Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Highly erroneous ratings

So today was the Techmo Lucky Breaks Fantasy Football League draft and The Evil Penguin emerged from nefarious antarctic depths to take part. As such, I now offer my opinion on who navigated the treacherous waters of the TLB draft onto eternal glory and who was pulled down to the murky depths of fantasy ignominy.

This is completely based on my opinion and in no way intended to offend anyone. There is a lot of parity in this league, top to bottom so I'm going purely on which team seems most complete and has players I believe in more than others. Things can change fast in the NFL with an injury here or there and clearly my fallibility is undeniable after my lackluster showing last season. So a grain of salt is called for in this situation. Anyway, on to the rankings.

  1. Dallas Danglers - You have no idea how much it pains me to rate the dreaded Danglers first. I really don't want to do it, but in the interest of honesty I must. On paper his team is complete. His big concern would have to be what happens if SJax, Torry Holt and St. Louis in general can't bounce back from so many injuries last season. Also, will Frank Gore shit the bed in Mike Martz's new offense? If those two don't produce do the Danglers will be flaccid at best. Still, a bevy of talent at WR could be enough to penetrate into playoffs.
  2. The Zors - Another team without any major weaknesses coming out of the draft. Solid RB starters, including one LaDainian Tomlinson and backups with lots of upside. His WR depth could be an issue, but he could make it work with only two and his stable of RBs. Also, I'm not really sold on the Colts's undersized defense staying healthy all season long, but that's nitpicking.
  3. The Evil Penguin - I debated rating myself first because I do like my draft. The first three rounds went exactly as I hoped, aside from Drew Brees not falling to me. I feel like I did a solid job despite picking 10th overall and came up with a nice mix of dependability and potential. I'm worried that I reached for the Jacksonville D when I should have went with someone else. Also I may regret Larry Johnson, but the value was too good to pass up when I got him. If one of my sleepers wakes up The Evil Penguin may reign in unholy glory.
  4. Team Vipperman - Nick never has a bad draft and I honestly could have given him the top spot. I debated it, as a matter of fact, but some questions came to mind. Like the durability of Brian Westbrook and Andre Johnson. Also the fact that Laurence Maroney and MJD will have to deal with sharing the ball. Having lived throughthat very thing last season with MJD, watching as Fred Taylor stole the spotlight, I have concerns. That said, who can doubt our inaugural champion will find a way to stay competitive. The Lucky Breaks never seem to fail him.
  5. St. Nick Kringles - The Kringles draft scares me. That Brady to Welker thing could be huge. Add to it a solid group of proven WRs and Christmas may come early. (Yes I'm aware of how horrible that word play is.) The only coal in the Kringles' stocking is questions about how his RBs will play. Reggie Bush has yet to really break out and while he got real value on Julius Jones, who knows how he'll play in Seattle.
  6. Leesburg Leghounds - The more I look at the Leghounds' draft, the more I like it. It's an interesting strategy, going for top flight WRs and a stellar QB and then picking up lots of mid-to-lower tier RBs. If those RBs can bring in decent scores each week the Leghounds could be in the hunt once again. That said, there is a lot of risk here and that's why Adam is lodged in the lower half of this ranking.
  7. Heaven's Own - Had a hard time rating Heaven's Own. He has some players I made a point to avoid, but those guys could pay off. For example, Brandon Jacobs scares me with Ahmad Bradshaw and Derrick Ward both waiting in the wings. I also hate Willis McGahee But that may have as much to do with him being a Raven as anything else. Still, I think Kevin did find some very solid value in those later rounds of the draft, picking up David Garrad, who I think could be a sleeper, and Ricky Williams.
  8. Who is that guy? - The rookie comes in swinging and leaves with a decent team. Hard to find a lot of fault with his draft. May have reached out for an injured Antonio Gates a little early, but who knows. Gates gets healthy and he looks like a genius. Also having Heath Miller on the bench makes it easier to swallow. His WRs are the main cause for concern. Ocho Cinco is an unknown property this season and how many balls will Patrick Crayton be taking? Couple that with a bunch of meh backups and problems may arise.
  9. Innsmouth Fish Eyes - The Fish Eyes did a decent job early on, despite reaching for a few players. Then in the later rounds even Greg admitted to wishing he had done a little more research. His final roster didn't turn out too bad, but the presence of Muhsin Muhammad does not assuage my fears any. Still, don't sleep on the Fish Eyes, they have a solid core, with a few potential surprises.
  10. Hudson Street Hellraisers - Apparently there were some IT difficulties for the defending champs and his draft did not go exactly the way he planned. That said, his running backs don't inspire me much. He liked Adrian Peterson so much he actually drafted him twice! Not much else I can say, hard to rip someone for computer trouble during the draft.
So there it is, my in depth analysis. Hopefully not too controversial. Nobody likes being picked last, I know, but someone has to. I can avoid it by doing the picking, so it works out for me. Of course, there is solace in knowing that this rankings mean absolutely nothing in the end. The only thing that matters is who holds the dreadfully named Lamar Hunt trophy at the end of the season. Good luck to all.


Anonymous said...

YOu should call that thing the Mike Hunt Trophy, ya buncha pansies!

Anonymous said...

sweet good stuff E


Anonymous said...

6, eh? I see how it is.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to blame the computer, but hey, NO EXCUSES! Just go out there and win baby! I just checked and last year I was ranked 7th by EP9000. I'll take it as a good sign that I'm ranked dead last this year. Good Posting, Penguin!

The Hellraisers

Anonymous said...

EP9K, who does your mascot's make-up? I know a guy who knows a guy who would love to "take care" of your bird.