupla weeks. I also got all the trash out of my room, so it was fairly successful.

I also watched Fritz Lang's M, which was excellent. It was surprisingly well paced, especially considering how old a film it is. Peter Lorre is excellent as the killer.

After all that Corb picked me up and we went to Trip's, whose backyard has become neck-laden. This occurs semi-annually and is the price he pays for living a stone's throw from the race track.

We basically played Tiger Woods (Trip won, he was stroking the putts, lucky bastard) and fucked around. Nothing special.

I'm not looking forward to working the rest of the weekend, I've had about enough layout for a coupla weeks. I'm not sure how I'm going to spend the rest of the night. I've just been fucking around on the internet since I got home. I might jump back into A Game of Thrones, which has been pretty cool so far, although I'm still figuring out the characters. I guess that's the price you pay for three book epics.

bad beats all night long

Now listening to: Air (Talkie Walkie)
Now reading: A Game of Thrones (George R.R. Martin)

Tonight was pretty much as I expected, an essay in annoyance. Initially I thought work would turn out to be ok, as I kept focused and designed what I thought was a pretty sharp looking sports page. Of course when I took it to be proofed at 9:30 it had to be remade to put the two racing stories together. Never mind the fact one of them didn't have art and was a stupid quote story. So my pretty page got tossed and moved about until it was unrecognizable. And my editor wonders why I don't go the extra mile on the regular basis. Every time I try to do a good job, someone comes along and fucks it up, so why bother, it's just going to be fucked up anyway.

Anyway, after making it though the night I come home and settle in and try to install some of the games that trip hooked me up with. I installed Halo with little trouble, but when I tried to play online it forces me to download a patch that makes it deny my cd. Bummer. I also tried to install UT2K4 but it won't let me because I don't have an access code. It's like these companies don't want me to steal their software. Damn.

So I gave up on that and played some poker at Partypoker for play money. I learned that I don't know much about pot limit holdem and felt brutalized when my big slick fell to 43 suited. I had two pair, he had the wheel. Brutal.

This air album is very good. Soothing. I recommend it to anyone relaxing with a good book.

Tomorrow I'm debating getting going early and seeing a matinee of kill bill. That way I won't get sold out by trip this weekend, when he invariably goes to see it. I do need to put together my new laptop table tho. I dunno. Maybe I'll wait on the movie until next week.

Nobody hates me more than me

Now listening to: Modest Mouse

Well I'm feeling kinda depressed. All this rain is bringing me down, well that and a few other things. I just feel separate from everything right now. I'm caught in a circle where I live for the weekends and those aren't that interesting really.

Couple that with the fact that I don't really get a weekend this week and I'm pretty fucking glum. I'm only off Friday and I know that's gonna stun me.

Plus I'm thirsty and need something to drink. And so on and so on... I think listening to Elliot Smith earlier also brought me down. He's kind of depressive.

I've been up all night not doing anything in particular, downloading Invader Zim episodes (which are hysterical). I can't get enough of them. Gotta love Gir, although Gaz is my favorite. She's the most antisocial, hence I can relate.

Reality TV killed the American Dream

A lot of people are offended by living a modest life.

America was founded on the belief of bigger and better. So being happy with less is anathema to “The American Dream.”

Of course “The American Dream” has changed. It’s gone from “working harder so your kids will be better off than you” to “I hope I can get find a way to get rich quick or become famous.” The hard-working American has been traded in the quick buck and fast living.

That explains the fascination with reality TV shows and the abundance of frivolous lawsuits, people imagine that they could do that. I could be the girl getting rich for eating boar penis or the guy who sued his job for not putting a safety guard on his stapler.

I can’t say I‘m much better, I’d love to be rich and not worry about it. But I’m not going to sue someone for no reason and I will never be on a reality TV show. Not that I really subscribe to the old American Dream either. I’m not really a hard worker and pretty sure I don’t want kids.

This leaves me with the question of what I want to do with my life. I’m not really sure. I currently float through doing a job that isn’t all that rewarding. It’s best feature is that it is relatively low stress and I can drift through without too much thought.

But sometimes that really feels unfulfilling. I want more and think about moving on and getting a better job, working my way up the ladder. But that seems like far too much effort. I’m not a go-getter. I don’t look for something to do at work when everything is going fine. Why should I? I’m already surrendering my time to make some rich guy richer, why put forth more effort than the minimum? It’s much easier to coast and take my pleasure where I can.

So I cut all the corners I can at work to come home and play video games, watch movies and TV and read a lot. Classical escapism. I get by and try to not be bothered too much.

So there you have it. I’m not living the American Dream. My way is more Buddhist I suspect. Cut out desire and enlightenment will follow.

OK so I still desire plenty of things and can’t claim enlightenment. I want the newest CDs, books, movies and games all the time. I also want a relationship and love and a house to myself, but part of me is scared of those things as well.

Will a relationship change me? Will I be able to get the me time I need on the regular, will I even want it? If I live alone will I become so isolated that I forget how to act around other people? Would I be able to take care of my own domicile or would my slackness let it recede into decrepitude?

Am I somewhat happy or satisfied or just experiencing inertia?

I dunno. But I don’t need a reality TV show or someone telling me to get my ass in gear. I just have to figure it out for myself. I have to decide what my American Dream is.

Fight for your right to use the N word

Now watching: Scarlet Diva

Sometimes I wish I could use the word nigga. I know that will never happen, as it's just too much of an issue. A white guy like me utters the word and an assbeating isnt far off, which is probably merited. But when I see Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock using the term it just seems to fit. White guys don't have a term like that.

I'm not doing a lot today, just fucking off really. I'm watching Scarlett Diva, staring Asia Argento. It's not that great of a movie really, but lots of sex. Still I can't recommend it as it just seems to amble on aimlesly. Not unlike me of late.

I should probably be trying ot write something, I'm feeling fairly verbose at the moment.Which explains this entry and the email I've written today. Maybe part of that is trying to reclaim some of the time I spent laying in bed all day.

I beat my dick like it owes me money

Now listening to: Modest Mouse (Good news for people who love bad news)

I actually had a good night at work. Minimal stress and everything went quickly. Nice. Now I can get on with my slackass weekend. I intend to watch some movies, improve my Tiger Woods game and possibly play some Balder's Gate 2. Very eventful. I'm hoping it rains, because there is nothing better than having nothing to do on a rainy day, but stay in and goof off. I guess it's vindicating.

I have to say that broadband has revolutionized my life. It's so nice being able to go and get exactly what I want immediately. I suppose the whole Windows thing has something to do with it, but I'm giving the credit to broadband. I downloaded bearshare tonight and got some choice songs. Funny how the minute I try to think of something I want, my mind goes totally blank.

This Modest Mouse album is excellent, but of course that is expected from these guys. Consistently awesome stuff from them. I like a lot of the new indie rock stuff that gets raved about, but sometimes it lacks a real human edge. Modest Mouse has that edge.

Note the title of this comes from Chappelle's show, the puppet episode. It's Charlie Murphy singing his fuck it song. Man I love that, I laugh out loud everytime I see it. That's good comedy.

We are consumed by society

Now listening to: Fugazi (13 Songs)

Well I have spent another eventful night fiddling with my new computer. It's so much fun piddling around and finding new stuff I can do. The doors seem wide open with my Windows capability. I have such mixed feelings. On one hand, The Mac operating systems are sooo much easier to use and more intuitive. On the other, the PC has so many more options availiable to it. I can go to almost every site and be sure it will work with minimal effort. If only Mac could regain it's market share to the point where everything was mac compatitble, it would be a perfect world.

Work was busy as fuck tonight. So many callins. I had to do a stupid track call in. Man I hate track, it's the worst. Plus the coach was an annoying douche, who insisted I take the times as well as the winners. That put me behind a half an hour. I ended up sweating deadline (which I rarely do) and it pissed me off. Work blows, I need to be independently wealthy.

I watched Mona Lisa Smile (note new bolding courtesy of PC features not available on the mac) today, wish I hadn't bothered. Aside from the plethora of hot women in the movie, it was quite dull. It so wanted to be a female version of Dead Poet's Society, but failed miserably. Too many subplots and not enough story to really carry them.

I also bought a mouse for the comp today and it's been well worth it. The track pad is a nightmare. Well it's late and I'm beat.

Need for speed

Well I am now officially a member of the high speed community. I hooked up my cable modem and have ran with it. I haven't had a chance to set up the wireless yet, try to get to it tomorrow. I'm loving the blinding speed of things, although working on a PC is taking some getting used to.

Anyway I'm trying to go through and add all my bookmarks for ease of use now, so I'm gonna get back to that. Ta.

It's a sad and beautiful world

Now listening to: Blonde Redhead

Well I survived the NCAA tournament. Thank god the game finished relatively quickly. Will the women's be as easy tomorrow? Probably not. Work was busy all night, tons of calls, waiting for the game. It was troublesome.

Been a while since I actually posted eh. Well let me catch you up on my less than exciting activities. Saturday Trip and I did go to Danville to see Hellboy and shop. Hellboy was pretty good. I liked the villans and the whole Lovecraftian elder gods revived motif. I did manage to spend too much money, as is usual. I got Tiger Woods 2004 and that is pretty sweet. I haven't played it as much as I should, but I'm probably going to kick it after I finish checking out all the stuff online.

Sunday I did very little. I decided I wasn't leaving the house early on and resisted the temptation to drive to Greensboro to play poker with Nick and his friends. I probably should have gone, but was feeling really lazy. I still need to call that cat and tell him what's up. I do like getting the invites and don't want to blow him off.

So instead of raising, calling and folding, I stayed at home and had a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon, watching the remaining 10 episodes in season 5. I've got to get a life, but that show is highly addictive. I now have to blast my way through season 3 of Angel and I will be caught up with all the DVD stuff.

I also watched Jim Jarmush's Down by Law, featuring Tom Waits, who just kicks ass. The movie was decent, not great. A little too slow, but Waits was good. I want to get more of his early work.

Today I just bummed around playing video golf until work and then hit the office. I'm gonna try to get my broadband set up tomorrow so I can kick the high speed tomorrow. I've still got to figure out if a typical wireless adapter will work with my imac.

The chicken told me to destroy her

Now listening to: The Notwist

It turns out I have the weekend off. Which is pretty odd, since I just had a weekend off. My softball game was cancelled for some reason. So I ended up writing some awful column just to have something done.

With all my extra time, Corb, Trip and I jaunted to the big city of Eden for some chinese food. We then walked around a sad excuse for a mall and hit the arcade, which was pretty cool despite being totally devoid of life.

After hanging at Trip's for a while (and writing the aforementioned bad column) we watched Wonderfalls, which kicks ass. I then deposited my column in the proper receptacle and came home. I am now sipping on a gin and tonic and eating Cheez-It's new Twisterz (the z makes it cooler) snacks. The Hot Wings and cheesy blue flavor, they rock the house.

Not sure how I'm going to spend the weekend. Trip and I may head to Danville tomorrow to catch a movie. Maybe Hellboy, maybe somethign else, I dunno. I should probably try to find some cheap wireless stuff for when my comp gets here. I may also trade some games in for something new. I shouldn't spend a lot of dough tho.

I am a cesspool

Now listening to: On a Whim mix

Well another evening killed with nothing to show for it. It's funny, sometimes I feel like I don't have enough time to cram all the things I want to do in. But sometimes when I have no commitments and plenty of time to kill I don't want to do any of those things. Tonight I got off work early and milled about the house. I watched a little tv and the 1928 Russian movie "Arsenal" about a Ukrainian uprising. It was ok, I liked the ending where the a Ukrainian socialist worker proved to be immune to the evil capitalists bullets. Then I watched a couple of Buffy episodes. I'm one away from finishing the third disc.

After that I kinda lost interest and glazed. I kinda wanted to play a video game, but couldn't settle on one and stared at reruns for a while. Finally I gave up and played fake money poker online. Which was wholly unsatisfying. I dunno I've just felt a malaise all day really. I need to find a game that enthralls me. I'll probably try and trade in a few old games and get something cool for my PC when it comes in.

I'm supposed to go to a softball game tomorrow, but it's probably going to rain. That means I have to be creative and come up with something. I may write a column on deciding where sports end and games begin. We'll see.

List of comp. games I'm interesting in: Final Fantasy XI, Balder's Gate 2, Icewind Dale 1 and 2, Diablo 2 and World of Warcraft (when it comes out over five months from now). I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting, but that's plenty really. Oh and Magic online. That could be cool.

I think I'm gonna try and hook up some broadband tomorrow and get the wireless action going. That'll be pretty sweet. I could network with trip and kick his ass at starcraft or something. I talked to Danny for like five minutes tonight and mentioned I was getting gonna get broadband and he was right on me to get on XBox Live and play Counterstrike. Which probably would be cool, but I'm just not that interested in hte whole terrorist thing. When Halo 2 comes out I'm definitely hooking it up, but there isn't a whole lot that really interests me on it now. PLus if I do end up with FFXI I'll have plenty to occupy me with that. Oh and online poker, there is that.

If I could do anything, I'd be doing nothing

Now listening to: Cap'n Jazz

While sitting in the press box at an extremely cold, wet and nasty soccer match I got the pleasure of sitting in a roomful of 8th-10th graders from the opposing J.V. team. I now know why I hated those years. So many idiots talking way too much. I was already stunned by dealing with my least favorite parent from the school (thank god his son graduates this year) who wouldn't shut up. He's like Rodney Dangerfield without the talent.

Anyway the game blew, the weather was awful and both the Chappelle's Show and the WPT broadcasts were disappointing. I mean both were better than 90% of everything else on TV but they weren't exciting in relation to the rest of their episodes. I only saw moments of South Park, but it didn't seem that funny. Maybe I'm wrong about that, we'll see.

List of stuff I am currently interested in: poker, the upcoming P.J. Harvey album, getting broadband for my new computer, actually taking the time to work on my novel, being debt-free (he said after buying a new computer), Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 5.

What is that? A boogin?

Now listening to: Blonde Redhead

Well I did it. I have turned to the dark side. I ordered a Dell laptop tonight. I feel ashamed, but what can I do? My hands are tied. Now I just need to get the high speed internet connection and wireless hookup stuff. Oh and get my jeep fixed (or get a new car, still not sure which). Why did I buy a computer before getting the jeep taken care of? Well I don't know, I'm silly sometimes. Especailly since it was wet and rainy today and riding in the jeep wasn't that fun.

I can't believe its after 1 a.m. now. Where has the day gone? I can surely kill a few hours.

I got an email from Gabe today telling me how good a column of mine was. That's pretty cool. My family is usually pretty sparse with the praise (we're highly critical by nature) so when it comes it means something. I need to write another good column, but nothing in sports has inspired me of late. I couldn't possibly care less about college hoops.

I guess I'm gonna go see what's up at the old pokerroom. Hopefully my comp will ship soon and I can get some real action (and hopefully make some real money).

Eat at Lindo's

Now listening to: Sonic Youth (Evol)

Well I have returned from the Big Apple without much ado. It was a decent trip, but short on anything of bigtime interest. Lots of hanging out with the guys, playing poker and drinking. Didn't really do anything tourist oriented, other than walking around Times Square for too long. Did that on Fri. and got the pleasure of dealing with a fine array of blisters on my feet for the rest of the weekend.

But I did have a good time hanging out, for the most part. By Sunday I was feeling a little cramped and needed some space, that I wasn't going to get. I think that's just a symptom of my need for a certain amount of solitary time. I have to get my "me time" or I go all crabby ...OK I go more crabby than normal.

My first-ever flight was significantly less stressful than I anticipated. While I do tend ot have a fear of heights, for some reason flying didn't bother me. The initial feeling of leaving the ground was a bit offputting but I got over it quick and went to my book. It felt a lot like being packed on a bus, just for a ridiculously shorter amount of time.

SOME THOUGHTS I HAD IN NYC:

1. The city makes you feel so small and insignificant. There are all these throngs of humanity walking around and you wonder what the likelihood of your life having real meaning value is. I was having a total existential crisis before Mike's B-Day fest on Saturday (I was not anticipating having a good time, actually). But it turns out I did have a great time. First of all hanging with Mike, Adam and Greg (and Shannon too) was cool. Then his friends in NYC were pretty cool as well (with many of them being ridiculously hot women.) A few beers in and my crisis was over and I was simply drunk.

2. With the internet and instant communication there is little real difference with the stuff you can buy all over. Every place I went seemed a lot more homogenized than the last time I was in NY. This sort of bores me and makes me wonder if there is any point to traveling. With the "kinder, gentler" tip New York has taken, Times Square has went so touristy it's obnoxious. Before there were the strip clubs, porn shops and nudie booths to give you some semblance of a seedy, big city vibe. Now it's like a mall. It just doesn't feel like the NY that Kerouac and Burroughs came from.

3. I hate being shoulder to shoulder with people on the subway. I'm a big fan of personal space and can't stand feeling crowded. If I were to live there it would drive me nuts to ride the subway all the time. Of course the Subway was a big part of this trip. It was undoubtedly the thing that stood out most. The upside to riding the trains is that there are a ton of attractive women riding and you can scope til you're heart's content.

4. Everything in New York is either brand new and built to the hilt or old and dilapidated. There is very little middle ground. This often provides a stark contrast, the biggest one I noticed was in Brooklyn (home of the dilapidated building). it was a Quizno's that had obviously just opened right next to a battered old hispanic grocery place that looked as though it would collapse. Of course these things were in the same building technically, but the difference was exceptional.

If I think of anything else I'll post it later

Screw you guys, I'm on vacation

Now watching: futurama

Well I am now officially on vacation and the feeling is excellent. But I did have to earn that feeling today as everything I did at work seemed to fuckup. But I'm not thinking about that, I'm on motherfucking vacation.

Watched South Park, which was pretty good. Pretty harsh on the baseball players. Dave Chappelle was also excellent, as usual. I'm probably going to watch it again in a little bit. The poker was fun as well. It was in Paris and they were playing with Euros, which is a little odd, especially trying to figure out the exchange rate. There were some cool characters tho. George the Greek was an interesting Cretean. Also Jan Boubli has a great nickname: "Le Grand" How cool is that?

I still have to pack ...and that sucks. I do have all afternoon tho, so it shouldn't be a problem. I just hope i have enough clean socks or it could be an odiferous trip.
Chatting with my mom about the trip, she warned me of the pitfalls of paking a razor, which could be confiscated by security before the flight. I'm hoping she's just paranoid, because that is frickin nuts.

I can smell fear ...and nachos

Well I just installed a new feature to my beloved blog. You'll note the terror alert warning thingee in the sidebar below. It's cleverly ranked by both color and Sesame Street character (I hope I never see an Elmo alert, for a variety of reasons). It's courtesy of geekandproud.com. A pretty cool site I found linked from will wheaton's blog.

Enjoy the terror.

Cymbal banging monkey, you know how to live

Now listening to: Ween (All request Live)

Well it's been an interesting day. Ok, so it wasn't that interesting, but I did get a lot fo work done. Which means less for tomorrow. I do have to drive to Stuart tho, which will undoubtedly be a cold trip.

I watched Kurosawa's Ran tonight, it was long. Pretty good, nobody does epic like Kurosawa. Lots of nice imagery as well. The Great Lord's broken sword when he loses his castle is a nice metaphor. Also his use of color makes for a visual buffet. Kurosawa probably uses color better than any other director ever ...Dreams has to be the best example of this. I respond well to bright colors I suppose.

I managed to win a coupla poker tournaments tonight (yes, for fake money trip), but going 2-2 is pretty nice. I played pretty well (and caught one big break in the second one).

I'm now listening to Ween, which is pretty sweet actually. It's unusual, as is usual for Ween. The stallion, Part 1-5 is particularly interesting.

Only one day more until my fantabulous trip to the big city. I'm looking forward to it. Still not sure exactly what we're gonna do, not that it will be a problem finding anything to do. I just dont' really want to get stuck sitting in a loud club setting. I can never hear anything and feel completely out of place. I much prefer a more laid back setting where I can actually talk and hear. Plus good music in a club is nigh impossible to find. Of course NYC probably has a much better selection, but my idea of good music and everyone else's probably are at odds.

Piss wand

Now listening to: The Shins (Oh, Inverted World)

Well I took the trip to the Noke and it was ok. It was a cold fuckin drive tho. I shopped around for a laptop and that was dissappointing. I have two options: 1) scale back on the things I want, or 2) save more money so I can pay more to get all the features I want. I went to the Gateway store and saw one I kinda liked. It was Pentium M, so I'm not exactly sure if it would run FFXI, but it seemed to have most of the other stuff I wanted and was in my price range (the upper end, of course). So asked the clerk about it and he gave me the basics and then kept on talking about crap. On and on he went. When I decided to break him off and bail, he insisted he print out a copy of all the features and costs. When he did that, mystically the price went up over $300 for all the extras I would need. Why don't they just put the damn price on things. It annoys me.

After some shopping and dinner I went to Kevin's and hung with him and Courtney for a while. Had a good time. The only problem is now that Kev and I don't see each other as often I feel like we're trying to fit in three weeks worth of hanging out into three hours. Playing catchup or something. It sucks, but what can you do when schedules collide?

After a decent visit I headed home in the freezing ass cold. I think the teasing of warm weather makes the cold seem worse now than even during the depths of winter.

Hahaha Ha Haha, you are a chicken

Now listening to: Sebadoh ...again

Well I did the unthinkable and stayed home all day and watched 11, count 'em, 11 episodes of Angel to finish out season 2. It was quite cool, especially the extra-dimensional travel in the final few episodes. I do need to get a life, however. But I'm now looking forward to the next season a lot, but I have season 5 of Buffy to watch first.

I then watched most of Adult Swim while playing Metroid: Zero Mission on my GBA (I defeated Kraid). After all that TV I decided to do something else. so I got up, moved to my computer and stared at that screen for a while. Woo.

I think I am gonna go to the Noke tomorrow and chill out. Try to hook up with Adam and maybe Kevin. Goof off and try not to spend too much money. Have a nice dinner at Red Palace perhaps ...or maybe Macado's. Maybe I'll also find a really good deal on a laptop, although I may be better off if that doesn't happen.

Zombie planet

Now listening to: Modest Mouse

Well I survived another Saturday night with only mild psychological scars. Work was fairly hectic and I didn't get to do as much as I would have liked to get things out of the way, but at least it's over for a coupla days.

I've been watching season 2 of Angel, which is pretty sweet so far. I can't decide if I like Buffy or Angel more. I'm leaning toward Buffy because of Willow and Anya ...and Clem, Clem likes you. But Angel does have the sweet demon action on the regular. The host kicks ass and I'm into the whole Darla/Dru plotline. Hard to say, especially since Spike is fairly evenly distributed between the two. Gaahh, listen to me. I'm turning into a Buffy nerd. DAMN YOU TRIP! Getting me hooked on vampire melodrama (I looked up the spelling, who knew?).

I'm considering spending most of tomorrow planted in front of the tube finishing Angel and then moving on to Buffy. I also have a coupla netflix to watch. Kurasawa's ran and Jarmush's Down By Law. I also need to read something as I haven't finished a book in over a week and I'm missing my quota. Oh and I should also probably get back to doing some writing on my alleged novel. I totally need to quit my job so I can get things done. Of course the whole money thing is nice. ...seems I'm trapped.

Nobody lingers like...

Now listening to: My whim mix

Well it's time to kick back a little and relax. I've had another annoying day at work, complete with a remake of my front at 9:30 ...or right after I had putting the finishing touches on it. So much fun. So now I'm just chilling and listening to some tunes. I think I'll put a list of the mix I've made at the end for fun. To appease both my readers here as Trip would say. ...have to find a way to increase traffic and infect others with the virus of my language.

Watched the world poker tour last night and it was good. Paul Phillips made some nice moves and took his first title. Seems he used the same tactic against Gus Hanson as Antonio Esfandari made on Phil Hellmuth at the event at Lucky Chances Casino. Apparetly the best way to stop those aggressive, loose players who are always betting is to flash some re-raises back at them. Of course you have to pick the times when they aren't holding a big hand.

I also watched Chappelle's show and man is that funny. Dave gets better all the time. I've been catching up on some Angel episodes as well. It's hard not to get addicted to that show. I'm trying to not go on a 6-7 episode spree and kill a day...which I have done in the past. The day I watched around 12 episodes of Buffy comes to mind...I think it was a Thanksgiving actually.

Anyway if I can just make it through Saturday night I'll be on easy street with only two work days for a week. Of course at the rate things are going I may kill someone before midnight Saturday.

ON A WHIM MIX
# Artist (Song)
1. Embrace (Buildings)
2. Sebadoh (Not too amused)
3. The Shins (Eating Styes from Elephant's Eyes)
4. Sleater-Kinney (Oh!)
5. My Bloody Valentine (Soon)
6. Minutemen (Do you want new wave or do you want the truth)
7. Smashing Pumpkins (Snail)
8. Kinski (Rhode Island Freakout)
9. Possum Dixon (In Buildings)
10. Yo La Tengo (Sudden Organ)
11. Queens of the Stone Age (The sky is fallin')
12. Network (Reto)
13. Husker Du (Pink Turns to Blue)
14. The Promise Ring (Heart of a Broken Story)
15. Eels (My Beloved Monster)
16. Elvis Costello (13 steps lead down)
17. Mission of Burma (Dead Pool)
18. Mike Doughty (Looks)
19. Mellowdrone (Fashionably Uninvited)
20. Sonic Youth (Washing Machine)
21. Wire (Ex-Lion Tamer)

I may make some people a copy of this mix ...although I know trip ain't gonna like a lot of it. Too avant garde for his blue collar rock tastes.

I can't talk through the bile

Now:hating work so much I can barely breath.

STUNNED. I got a nice, stern talking to today at work, complete with ultimatums and threats. It really brightened my day. It turns out I didn't work hard enough last week and now my editor is installing an eight-story minimum for writing weeks. A minimum I'm not likely to meet, I might add. I think it also has to do with the fact that my editor doesn't like that I am more installed around this area than he is. He wants a new guy he can browbeat into what he wants instead of me who's been there and done that and should probably have his position.

It's really got me to thinking. I've said it before that this job is just coasting and I only stay here because it's easy. I've debated moving on and trying something else new for a challenge and hopefully for a better future, but have been lulled into complacency by the ease of life. But if things are going to get harder, then I'm stupid to stay. Why deal with a shitload of work for substandard pay and benefits? Not to mention the fact that the more I'm here the more I become aware of an all-encompassing boredom.

So I guess I'm going to start looking for a new job, hopefully in Greensboro or Roanoke or maybe even NYC. It all depends. I may even take a McJob just to get away from this hole.

The oyster who snapped and killed everyone in his reach

Now watching: the best of Adam Sandler

I dont have much to say really. Work was tolerable last night and I played poker afterwards. Had a decent day, but got bored and started to do a little reading. Still reading our band could be your life. It's pretty good. I'm up to the sonic youth section.

I suppose that's it. I'm not really in a writing mood right now.

Tornado Shanks

Now listening to: Sleater-Kinney

My plan to completely slack off today didn't reach full fruition as Corb forced me from the couch to the shower and then to Trip's and dinner. But I had a pretty good time, I suppose. We watched this sweet new show that Trip had taped, called Wonderfalls. It was hilarious and had a nice sardonic wit. My kind of show.

I watched 28 days later earlier in the day and that was cool. I like the whole zombie/plague thing that was the premise. I also thought the director did a good job of selling the loneliness of someone waking up without anyone else there at all. Plus the music from Godspeed You, Black Emperor fit really well. They are a really good, albiet difficult band.

I watched Adult Swim tonight and that shit is funny. BoBo as a potential unabomber bear was funny in the Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

I return to work tomorrow and am not looking forward to it. The whole basketball season has drained me to no end and I just feel like I need a break. I can't wait until the 25th when I get to go to NYC for a visit. Maybe I'll find a job and just stay. I could use a scenery change. I am gonna check the papers and see what the market is like for a sports writing guy with hopes beyond the boring newspaper world.

The universe is shaped exactly like the Earth

Now listening to: Modest Mouse

Well Trip and I spent the day in Greensboro again. Had a pretty good time, I was dissappointed that the oyster bar place I want to go to was closed until 4 p.m. so we couldn't do lunch there. But we went to Grady's and had a nice meal, my prime rib was quite tasty.

After that we shopped around for a while, me pricing computers and Trip looking at scanners and digital cameras. Having a credit card in Circuit City and CompUSA is dangerous, I nearly impulse bought an Ipod. Scary. I also met a complete nerd working at CompUSA that had no idea what was going on. Scary.

I managed to hold off temptation and not buy either a new Ipod or a computer. I ended up getting Metroid: Zero Mission for my GBA, which is pretty sweet so far. I also picked up a coupla new books, as always happens in G-boro. I can't stop myself from getting new reading material ...even when I have tons of stuff at the house.

While enjoying some quality time at the EFS (Eric Friendly Shitter) in Borders a top five list came to me. So here is that epiphany:

TOP FIVE THINGS PEOPLE DO WHILE DROPPING A DEUCE
5. Wish they hadn't had the spicy food
4. Stare vacantly at the vent on the ceiling
3. Pick lint off their shirt
2. Read
1. Pick their nose

You are such a ponce

Now listening to: my new mix of songs I made on a whim

Well it's been a couple of days and I have no real excuse for not blogging. Last night I was too frustrated at going out of two consecutive poker tournaments on the bubble, losing to players that weren't there. Pissed me off. I got into the money in two tournaments tonight, so I'm bouncing back a bit.

I did manage to do a little writing the other night, writing about half a chapter...maybe a little over a half. It was decent. I also edited the first chapter for a third time and found still more things that needed tweaking. It's going to be a lot of work to finish a complete novel. I'm also having issues with my third person perspective.

I'm considering getting a new computer, a PC. This is anathema to my Macintosh heritage, but I'm tired of knowing things won't work on my computer and feeling left out. The poker thing is the really big issue. Well that and I'd like to play Final Fantasy 11 and perhaps World of Warcraft. I dunno. I'm thinking a laptop, but Trip does have a point that you pay more and get less for a laptop. Requires more thought and better knowledge of the product. Maybe a trip to compusa will help this weekend.

Eating styes from elephant's eyes

Now listening to: The Shins

Well today wasn't too bad. Kinda laid back, went ot work and that wasn't too bad. Danny got me a new chair that's pretty kickass. It sits just a little high, but hell the price is right and it's really comfortable. Plus it looks really nice, so rock on.

After work headed to Trip's to hang for a little while. Played a bit of poker and sucked it up. After getting knocked out of a no limit SNG in fourth place (and therefore out of the money) I went on complete tilt. No patience, no game. I think it was trip's evil presence throwing me off.

Now I'm thinking I may settle in and do a little reading or maybe play some Champions of Norrath (CoN). Hmm. I also could work on a new mix cd. I haven't made a mix in a while and have plenty of new stuff to put on it.

Or I could do some writing. I really need to start spending some time banging out some work on that novel idea. I think with the blogging I could do a good job of getting some good work done. After a blog I can step away from reality and really focus.

The whole blogging thing is very theraputic for helping me figure out what I think about things. I know most of the time it's just a lot of disjointed rambling about my day, but it helps me assimilate my days and coalate my thoughts. Of course the title of the blog is incoherent rambling so there is truth in the advertising.

I am that man!

Now listening to: Sebadoh

I can't decide if I did absolutely nothing today or accomplished a lot. I suppose it depends on your perspective. While I didn't actually manage to leave the house or bathe, I did watch three movies, play around three hours of Mega Man Battle Network 3, watch an episode of Futurama I hadn't seen and play in no less than three online poker tournaments (finishing 1, 3 and 6).

So you can see I was very busy at catching up on the entertainment I've been missing the last week. The movies I watched were: Power and Terror (a documentary on Noam Chomsky...pretty interesting stuff), Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (not bad, but not great either) and Bottle Rocket (the one Wes Anderson movie I hadn't seen and definitely my least favorite.)

This was exactly the type of day I needed, very relaxing. It's been a good weekend. Yesterday, Trip, Corb and I forayed to Danville to see Broken Lizard's Club Dread. It was fucking hysterical with hot babes everywhere. I had read a bad review and had low expectations, but it was really good. Don't mess with the Broken Lizard guys.

I also got some new music (a Sonic Youth collaboration, Primal Scream and My Bloody Valentine) and a new game (Champions of Norrath). The music hasn't been that great, although the My Bloody Valentine album is exceptional, it's the others that don't live up to my hopes. Champions is very good. I may play it some more after posting...or maybe more poker. I dunno.

Jamming econo

Now listening to: Portishead
Now reading: Our Band Could be Your Life

Well I finally made it through what I consider to be one of the worst weeks of my life. I'm thinking top three. I managed to survive the funeral and make it through the hell like work night tonight. I'm now looking forward to two relaxing days of doing basically what I want.

Work has been such a bitch lately and tonight was no exception. Everything is coming in at the absolute last minute and so I have to ram and jam just to get finished. Lots of deadline pressure. One of the teams managed to penetrate through to the final four in basketball, so I have another week of that crap...and my weekend off gets shut down. Sucks.

I was forced to go to Roanoke for the first day of the state wrestling tournament yesterday. While the idea of going to the Noke for half an event and expecting that to pay off somehow is stupid, the trip was fairly relaxing. I forgot how good that drive is at letting me process my thoughts. I miss that time to think. I have to get my automobile situation figured out soon so I can go back to taking those trips occasionally.

Plus I hit B&N and found the book Our Band COuld Be Your Life on sale, cheap. It's an account of several underground bands of the 80s. So far I've read about Black Flag and the Minutemen and they fucking rule. I love their DIY and selfless attitude. They are bands that actually believed in something more than making money and being a rock star.

World of shit

I'm stressed. Of late I've been thinking about money a lot, or more to the point, the fact that I don't really have a lot of money. I live a subsidized life right now, living with the 'rents, and really need to address my car situation. Whether that means a whole new car (and debt) or fixing up my jeep (and getting less debt) is still a matter of debate. I'm tired of owing someone and don't want to assume more debt, but I don't know how to escape it. That whole thought process has been in my mind for the last three months.

On top of that, work is being a bitch. Andy is all about more coverage of this basketball crap and more work and I'm tired of it. I don't give a rats ass about basketball. I may even be going to the fuckin' state wrestling tournament on Fri. against my will. So work has been stressful.

And finally, after a relatively sedate workday (relatively to the last four weeks) I come home fully intending to relax and watch tv and mom tells me my Uncle died. so now I ahve a funeral to attend on Saturday and a eulogy to work on. I hate these events and, honestly, the largest majority of the people there I'm not going to want to see. I don't like the largest percentage of my family and one of the members I did like just died.

So Saturday I get to go to a funeral, go to work afterward and stress out until the very last minute doing layout so we can squeeze in every last millisecond of basketball coverage. All for substandard pay. This is my life.

Average is dumb

SO I have to return to work today...bummer. I had a nice weekend, fairly relaxing. Yesterday I watched American Splendor, which I thought was pretty kickass. Paul Giammati was really good and the movie had a certain charm to it. Also Toby, the Party Nerd, was mighty.

Trip and I went to Danville and had a decent time. Went to Ruby Tuesday's (for the BBQ wings of course) and then did some minor shopping. After that I hung at Trip's place while he watched American Splendor and played Poker online. I hit a couple of SNGs (Sit and Gos i.e. one table tournaments for the uninitiated) winning the first one and taking second in the next due to a connection failure.

I played four more once I got home. I know I'm a nerd, leave me alone. But I won one of those and suffered some tough luck on the others. I still ended up ahead for the night. I'm seriously considering playing some of those for real cash. I'll have to wait for a night that I get off a little early. ...I'm actually considering getting into another tournament right now. Hmm.

I wanna get back home

Now listening to: Grandaddy

I'm in a horrible mood right now and I don't really know why. It's the middle of my weekend, I haven't really been stressed today and nothing is abnormally bad. I'm just depressed.

I watched the Oscars and they went pretty much like I hoped, although Bill Murray should have won. I think everyone was let down when he didn't. I think Sean Penn simply won because he'd been nominated four times. Although he did give some props to his competition and even Paul Giamati (SP?). I'm gonna watch American Splendor tomorrow.

I do think LOTR deserved all the recognition it got. The trilogy was truly epic and a piece of cinema that will be remembered for the ages. Plus it was the first fantasy film to ever win an Oscar. How they overlooked Conan the Barbarian, I'll never know.

I'm gonna go and fester in my bad mood now. Maybe play some online poker, although it may be a bad idea in this mood. Maybe I'll see some wired pairs...let's hope.

May I take your purse as usual, or for the first time

Once again at Trip's on a Sunday. We are planning on watching the Oscars tonight. Woo, go Bill Murray. We're now watching a Buffy rerun. So I thought I'd log in and ramble for a bit.

Yesterday went pretty well, my column was fairly well received. Also the wrestling tournament wasn't too trying, so I got out around 10 and my weekend began. So I went home and beat Balder's Gate once and for all. It was ok, although it was a little too easy. I got bored of just slashing with no challenge. At the end I was just going through the motions, slaying the evil vampire to stop his nefarious plot and moving on with my life.

Today I watched the Paper Chase, which was a good movie. I enjoyed it a lot. It made me want to go back to college. Not sure I can really afford to do that, but I do miss the whole college thing, even studying.

Absurdity rules

So it's been an interesting couple of days. Thursday was the worst as wewent to press early due to the "impending" snow, which never amounted to anything. But, as is usual, I finished an hour early and then we went an hour late, so it was two full hours of wishing I were somewhere else. Sucks really.

After that I came home and ate so much pizza that I could barely breathe...not a good thing.

Friday I hung around the house most of the day, playing Balder's gate obsessively. Then I went to Trip's where we playedD&D Heroes, which is really pretty crappy after BG. Not to mention that Trip, Danny, Corb and myself are the worst team of adventurers ever.

Today I get to cover more wrestling! Woo. Kinda stunned with that. But at least I get the next coupla days off. I think I may simply veg, as I need to save some cash. Of course when they get here I'll throw caution to the wind and spend like a total moron.

A brief glimpse of light in the all encompassing darkness

Well yesterday was pretty nice. Talked to an interesting girls basketball player, who was a pleasure to deal with, had dinner with trip and then wrote a story. After that I came home and relaxed. While lying prone on the couch under a blanket and watching poker I had a moment of true contentedness. Very nice.

But I quickly bored of the WPT show as it was a rerun I had watched no less that twice already. So I decided to fire up Balder's Gate and blast some goblins into near extinction. That was about 10:30. At 4:10, I set the controller down and staggered to bed. Talk about time investment.

I think I'm gona try to get another hour in before work, but I have to stop in time to shave and go by Big Dave's to pick up my tax return. Woo. I should also try to go to the bank. Hmm.

Onward my undead horde!

Now listening to: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Another dread nite at work. Cameron can push my buttons like few others. He should be a right-wing radio personality. He has all the traits: annoyingly loud voice, complete belief that his opinions are the only ones that could ever possibly matter and an ability to talk right over whoever he is having "discussion" with. Death is too good for him.

Anyway I spent a large portion of the night in the office trying to block him out with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, which was a good idea. I found myself noticing the bass licks a lot. They are exceptional, not often the focus, but always around...like a warm blanket. Those think and encompassing sounds filling in all the bare space like a wave of honey over a sieve. I like my music thick and syrupy.

Ohh! I watched Lost in Translation today and it was excellent. Bill Murray is amazing and Scarlett Johansson is really good too. Her character is exactly the type of woman I want. She even has the look that drives me nuts. Sofia Coppola really did capture alienation well and the characters did a good job of conveying complex emotions without saying everything. Plus the photography was awesome, some captivating locations and a very good soundtrack. I may even buy that, the movie was so good.

Now I think I must retire, collect my undead minion and slay any monsters that cross my path. How I yearn for an actual army of the undead to command.

Mistakes were made!

Now: preparing to slay some critters in BG: Dark Alliance 2

Work was dull and mindless, so that's nice. Kinda floundered my way through without any major scarring.

Trip and I got into a discussion about the Oscars. He believes that they are wrong because art should be appreciated not judged...i.e. art isn't about competition. On one hand I agree, on the other (the highly argumentative and devil's advocate type hand) everything is a competition. The whole point of these awards shows is to promote movies...and the public is only going to pay attention to something with a winner.

I later broadened this argument into everything is a competition, even art. While it's not as easy to score as a football game, it's certainly competitive. Each artist is looking to make a work that will attract attention and make them great. The competition is them trying to express a feeling and making other people get it. It's an abstract concept I admit, but I genuinely believe competition is hardwired into the genetic code of every person. It all stems from sexual competition...but that's the topic of a whole different post.

Watched Underworld today and really, it was not impressive. Pretty blah, actually. I could actually see movie execs pitching the movie. "It's got vampires and werewolves battling each other for some reason. And there is a hot vampire chick in vinyl, who tracks the werewolves. Oh and one of the vamps betrays his people for power..." It could have been a lot better if the writing didn't blow so much. Plus while Kate Beckinsdale was adequate (and looked good in the form fitting clothes) she never sold me on the idea of her as a aggressive hunter type.

Meatwad making money, see

Well my phone is back online, thank satan. Now I can return to my wanton web crawls. Yesterday was fun, we had a good time in Greensboro, although I managed to spend too much money as usual. But I did get some cool stuff. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD is a masterpiece. I laughed my ass off.

I also got Midway Arcade Treasures which is pretty kickass. Last night I worked on my Robotron game and broke 100K, it's only a matter of time before I'm schooling Trip at it. Mwahhaha. Now if I can just get my Marble Madness game down. Not much else going on, I have to return to work today and feel very unsatisfied with the whole split weekend thing. I've been spoiled by having two days off in a row for so long.

I'm getting ready to watch Underworld. Hope it's better than I've heard...but Kate Beckinsdale is hot no matter what. So I've got that going for me...which is nice.

My friends are bastards

Now: sitting at Trip's

I'm being berated by Trip and Corb and Corb isn't even here. It's a travesty. We are preparing for an expedition into the hinterlands of Greensboro. Well Corb sold out, so it'll just me Trip, myself and Danny.

Anyway I'm updating from Trip's because my phone is out...it's always something at my apartment. I'm stunned with that sort of thing...phone's nto working, heat pump installation refrigerator repair...will it ever end?

This weekend has been sorta interesting, hung with Kev and Courtney and Reid on Friday and had a good time. Ended up going to Reid's place and teaching them Hold 'em. Woo, more fish. Saturday was all about the work as I covered the wrestling tournament. Such fuin. OK gotta go.

Shoot me in the fuckin' face

Now drinking: heavily

What a night I'm having. Actually it's been a bad week, god I hate basketball. Will it ever end? At least I have tomorrow off. Of course it's only one day, then I hit the wrestling tournament on Saturday. Woo. It's just been stressful. We've had a couple of mistakes in headlines the past coupla days (which is pretty lame I'll admit). One of which was my fault, but it's hard to keep up with St. John's and St. Joe's and not get them mixed up.

Anyway because of those mistakes Ginny was clucking around me like a farm hen tonight, checking everything for the most ridiculous of mistakes. And when someone who doesn't speak Sports-ugeuese does that, it's a pain. They ask about everything and you have to explain why it's right. I'm not a good explainer, as I don't want to be bothered. On top of that, I caught what would have been a huge fuckup on my part right at deadline and had to scramble. I'm drinking gin to make it all go away.

In the period before the assfucking at work, I took the time to take an online intelligence test. I scored a 131 and was described as a visual mathmetician. ("This means you are gifted at spotting patterns. This and your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture.") I pretty much agree with the assessment as I think I am good at patten recognition. It's one of the things I think will make me a good poker player in the long run.

Plus the number 131 is pretty close to the IQ test I took in grade school, where I got around 130 (not quite in the genius category, but plenty smart...not to brag, but it's the one thing I've got going for me).

Anyway my plan for the rest of the evening is to drink a lot of gin and tonic...with maybe a little cognac thrown in and play some online poker. Why not? I also need to grab some hardcore punk albums to listen to while I play. Rock on.

I need a clone

Now: preparing for bed

It's been a long night. Work was tedious and I just felt ragged out. I had to close out late because of late breaking basketball news. One of those nights where everything had to take forever.

I had planned on a Wal-mart trip after work, but as I was near exhaustion I put it off and came home to watch poker. From there I channel surfed until 3:30 a.m. and am now ridiculously tired. (Here's where you say "Of course you're tired you moron, it's 4 a.m.")

I did finish Angels and Demons last night and haven't really decided what to go to next. I should finish one of the poker books I've got, but those aren't really a great read for fun. I'm torn between Dostoyevsky or Stephan Fry. Decisions, decisions.

That's some Wu-Tang, Scooby gang type shit

Now listening to: Parliament and Nas
Well after some battling I managed to be profitable in the poker room. It was a struggle tho. I couldn't get a hand to stand up. The river is a cruel mistress.

Tomorrow I think I'm gonna try to get some work done early and I may buy Lost in Translation...that or the Midway Arcade Hits. Trip and I have been kicking it old school with that. I am, of course, the International Marble Madness Champion (retired) even if Trip refuses to acknowledge it.

I also need to look into getting that broadband hookup. But that's gonna be a costly endeavor, with the router and everything. Even more so if I go wireless, which may be necessary. Although if I do that I could get a cheap pc laptop and not have to full with all the wires all the time. Funny how I always find things I could spend more money on. I have a knack for it really.

Konichiwa bitches

Now listening to: The Eels

Well tonight was work-laden. The basketball tournaments opened tonight and I got to double up and cover two girls games. It wasn't so bad as both games went pretty quick. After finishing writing I had to hang around and help close out the paper, so I didn't leave til around midnight. Now I'm just looking to relax. Thinking maybe some poker goodness. Although I do want to finish Angels and Demons tonight. It's pretty good, but the Davinci Code was better...so was Digital Fortress.

Saw 50 First Dates with trip last night. It was pretty good, starts off with the goofy sorta juvenile humor, then turns into an earnest romantic comedy. Adam Sandler kicks ass, funny, but he has a soul. It's not always fart jokes with him.

After the movie trip and I tried some Mac-based Halo action. It was ok, but I really blow with the mouse and keyboard. I know the hardcore gamers think the mouse is the way to go, but the Xbox controller kicks it's ass for me. It's just a matter of being used to it I suppose.

Not much else going on for now, just counting the days until my trip to NYC.

I am a patient boy

Now listening to: Atom and His Package's cover of Waiting Room by Fugazi

This just in, after a completely awful start at the tables I had my biggest night yet. I was down almost $600 early on and couldn't catch a hand to save my life. The few playable hands I got were beat on the river and life was bad. Then I considered giving up, but instead moved to a higher stakes table (all play money as always) and proceeded to go on a huge rush.

I could do no wrong. Everything came through, I folded all the right hands and showed down some high dollar hands. I even caught a winner on the river where the board paired and two flushes bet into my full house. So nice. I started the night at around $2600 and finished at $5K.

I swear I'm tempted to get out my credit card and play for real, but I need to show some control. Although if I start winning consistently then I'm actually losing money by not playing. How's that for dangerous thinking? I actually was reading this poker blog (http://guinnessandpoker.blogspot.com/) that was talking about all the new players (fish) on partypoker.com. He said in the last year it's went from 3K players to 36K. He has a program that tracks his fish around and he's making a killing apparently. Makes me want to get a pc so I can play there.

Commercial sentiment

Now listening to: Jawbreaker

Well it's Valentine's Day and I've sat at home all day and generally hate life. TV is loaded with romantic comedies and sentimental claptrap that makes me feel like the loneliest human being around. I loathe this holiday, it's the absolute worst. I used to hate X-mas more, but recently X-mas has been better and Valentine's Day worse.

The whole thing is designed to make the single person feel completely inadequate and need consumer therapy. So more spending, or if you are with someone you are obligated to spend a ton. I heard a commercial on the radio telling us "fellows" that V-Day is the one time of year where you can show your other how you really feel. Hmmm, what about the other 365 days of the year? Didn't I hear that same damn thing on X-mas?

Anyway besides feeling fat, ugly and lonely I've not done much. I finished reading Big Deal by Anthony Holden, which was good. A biographer's account of his one year as a poker professional. I also watched the Young Lions. Marlon Brando was exquisite as always as a conflicted German soldier during WWII. The man is simply the best actor ever. Admittedly, he's made some bad choices the last few years (The Island of Dr. Moreau comes to mind), but his library is incredible. I suggest everyone see several of his works, The Godfather in particular.

Anyway I suppose I could have felt less lonely had I followed through on going to hang out with Corb, but the laziness bug took hold. My plan now is to drink several beer and play some poker for fun. Perhaps later I'll crack Dan Brown's Angels & Demons, which Mom checked out for me. I'd better hold on to my seat.

What dreams remain

Now listening to: ...and you will know us by the trail of dead

Another triumphant night at the fake poker tables, but it is a hollow victory. In the fake rooms I'm gonna end up winning because there is nothing to lose. Therefore if I play tight, the goons are gonna chase dreams and throw the fake cash away. I still think it's good experience, but without the actual cash it's not really that great. So I'm gonna have to get into the cash games. It may be a while as I need to make sure all my bills are paid before my trip.

I'm wondering if it really will snow tomorrow...err, this morning. I hope school isn't closed and they have basketball games. Better to get them out of the way and have Friday off (ostensibly).

Sweet as she wanna be

Now listening to: Outkast (The Love Below)

Well it's been a pretty good night. Fairly slack workday, nice dinner. Oh, well the fact that the local circuit city is closing is a real bummer. Now I can either buy online or over pay at FYE. Or I could go out of town...the majority of the time it'll probably be online or outta town. Sucks...

But it still has been a nice night. Josh the Newfoundland won the Westminster Dog Show, which kicked ass. Finally a big dog takes it to those yippy little punk dogs. I also would have been satisfied if the Corgi had won, but I was rooting for the Newfie.

After that I got online and made like $600 of fake cash. Initially I was pissed because I was at a table with this jerk who bet the maximum on every hand and hoped to draw out. With pocket kings I went the distance and he won because he got a deuce and nine on the turn and river. He bet the full amount the whole time with nothing. He did that every hand and was up overall...wonder if that strategy would pay off in the long run. Doubt it, people would simply refuse to play with you.

I left that table and found a super soft game that I racked up on. It was nice, my jacks full of tens beat this guy's tens full of jacks... a well done check on the turn earned me a big pay day. So that's cool.

Also I finally figured out how to adjust my links... feel free to look to the right and enjoy some of my fav. sites. I'll try to shift them around from time to time to give all of you the chance to explore some cool stuff I find. No, not porn...well not always.

So I'm listening to Outkast and I'm still not tired of Hey Ya! and that has been overplayed like mad... Normally I get sick of that type of thing, but this song has real staying power. Can't deny the incomparable Andre 3000.

Step into the night

Now listening to: the shins

Today has been a relative success. I watched Gandhi, it was exceptional. Worth the nigh three hours it took to watch it and then some. I recommend it to one and all. The tale of a great man, doing amazing things without ever grabbing for power or being a bastard. A leader I can respect...those are few and far between.

After that I watched TV for a while and then watched the David Cross DVD, which was pretty cool. Not great tho. I'd give it a C+ rating. Better than average, but there was some kinda lame stuff. OK, it may push into B- territory, but only just.

After that I hit the fake poker room online and woo I pulled in a coupla hundred bucks. Had a mad rush with pocket rockets twice in 20 minutes. I may be startign to get the hang of this limit game somewhat. That's probably a good thing since most casinos have that and not low buy-in no limit. Of course, that's only if I ever get to go to a casino...we'll see.

Oh, I also beat most of Wario Ware today...although it's one of those games that you could play forever trying to beat your own high score. Don't know if I'll do it, but I may.

The pus is good lube

Now listening to: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Well today was pretty cool. Our trip to G-boro was nice. Got some cools stuff and had a good time. Had some Macaroni Grill action for lunch then shopped our little hearts out. I got Wario Ware for GBA and it is pretty cool so far. I also bought D&D Heroes used and Trip and I had a pretty good time playing that for like four hours.

After that I came home and goofed off for a bit. Drank a beer out of my new pint glass, woo. I also hit the poker room, and made a couple hundred bucks of fake money. Who's the man? Lots of fluctuation I'm noticing on that. I'm up and down a lot, guess that's just poker.

We rocked... so hard

Now listening to: Louis Prima (Oh Marie)

Well poker was considerably more successful. I went up big early, almost up a grand after last night. But then my rush came to a halt and I ended up only about $400 in play money. Oh well.

Geezers need excitement

Now listening to: The Streets (Original Pirate Material)

This album is great, especially with the wonderful Brittish slang. Can't get enough of that.

Work wasn't that bad tonight, went fairly quick and I was busy. Now I have a weekend to enjoy, oy.

Tomorrow Trip nad I are set for Greensboro, hopefully Corb will be up for it. Anyway I'm gonna play an hour of poker and then maybe read or play video games. Nite.

It's got to get better

What a night I'm having. I've been feeling pretty crappy all day and so I haven't budged from the couch. Finally I decide to get up and play some online poker and now I feel worse because I keep suffering bad beats. I've had two straights beat by flushes picked up on the river, my american airlines crashlanded to trip deuces! It's been awful, I'm down like $250 and falling. Now I keep getting crap hands. Lots of inside straight draws that I really can't see waiting on. Great another guy draws out on the river ot beat me...figures. I don't like this limit crap, you can't get rid of people.

Other than that I've just been in a vegetative state. I watched Sleepless in Seattle and then 8 crazy nights. I haven't even accomplished the entertainment goals I set for myself, I'm that lazy.

Gorilla Monsoon

Now listening to: Jane's Addiction (Strays)

Well It's evident that I'm bored and feel like writing, an oddity. I'm just bumming around the internet and not really finding anything terribly exciting. So I thought a nice ramble would be a good idea.

I saw a video for a Yeah Yeah Yeah's song today that really was nice. Had kind of a Joy Division feel to it, so I'm definitely looking for the cd now. I also still need to get that Joy Division boxed set. All readers note :Great Gift Idea!!!!

I'm also thinking of rebuying NCAA Football 2004, if I can find it cheap. I'm gonna write a column about it (I was inspired by the salon article). But I also miss leading UVa. to the national championship. I need to get broadband and hook it up online and see how I match up. My fear about getting the high speed connection is getting involved in one of the MMORPGs and becoming a total recluse. Not that I'm far from it now.

I fear I am nearing the end of my energy and need to go to bed. Hopefully I will be able to while away the hours tomorrow afternoon in some useful fashion. Maybe I'll restart FF Tactics Advance and watch Gandhi. It's a good 2.5 hours long so I'll be putting the afternoon to rest with ease. Nighty-nite.

The man that made Kool-Aid say Oh Yeah!

Now listening to: Talib Kweli

Another fun-filled day. Got to go home a little early due to the ice. Funny how just an hour makes all the difference. But the night wasn't too bad anyway.

I spent a large portion of it reading stuff on Salon. There was a cool video game article that Trip pointed me at. It was about sports icons and video games, how many relate to sports through video games more than actually watching the athletes play. Which I think is probably true. Also it linked to a couple of cool articles at ESPN's page 2 site. They were about the history of video game football and one guy's relation to it. Funny how many of those experiences I can relate with.

Reminds me of the old days of Tecmo tournaments. Or as Adam called it "Tecmo Lucky Breaks." That's an inside joke that only three or four people will ever get...none of whom will read this blog.

Driving home tonight was fun, didn't really have any problems until I got to my home and tried to stop and turned in. There I slid completely sideways, which made turning in easier I guess, but was a little harrowing. Now I've been watching TV for a while and am bored as nighttime tv is really pretty lame. The Daily Show is good and some of the late night talk shows have moments, but other than that it's lame.

I want to find a video game to get into, but nothing seems to grab me. I'm actually considering playing through FF Tactics Advance again. I'm also considering going back to the old school PS1 game. I dunno, I'd like to play something new and I have several options, but nothing is grabbing me. I keep reading about Culdcept, so I may try to trade for it this weekend or maybe the new Balder's Gate...or both! I also want to new Game Boy game as I seem to make more time for them. Maybe I'll try to find a cheap Pokemon game...or maybe not. Something in me balks when I think about it, but I've heard they are great games. Or maybe I'll try and find a cool old school puzzle game I can play on the go, like Snood.

Daddy's trying to score with a cheap floozy

Man I'm tired. It's late and I've had a busy day. Admittedly most of it was incredibly dull. Work was boring, then busy and then I came home and watched poker and Futurama. Now I'm preparing to go to sleep.

I did pay for my plane ticket today and managed to resist the urge to buy something to assuage my boredom at work. New maturity or poor selection at Circuit City? The world may never know.

I can feel the bile rising in the back of my throat

Tonight was ghastly boring at work. I did fuck all until about 9:30 when things came in. I then worked hard until 11:10 and then sat on my ass until after midnight. So that's eight hours pay for a scant 1:40 of actual work. I'd almost rather be busy.

Anyway tonight's paper was full of Valentine's Day ads, which annoy me. This is maybe the worst holiday ever. X-mas is bad enough and then you get hit with VDay, the special day that makes all us single folk feel completely inadequate. As if I don't feel that enough already.

In an effort not to become morbidly depressed, I am now going to make a top ten list of things that make me happy.

10. Dogs
9. Penguins
8. Poker on TV (that way there is no anxiety about losing)
7. Listening to it rain while snuggly under the covers.
6. Warm shirts that fit well
5. Good wine
4. A low stress trip out of town with friends
3. Reading a book that I don't want to end
2. Good punk rock
1. Breasts

These are in no particular order, although number one may stand.

These boots were made for limping

Now listening to: The Dismemberment Plan

Well I've frittered the day away by watching movies and TV. Very restful. I watched May, it was ok, nothing Special. I also watched Jim Jarmush's Stranger than Paradise. It was a recommended movie at Netflix and billed as a dark comedy. Frankly I didn't see any comedy. It was a lot of overly long, ponderous scenes about three weird people. Dullsville.

I also watched the UCB commentary stuff, which was excellent. Those guys rule. They mentioned that there are three seasons of UCB, so I now can't wait to see the other two.

I'm still feeling unwell, but not as bad, at least for the moment. Maybe I need a faith healer to cast out the demons. Where does one find a satanic faith healer?

Oh I talked to Adam. Apparently Greg found some plane tickets much cheaper than the ones I found so it will be considerably cheaper to go. We add a little layover, but it's worth the near $100 I'll be saving. I also found out that Mike's parents will be going at the same time. Which puts a bit of a damper on my enthusiasm. They are nice people, but I'm looking for some party time in NYC, not a chaperoned voyage. A little frustrating.

7-2 offsuit

Well yesterday was the poker tournament. I played ok, but in the main event didn't really catch a lot of cards. So I got put out. I then took part in a $10 winner take all side tournament and made the final table on that, but got busted with three jacks by a full house. I was still in but couldn't rebuild my stack. It was just one of those days.

Today I feel like crap again, sitting in a smokefilled room all day yesterday probably wasn't a good idea. I think I'm just gonna lay around, watch movies and play video games. Hopefully that'll help with some recooperation. I'm watching this movie May that's supposed to be a horror movie, but so far it's just been a lot of talk.

I assure you it will be humane

Now reading: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Finally off work. It was the trying day I had anticipated. Lots of work and not much chance to goof off and coughing the whole time. But now I have reached my reward, two days off. Ahhh.

I am scheduled to play in the poker tournament tomorrow and hoping all goes well with that. I do have to rise fairly early for it, but that't the price that has to be paid to get in the game. My strategy is to not lose all my money. Smart play if you ask me.

Well I'm off to the world of Zaphod Breeblebrox and Marvin the Paranoid Android. Ta!

Sassifrassindagnabit...

Well I feel fucking awful. The claritin/Nyquil combo didn't do me as right today. I wish I could just get over this sick thing. Arrggh.

Today is gonna blow. I have to do that story on the little kids basketball tournament, which is gonna suck. After that i get to do tons of layout. Yay. All while feeling like butt, it's terribly exciting.

The devil is six

WellI am now officially on two medications, which is the first time that has happened in a while (not counting various liquors and beers). I got some claritin (actually it's kroger brand, but shhh) and took that and now that I am nigh-ready for bed, I had a nice cup of NyQuil (or its generic equivalent). I could drop at any minute.

Today was fairly slack. Had lunch with cousin Mike, which was ok then went to work for a while. Got a haircut, which I'm not sure if I like or not. Then hung with trip for a while playing some video games (I own him at Soul Caliber II and Tony Hawk).

Once I made it home (after my generic shopping) I watched the rest of the UCB stuff, well except for the extra stuff. Man do I love that absurd humor, pure genius. The little Donny episode may be the best dick joke of all time.

But there must be another season as there was no "Splangey" episode and no pro-thunder ball. I can't wait for them to get the second (and probably final) season out on DVD. I may try to go and see a show at the UCB theatre while I'm in NYC.

Now I must go collapse as the drugs have taken hold.

I always pay with ass pennies

Now listening to: Sleater-Kinney (One Beat)

My throat still hurts, but I'm actually in a good mood. My Upright Citizens Brigade DVD came along with this Sleater-Kinney album and both rock my fuckin socks off. UCB is so mighty, you haven't lived until you know the dangers of a poo stick. It's sidesplitting. Incidently, ass pennies are pennies that you would put in your ass and then spend. After so long you can be sure that whoever you deal with has had a penny that you had in your ass in their hand. This gives you a psychological edge in dealing with them.

This album is the shiz. These girls take off the gloves and pummel you with rock and roll goodness. I don't think I've actually bought an album this good in a long while. Well maybe Embrace and Rites of Spring...or the Shins, whatever, this shit drops it old school.

Had Trip's B-Day thingee, which was a bit abbreviated, but fun. We got him Counterstrike for Xbox, which he seemed to enjoy. Now he and I have to find something for Danny's B-Day in Feb.

I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron

Now watching: American Choppers

Well it's been a pretty relaxing couple of days. I haven't really done much. Enjoying the snow and kicking back. The only problem has been my throat has been kinda sore and my sinuses are draining. Not pleasant. Mom thinks I should go to the doctor, but man I hate that crap. A doctor's office is the only business where you make an appointment for 10 a.m. and they expect you to sit there and wait for two hours before the doc sees you, even when you show up on time. I've been late to stuff, but I've never expected someone to wait two solid hours. It's ridiculous.

Other than that not much has went on. The poker game was snowed out unfortunuately and so I sat at home and did nothing. Well not nothing, I did watch Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and take a nap. Those were important activities. Oh and I couldn't stop eating, which is bad. I continue to swell at an insane rate.

Today I was anticipating a dreadful drive into town for work, but was saved at the zero hour. There were no less that 10 messages on the machine when I got up (I'm the only one who can delete them apparently) and four of them were from work, notifying me of an early press time. No surprise. So I made a couple of calls and talked to Andy so he wouldn't have to come in and he just volunteered to work for me since his drive was shorter and less treacherous than mine. So that was cool.

So instead I spent another day of slackness on the couch, watching TV. I got the 25th Hour (Spike Lee's latest) in the mail today and watched it. Ed Norton is just good, he plays great characters that you can't help but to relate to. Did I mention Anna Paquin is hot, as is Rosario Dawson. I think that's about it. I think I'm gonna goof off online for a while, then do some reading.

Howdy, name's Hank Himmler

Well today was spent goofing off. Trip and I had dinner at El Parral, where I ordered way too much. Then we rented a coupla movies and watched them with Corb. We watched A mighty wind, the new Christopher Guest mockumentary. It was a little slow really. Kinda funny, but not the best. Plus folk music...not really funny.

We also watched Fletch lives and it was quite good. Chevy Chase doing what he does. Good stuff. Need to get those Fletch movies on DVD...they'd be good to see on the regular. Sharpen up my asshole sidetalking skills.

I also watched the end of Mulholland Drive today. Some hot chicks in the movie, but it was typical David Lynch.

Tommorrow is the poker game. Wondering if I'll do well. Hard to say, but I definitely need to work on my skills before the tournament next week.

Life interrupted

So I get to wake up to a lot of banging and rattling this morning as they continue to work on the pipes. So that's fun. Not to mention the fact that I can't pee or brush my teeth until that guy leaves...makes for a nice way to start the day. Finally that guy finished and left and my bladder got relief. So now I'm not seeing the world with a yellow tint.

Last night I finally found an online casino that's Mac compatible, plus it has poker for funsies, which is good. I'm not really up for paying for online poker at this point. Need to test my skills a little more before going for the big bucks.

Hopefully work won't be too painful today and I can get my wekend started.

United States of Whatever

Now listening to: Sonic Youth (Confusion is sex)

Work was tedious as always. My basketball game couldn't have been less interesting. Plus I got to not take a shower before work because there is a leak somewhere underneath the apartment adn they were looking for it, so I smelled like beefass all day. I was unthrilled.

I read a bunch of "The Biggest Game in Town" at dinner. It's about the World Series of Poker and includes a snapshot of the Binion's Casino circa 1981. It's pretty interesting stuff. Good stories from Poker's old guard.

I'm currently looking up airfares for my trip to NYC and can't really find any good deals. Kinda annoying. The cheapest flight I can see is $234, which is around 34 too expensive really. OK expedia hooked me up. It's still more than I would like, but $210 is workable for nonstop both ways. To book or not to book...hmm.

Days of blarg

Well I'm preparing for another day of work. It sucks. Have to do some wrestling interviews before I hit the basketball game tonight. Not looking forward to it. I'm just in a bleah mood anyway.

I finished Digital Fortress last night and it was pretty good. Lots of twists. Seemed like it went on a little longer than it should have at the end. Not sure what I'm gonna read next.

Is it Friday yet?

Drink Deep

Now listening to: Rites of Spring followed by Teenage Fanclub

I'm feelign kind of down. My uncle Bob is dying of cancer and likely to go this week. Sucks. The males in the Cardwell line are notoriously bad at dealing with the death of those close to them and I'm no exception. We have a tendency to avoid contact with the ill and try to stay away from funerals and their trappings. I know some people need that closure, but I'm not really one of them. I'm good at dealign with things alone most of the time and all the accoutrements of death seem superfluous and hurtful to me.

Now that I've brought everyone down I'll shift gears. This weekend went ok, watched football, relaxed and trip and I went to Greensboro. Had a pretty good time.

Today work was painless and I got out at a decent hour. Now I need to get down and do some poker reading to prepare for the weekend. I also hope to read some more Digital Fortress. Not sure which will take precedence.

America Online in England

Now watching: Mullholland Drive
Now reading: Dan Brown (Digital Fortress)

Well it's been a busy afternoon. I got up when my brother called me to help him cancel his America online account. Since he's in England it doesn't work for him. I pointed out the irony of getting AMERICA online while you're in Britain but he wasn't amused. Anyway I have to try and take care of that.

Then I talked to Adam for a while, I now have to book our flight, yay. And then I talked to Mike Weaver, who will be playing poker with us on Sunday, if I can get a game up.

I also put some stuff in my new address book. Filled in the blanks as it were. I'm now watching Mulholland Drive and it's a typical confusing David Lynch movie. Loosly strung together narrative with odd dialogue and weird characters. Some interesting shots and a definite touch of a magical undercurrent.

Trip seems to think that I've been slacking off on my updates so this is a quick one for him. Bitch.

Glazed ham

Now: finishing up work, well...actually killing time until I can go.

A rather uneventful day so far. Watched Storytelling (another Todd Solondz film featuring no likable characters but is somehow entertaining) and some more firefly.

I then came to work and wrote a dull game story of last night's fiasco and then proceeded to hit the layout scene. Dullsville. But not a bad night really, so far no crises.

My plan is to go home and drink some wine, maybe watch still more Firefly and finish the series out or perhaps read. I finished Animal Farm at dinner. It was definitely worth the little time it took me to read. Not sure what's next on my list.

Must find something cool to do tomorrow. Mayhap I'll spend the day playing Beyond Good and Evil and try to finish it out on Monday. That way I can catch up with Trip who has destroyed the game already.

As for the title of this post, there is no real reason for it. Just a surreal moment of a fat guy.

Sweet Zombie Jesus

Well the decision comes tomorrow. I'm going car shopping with mom and I need to figure out what I'm gonna do. Stress....building...must retain slack nature...

Watched a bunch of Firefly today. Great show and, of course, its cancelled. Hoping there will be a movie. Thinking I may go watch some more now. Not really a lot to report at this time. Work=boring, life=mindnumbing, sex life=nonexistent. That pretty much covers all the bases.

I always wanted to get into gooning

Now watching: World Poker Open

Today kinda blew. I didn't do much really, but I did make it to work. Had dinner and felt awful. I left work early I felt so bad. Not good. After I got home and hit the bathroom and some pepto I felt better.

I'm feeling a little bored. I'm not sure what I want to do, again. I'm thinking maybe watch firefly or maybe do some reading.

I forgot to call my cousin and confirm trip and my spot at the poker tournament. I have to remember to do that tomorrow. I still need to get up a local game for some practice.

Bleah

I have got to stop sleeping all damn day. I didn't get up this afternoon until almost 2 p.m. and so I have next to no time before work to do anything. It sucks. I'm tempted to call in sick this afternoon, but don't know if it's a good idea. It'd probably be better just to go ahead and get it over with.

I watched the celebrity poker showdown finale last night. It was cool, lots of talk about tells and whatnot. I wanted David Cross to win, but Nicole Sullivan played well and had the cards. It was entertaining. I particularly liked it when the other losers came into the Loser's Lounge to chat. Had kind of a Dean Martin anything can happen vibe for a minute...especially since everyone is drinking.

Anyway I need to go an salvage the last few minutes of relaxation before work.

Quality time

Yarrggh. Another day to ponder things. Work looms and my desire to go is, as always, lacking. Last night, instead of reading I played Beyond Good and Evil. It was pretty cool, some well integrated puzzles.

I'm not sure what I want to do today. I probably should get out of here early and go price cars, but I don't think I'm in the mood. I'm considering putting off the whole process indefinitely. Or at least until after my New York trip. The only problem is that leaves me out in the cold, literally.

Perhaps I'll just lay around all afternoon and stare off into space until I've got to go into work.

Your emotions are nothing but politics

Now listening to: Rites of Spring

Have felt overcome by an undeniable sense of dread all day. I thought about my monthly expenses and how a car payment is going to affect them. I'm not happy about it. I hate my current debt and now I'll be accruing more. I'm considering just putting a new top on the jeep and trying to tough it out for a while and use the car payment money to reduce my credit card debt. May be a good idea, but a new car would be nice. I don't know what I want to do.

Listening to Embrace earlier, they have a song called "Money." It's an indictment of our consumerist society that emphasizes the continual effort to collect more and more things. The innate self indulgent nature of capitalism. While I do agree with this intellectually, I find it difficult to not want more. Of course I am probably under the monentary level of the people this song targets, but I still feel like a bit of a hypocrite as I realize that possessions don't really make my life better, but I continue to chase after them.

On a related note I saw details on a big unadvertised video game sale at Circuit City. I may have to check it out and see if it's legit. Although the last thing I really need is more video games. I have tons I haven't played.

I did go to the library after Trip and I had dinner and checked out a couple of books. "Animal Farm" and this novel some how related to Sei Shonagan and her pillow book. I'm gonna try to finish Animal Farm tonight, which shouldn't be a problem unless I get distracted. I did manage to waste too much time watching crappy Monday night TV.

in the numbing span of eternity even the most monstrous among us need love

Now listening to: Elvis Costello (Brutal Youth)

A relatively slack day. Watched some football and hung with Trip and Corb. Mom saw an ad in the paper for a 2003 Toyota Echo with under 600 miles on it for under $10K. It was at a Nelson Dealership (I loathe Nelson), but the price is nice. The problem currently is that to get the advertised financing I have to put $1000 down, which I don't have. Plus it only has a cassette deck, which blows. I'd have to put a cd player in it, which is more money I don't have. I'm in a quandry.

I'm going to go look over it tomorrow and see what they have to say. I may also ask about their gallants, although I like them less and they have more mileage. I hate the whole new car thing, more debt, more responsibilty, less being able to just do what I want, when I want.

Anyway, while watching football Trip, Corb and I played Castle Risk and I got annihilated quick. Corb seems to have a knack for world domination. Be afraid. I ended up playing my game boy so it all worked out I suppose. I'm nearing the end of Fire Emblem, but it's getting ridiculously hard.

I finished "The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break." It's sad how much I can relate to the struggles of a freakish mythical beast put into modern times. The book was a little depressing, but pretty good. Not sure what's next on my list. Perhaps Dostoyevski's "The Gambler" or I may get back into "The Hero With a Thousand Faces." After reading "The DaVinci Code" I'm pretty interested in reading analysis of mythology. That reminds me, I need to google symbology and see what come's up.

Most painful eliminations

Now listening to: embrace

Well I successfully did absolutely nothing on Friday. It was nice. Lots of slackness. Today I had to work and that sucked. I won't bitch about it as I have nothing new to add to my endless rants about work. Same ol' shit.

Mom did let me drive her car instead of suffering through a jeep ride. I am scheduled to get a new car on Friday, so let's hope nothing happens between then and now.

Got my coat in the mail today, doesn't fit and I'm pissed about it. I know I'm fat, but shouldn't I be able to purchase clothes in my size? It's all so frustrating.

Adam called me on Friday and mentioned going to NYC for Mike's B-day and hanging out there. I couldn't think of a reason to say no and so I'm heading out there. It'll be my first flight. I'm looking forward to it. Now if I can just save some cash up beforehand. I hate that I'm bad with money. I just spend it, that's what I do. I have so many interests that I always have something I want. The price of being eclectic.

Nailed to my forehead

Now listening to: Still more Shins

It's cold. I'm caught between books and not sure what to read now. I should probably be doing some reading for the poker tournament, but I'm not in the mood right now. I don't really know what I want to do. I thought about watching a movie, but nothing really jumped out at me. I don't feel like video games and of course my book conundrum. I'm left doing nothing and feeling guilty about it.

I'm kinda hungry but nothing seems appetizing. I think I'm just in a contrary mood and won't be satisfied no matter what happens.

I think the poker game I was trying to put together on Sun. has all but fell through. One of my coworkers seemed less interested when he realized football was on at that time and pretty much sold out. That leaves three players, which is too few. I'm a bit put off.

It's supposed to snow tonight and that is both a good and bad thing. Good as I won't have to drive to Patrick County and watch a basketball game tomorrow night, bad because I'll probably have to go in and write another stupid story. I miss when a snow day meant that you were absolved from work that day. Snow is also bad as the snow may delay the delivery of my new coat even longer and I really could use it.

Fighting in a sack

Well I've been making good on my promise to do a lot of reading this week. I'm almost finished the DaVinci Code and have read Poker Wisdom of a Champion by Doyle Brunson and finished the Buddha of Suburbia. I rock.

The DaVinci Code is excellent. I enjoy it's biblical conspiracy theory and have little doubt a lot of it is true. That's the way these things work. It's all about the grasp for power.

Other than reading not much has gotten done. I've watched some poker on tv and went to several basketball games, which hasn't been so bad. Watching the Reno World Poker Tour thing on the Travel Channel was a little bit of a letdown tho. T.J. Cloutier, a poker legend, went out on the second hand and I wanted to see him get into the action. Very disappointing.

It has decided to become winter in a big way again and I am suffering the consequences. Still no new car and I can't find the title to my jeep. This sucks. It's supposed to snow tomorrow and I'm not really looking forward to it.

My head's like a kite

Now listening to: The Shins (Chutes too narrow)

Well I did manage to make it to work for a little while. I wrote a soulless story and then left. I went to circuit city and bought Beyond good and evil for the PS2 for $10. There was a big sale and I took advantage. The game is pretty cool so far, although Im not that far into it.

After plaing it for an hour, I decided to watch some tv and flipped between Billy Madison, Castaway and American Choppers. My cousin Mike called and invited me to a poker tournament on Super Bowl Sunday with a $50 buy-in. I don't know if I have to work then or not, but I'm gonna try to get it off and play. I need to do some serious reading tho. After another losing session to trip my confidence isn't what it was (although I did ok and then just got moody and more or less gave up).

Anyway after that it occured to me how much reading I need to do. I still need to finish the Buddha of suburbia (which about halfway through starts to pick up a lot). Mom also brought me the Davinci Code from the library so there is that, plus the need to study poker stuff.

This Shins album gets better every time i listen to it. It's switches between a beautiful starkness and a lush playground. Plus there are some great lyrics, I'm gonna pick up their first album next time I get a chance.

Beyond good and evil

I'm not feeling very well today. I'm glum. It's all rainy and I'm annoyed at the world. I don't want ot work and am considering calling in sick, although that's probably a bad idea. It started last night, Trip and I were playing poker and a mood just hit me. I ended up practically giving him my last six bucks just to go. After that I came home and tried the normal avenues of escape from reality and finally went to bed.

This morning I was awoken by some moron banging on the door for 10 minutes. I thought it was downstairs, but Bill finally got up and let him in. Apparently he was here to fix something in hte bathroom. So after much beating and banging to keep me awake (not to mention unable to pee) he left and I nodded off. Now I'm just in a foul mood for no reason at all.

Anyway I think I'm just gonna finish watching the Tick and play fire emblem until I have to decide whether to go to work or not.

An interesting day

Now listening to: The Shins

As the title suggests today was intriguing. Went to Greensboro with friends who choose to remain anonymous. We had a pretty good time. I did a little shopping, got some new hats and socks as well as spending too much on books. We then decided to try some place new to eat and hit the Gate City Chop House. It was amazing, the best steak I've ever had. I had a nice merlot to go with it and everything was fantastic. Maybe the best meal I've ever had. I look forward to returning.

After the meal, we were still in a new experience kind of mood I suppose and I jokingly suggested the exotic car wash. Somehow we ended up there and had nearly naked women cleaning our car. Now traditionally I'm not a fan of strip clubs and the like, they make me feel weird and like some kind of leering, mindless oaf incapable of securing attention from a woman without paying her (which is closer to the truth than I care to get into). But the attitude of one of the girls there made me more at ease this time.

Of course, the fact that I'm seeing attractive, naked women and not allowed to do anything about it is still very frustrating. The blood had drained from my brain into other areas and I was horned up for the evening. One of my cohorts had this same thing happen clearly as we missed our exit, not once but twice.

There is also the realization later, after the blood had returned to my brain, that I'm missing out on a big part of life here. I'd like to see naked women on the regular...actually I'd be more than willing to settle for one specific naked woman on the regular to hang out with in addition to the oggling. Seeing this attractive girl eager to please me (to a point) makes me wish for that sort of behavior regularly with someone I don't have to have a financial transaction with to get it. To put it simply, naked chicks make me lonely in the long run.

After the trip I came home and read one of the books I bought today. It was called "Kissing in Manhattan" and was pretty good. A series of related vignettes about people living in the Preemption Building in New York. Stories about sex, relationships and life with a mystical touch.

I can't come around down here

Now listening to: Frank Black

I can't tell if I'm tired or just so bored from work that I can't think straight. It was DULL tonight. I spent most of the evening trying to find something interesting on the internet and failing.

My new year's was relatively uneventful. Went to Trip's and watched the UFC pay per view...which was simply reruns and was pretty dissappointing. We played Lord of the Rings Risk and I won, which was pretty cool. Not really an exceptionally good time, but, all in all, pretty high on my list of new year's celebrations.

I'm supposed to be going car shopping with Mom tomorrow. It could be an excruciating exercise, as Mom can be a handful and I loathe car salesmen. I hate pushy people and salesmen are trained to be pushy. I'm hoping to find a reasonably priced used import sedan. Nothing flashy, I just want the mobility at a decent price.