Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Rubber dicks slathered to the hilt in peanut butter?

Let me explain the title of this post before it gets out of hand. It's a direct quote from a movie I watched tonight entitled "Die You Zombie Bastards!" I'll start by saying this is a bad movie, but it's aware of how bad it is and just tries to have fun with it. Which, somehow, makes it ok. It's got the production values of a Gwar concert, horrendous acting, silly special effects, innumerable dick jokes, gratuitous nudity and a wholly silly plot line.

It's wonderful. I couldn't stop laughing at it's complete lack of shame. I mean, it has "Rubber dicks slathered to the hilt in peanut butter?" in the script somewhere, how can you not laugh at the absurdity of that. You aren't capable of laughter if that random line doesn't make you laugh. I'm saying it's filet mignon at the least, but I suppose how other people could see it as straight torn colon. It really depends on your tolerance of silly horror concepts and your sense of humor.

I also watched Doomsday tonight, which I can't really recommend. It sent mixed messages. It kinda wanted to be a political statement film, but it also wanted you to leave your brain at the door. It's not horrible, but the reality it's set in is just silly. Overall the best part of the film would have to be the ass of the heroine. It's shaq-fu at best.

While I'm typing this I'm listening to The Fantomas Melvins Big Band show on I'm not really big on the Fantomas really, but I love the Melvins more and more. The show is pretty good if you're into thunderous guitars and noise. I find myself rarely in the mood for this type of thing, but when I am nothing else will do.


Anonymous said...

An anal fissure is a cut or tear occuring in the anus (the opening through which stool passes out of the body) that extends upwards into the anal canal. Fissures are a common condition of the anus and anal canal and are responsible for 6-15% of the visits to a colonic and rectal (colorectal) surgeon. They affect men and women equally and both the young and the old. Fissures usually cause pain during bowel movements that often is severe. Anal fissure is the most common cause of rectal bleeding in infancy.

Anal fissures occur in the specialized tissue that lines the anus and anal canal, called anoderm. At a line just inside the anus--referred to as the anal verge or intersphincteric groove--the skin (dermis) of the inner buttocks changes to anoderm. Unlike skin, anoderm has no hairs, sweat glands, or sebaceous (oil) glands and contains a larger number of somatic sensory nerves that sense light touch and pain. (The abundance of nerves explains why anal fissures are so painful.) The hairless, gland-less, extremely sensitive anoderm continues for the entire length of the anal canal until it meets the demarcating line for the rectum, called the dentate line. (The rectum is the distal 15 cm of the colon that lies just above the anus and rectum and just below the sigmoid colon.)

eric said...

An anonymous anal fissure post... how charming.