From off to on

Now listening to: The Knife

Well I've been monkeying with my design here again. I tried several different things and they all looked crappy. I decided to settle on this for the time being, because it's not bad. I'm not really sold on it all the way, but it will have to do for the moment.

I watched Art School Confidential and 21 Grams last night. ASC was less funny than I'd hoped. I'd rate it a Meh. at best. That's being fairly lenient I think. 21 Grams was powerful, but kind of a downer. What was the last movie Sean Penn was in that wasn't a total downer. He's always great, but it's usually depressing. Also I'm not sure if I liked to convoluted way it was shot. When I say I'm not sure, I mean I'm really torn about it. On one hand it kept you involved because it kept dropping in odd moments that made more sense down the road. On the other hand, it seemed an unnecessarily complex way of telling a story. I'd still give it a +1 chainmail rating overall cause the acting was phenomenal.

Tonight I watched the Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, which was really good. Honestly, I would have never watched this movie without Kevin basically forcing it on me. Tommy Lee Jones just doesn't usually draw me in, I start thinking Men in Black and get disinterested. But this is a really good story. I'm saying +1 chainmail for this too, definitely worth the time.

Down to three days before my vacation. I'm counting em down.

Boys go for looks, girls go for status

Now listening to: Swan Lake

It's been a fairly eventful couple of days. Sunday I rousted my ass after only 6 hours of sleep to watch the Steelers' game. I should have slept in, it was brutal. I don't even wanna talk about it. (Much to the relief of Yvonne.) After that game I headed to Trip's and we made our way to Chapel Hill.

Once there we rode around until we found the sushi place and man was that good. It had been too long. Yummy stuff. We had Ben and Jerry's afterward to fulfill the gluttony portion of our day. We then headed to Cat's Cradle to catch the show. The opening band wasn't bad, but also wasn't notable. I don't remember their name.

The second band, The Big Sleep, I liked a lot, enough to buy their cd. It's very good. Trip, of course, loathed them. They are too challenging for him. Lots of feedback and noise, which I love. He needs his rock with training wheels attached. The headliner was The Hold Steady, which I've ranted about on here before. They were excellent, although a little less tight than the last time we saw em. Still pretty damn kickass.

So all told Sunday wasn't too bad. A horrible start, but a strong finish. Monday went fairly well for me. Trip and I grabbed some wings and then went to see Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny. I love me some D. I do have to admit that the movie could have been a lot better. It has some moments of total rocket sauce, but not near enough. I had hoped for more. I'm giving it a +1 chainmail rating, but it would be lower if the D weren't so damn awesome by themselves.

After we returned to Trip's pad, we watched some tv (How I Met your Mother and The Simpsons) and then I fucking SCHOOLED Trip at hockey. I mean, there are victories and their are ass beatings. This was decidedly the latter.

Egg, larva, pupa, adult

Recently I've been internally debating whether or not people can really change. I mean sure, you can do things a little differently, but don't most end up being the same person no matter what? It's like a stream of water, you can divert it to go somewhere else, but left untended it will go back to it's natural path of least resistance. I'm not really certain if people work the same way or not.

The impetus for this question is, of course, the fact that I have several things I'd like to change about myself. These changes seem to be very difficult, but all revolve around my own personal tendency to take the aforementioned path of least resistance. This leads me to accept a lot of mediocrity in my life. Of course, the one area where I absolutely refuse to have mediocrity I am an abject failure. So I'm not sure that changing would definitely make for an improvement.

At any rate, I've got a lot of thinking to do and perhaps some new things to try. I'll think about it later. Now I just need some Pepto and my pillow.

Let's give thanks for imperialism and genocide

Now listening to: The Dresden Dolls

Thanksgiving. Where the pilgrims were helped through a tough winter by Native Americans. The same Native Americans that they drove off their land and exterminated using small pox blankets. They had to do that so they could instill absurd puritanical sexual beliefs to scar America for centuries to come. I'll get off my intensely liberal soapbox now and let you enjoy your charred flightless foul.

So yeah, things I'm thankful for... Well I have a job. This time last year I was pretty far up Shit Creek and lacking a means of conveyance. Now I have a lot of that sorted out. I still have a long way to go to get where I want to be, but I've made definite headway. Lots of that is attributable to my friends, to whom I am eternally thankful (I don't know if whom is right used there, I never learned that rule since it seems so extraneous.)

I'm pretty thankful for my Mom too, cause she keeps me up and running even if it's a huge pain in the ass for her. Can't imagine what my life would be like without her there, I wouldn't have accomplished even the small things I've done up til now.

Anyway I could probably be thankful for days, but I ain't gonna do it. Don't you people know the real spirit if this season is going to the mall and buying loads of shit you don't really need? Maybe getting into a fistfight over the new super vibrating Elmo game with all the bells and whistles.

Take you to brown town

Now listening to: Neutral Milk Hotel

So it was cold, windy, rainy and generally nasty today. I swear, driving to Trip's this evening it was darker as dusk than it usually is when I drive home from work at 2 a.m. I actually love this weather, the bleakness sings to my soul, if I have such a thing. But lets not debate the possibilities of immutable individuality contained within human beings.

I got to sleep in, which was nice. For me this means that my daylight time is significantly limited, but it's good to catch up on my sleep. Contrary to popular belief I don't usually get 8 hours a night. I then hung with Trip for a bit and we watched Slither, which was better than I thought it'd be. I'd say +1 chainmail. Some cool little joke things and decent gore. It had a nice concept and a sense of humor.

After that I tossed Trip a beating in hockey in retribution for his actions yesterday. Fear my mighty Penguins, for they are legion! Speaking of penguins, I read a disturbing thing today that mentioned that some penguins are moving toward extinction because of global warming. If ever there was a reason to halt global warming, it's this. (Well this and the continued existence of our species and life as we know it.)

After returning home I watched L4yer Cake, which is a cool British gangster movie, with some caper elements. Worth the time (foot massage). What is it about British gangsters that is so compelling to me.

Sadly I return to work tomorrow, so much for the holiday. Ahh well, I needs to get paid. I'm still trying to control my consumerist tendencies, but it gets harder as my nerd-desires go longer without being quenched. For example, you can get a 30-gig iPod for $250 now and I want one bad. But I must resist. Also I want an Xbox 360 and with the potential sale at Amazon on Thurs. I may procure one despite my better instincts.

I know about pain and suffering and being cold, but I just wanna fuck

Now listening to: Jane's Addiction

Soooooo not much went on the last couple of days. Watched some football, Steelers and Surly Caribou were both victorious (despite a stunningly low score by the Bou) and all is well on that front this week. Tonight Trip and I hung out, played some video games. I schooled him at Soul Caliber 3 and he had his vengeance in hockey. They grossly underrate my Penguins, but that's not entirely why I lost. I do kinda suck, especially on defense.

We also watched Squidbillies, which is undoubtedly the best show on television about hillbilly squids and their hijinks. Click that link and hit the fix up to see a brilliant 15 minute episode dealing with complex issues of dating, love, fidelity and truck-boat-trucks.

Hey speaking of hockey (a paragraph ago) I got the tickets to the Caps-Pens game that Adam, Rachel and I are attending. I'm stoked. Looking forward to heading up to civilization for a coupla days and doing this and that.

Ohh the title? That's a Jane's Addiction lyric that I appreciate. It's my mission statement these days.

Before bed rambling

Apparently I'm not updating enough to satisfy some of my law enforcing readers. That's how it goes when you have to do actual work instead of sitting in your car eating donuts. Hehe.

Honestly there is not much to tell. I bought Soul Caliber 3 for my PS2 (which has become officially antiquated as of 8 a.m. yesterday) and have spent too much time with that. I've also been reading Neil Stephenson's Cryptonomicon which is quite good. More about that when I've finished it. Ohh, I also watched The Breakup, the Vaughnifer vehicle, and it was ok, nothing exceptional really (Meh.). I mean it has some cool Vince Vaughn moments, but I'm accustomed to greater things. Ohh and Jennifer Aniston is hot, I'll give her that.

What I should be doing instead of all of those things is writing. I've been working on a couple of ideas during my commute. (Gives me something to do besides dwell on self hatred.) I think I've more or less worked out what I'm gonna write for my grad app. Still there is the process of taking that out of my head and putting it into real words and that can be time consuming.

Something just isn't right pretty much always

Blarg. I'm in the middle of my weekend and I'm not sure how to fill the time. I need to be doing something other than staring at a screen for hours on end, but what? It's Monday so no one else wants to do anything and I need to not spend a ton of money anyway. I dunno I'm just bored of doing the same old thing. I need more social interaction.

I dunno, I'm just bitching. I suppose I'm a bit jealous that Mike, Nick and Adam flew down to Miami to see the Chiefs-Dolphins game. They're off partying while I'm stuck working. Bah, it's my own fault, I gotta pay my dues now after being slack for so damn long.

I did finish Accelerando and it was good, although the ending kind of dissappointed me. Still well worth the effort (foot massage). Ohh and I finished watching Godard's My Life to Live, which is about a woman who finds herself becoming a prostitute. I can't say I really liked it, it was a series of marginally related scenes and didn't involve me as much as I'd like.

In other news, I got my packet from Hollins University and looked over the requirements for admission. If I do the creative writing program I need to do just that, write creatively, for the application. I also need three letters of recommendation and have no idea who to get to write them. Who knows if my college profs will do it since it's been so long since I was there. The people I worked with at the Bulletin I have either drifted away from or hated from the start. My antisocial nature bites me on the ass once again.

pushing past the current possibilities

I feel like ass. It all started last night when I at some chicken and my body rejected it immediately and violently. Unpleasant. Then I wake up a half hour before the alarm because my arm is numb because my melon head is lying right on top of it. By the time I drift back off, it's time for the alarm to go off and I feel like total ass. I debated calling in sick, but decided to tough it out. Work was fairly uneventful and I stayed busy so it went fairly quickly.

Now I'm back to filling ill and tired. I need to get back to walking and eating better, but it's damn hard. I'm gonna try to reinstate it on Sunday, but I may be exhausted from work and distracted by football. We'll see.

I finally finished reading The Prestige, which was pretty good (maybe foot massage, but more likely +1 chainmail). I want to see the movie now, but will probably wait for DVD. It's just easier and less annoying than the theatre. But yeah, the story is pretty good. It's about a feud between to 19th century magicians. It gets a little odd at the end, but that's part of the charm.

I'm now reading Charles Stross' Accelerando which is excellent so far. It's a cyberpunk tale that is a decidely 21st century novel. It keeps pushing new ideas and information at you constantly, like a less sucky MTV dialed up to eleven. Lot of ideas about people becoming "posthuman" which is a concept that fascinates me.

Known racist and Virginia senator... maybe not

So I exercised my franchise today. As cynical as I am I do try to take advantage of the advantages a democracy brings. Too bad I'm surrounded by absurdly conservative people who base their lives on a book written 2000 years ago and translated more times than you would believe. But yeah, I figure that if you don't vote you shouldn't complain. So I vote... and complain. The circle is complete.

I'm listening to the new Badly Drawn Boy album, which is pretty good. I think this is an album several of my more middle of the road readers would like. It's got a nice mellow rocky vibe, but with depth. It's not my usual brutal metal or anarchistic punk, more mainstream.

Edit:Looks like I was lamenting an Allen win too early and Webb may have pulled it out. Maybe Virginia is less dumb than I thought. But just barely.

Flames of Icarus

A low key birthday for yours truly. Went to High Point and had dinner with Trip and his girl. Had a pretty good time. Got our TGIFriday's on, and they have some intriguing appetizers. We went with the fundido, which is both tasty and fun to say. Fun-Di-Do. It's like a party in your mouth... That sounds like a bad joke waiting to happen, so I'll stop.

Since I got home I've basically just futzed around on the net, not doing much. I did read the Marvel Zombies comics, which was interesting. Basically all your favorite heros had been transformed into zombies and had eradicated almost all human life on earth. Loads of fun. Zombies and superheroes, two great tastes that taste great together.

I'm also listening to the most recent Ministry album, Rio Grande Blood, which is wonderfully brutal. I recommend Assclown to anyone who isn't a big Bush fan.

subtracts and divides

So it's been a pretty shitty football day for me. Steelers, lose. Caribou, have a tenuous 10 point lead, but have three players left to face on Monday night, including both starting backs. Not good. I was so disheartened by the Steelers' fumblitis that I packed up and went to Kev's where we watched the Colts-Pats game. It seemed like the Pats kept forgetting that their rushing attack was slapping the Colts' D and just decided to pass a lot and lost.

It was cool hanging with Kevin, although I was stunned driving up there. I don't need to be on that road any more than I have to at this point. Too much time to think and let my negative mindset take hold. Still it was worth it to get to hang some. Plus I ended up swiping a bunch of his DVDs to watch.

Speaking of DVDs, I just watched Fugazi's Instrument, which was pretty good. It follows their career with different shows, interviews and whatnot. Interesting stuff for those who want to know more. Fugazi is one of those seminal bands that really affected my world view. They have a different way of looking at things and I'm a better person for having heard it and trying to apply some of it to my life, even if I fall short of the ideal quite often.

Murder train a-comin

After a brutal work week I am finally free. Today I enjoyed the first of four days off and that was nice. I went to my grandma's 80th birthday party. It wasn't too bad. Lots of older people that I really have no idea about, but whatever. I got to see most of the relatives I like, so that was good.

Ohh, one thing I can complain about is the fact that when I arrived home at 7a.m. this morning I got out of my Jeep and smelled gasoline. I check underneath and, sure enough, gas is dripping. So now instead of being free for time off, I get to stay in and wonder if my Jeep will be back on the road by the time I have to be at work. If not, I'm fucked. It's pissing me off.

Anyway, after the party I went to Trip's for a minute (in Mom's car) and we watched a Hellboy cartoon he had taped. It was pretty good, most of the same people from the movie. Trip was less enthralled and slept through a significant portion of it.

It's late (early?) and I'm headed for some sleep. Maybe I'll be able to rise before the first games start tomorrow.