This is how I spent three hours on a Friday night

This gets harder every year. Every team had a solid draft. Even the autodraft didn't completely screw over VA Sixpack (although it wasn't good to him either.) Toughest draft we've had so far, easily.

But I'll put forth my best effort to make my picks relevant. In the past I've done pretty well. My first year of doing these rankings was less informative, but dead on. I believe I nailed the top three performers that season. Boom! And look that was when Adam was The Vendetta... intimidation tactic that did not pan out. Haha, good times. The 2007 rankings did not turn out near as well. Way off. Last year I got the top three correct, but had Hudson Street dead last and he was probably the top team all season (but I managed to nab him in the playoffs and then take the title, which brings me so much joy.) You'll note I've ranked myself third every year, consistency is key.

So there's your historical precedent. I'm not completely full of shit, but have been known to miss the mark plenty. It's also important to note that a good draft doesn't give you a title. It takes hours of dedication, wasting your life following NFL minutia and plugging in the right player at the right time. And, of course, the lucky breaks. I'll finish by saying that these are purely based on how I rank players, which is certainly not always (or maybe even often) correct. So here we go.

1. Team Anderson - Apparently Mr. Anderson has forsaken his Hellraising ways, but he still had the devil's luck in the draft. His RBs are potent (probably half the league moaned when he took Steve Slaton.) He's kinda married to San Diego's passing game, but that may not be a bad thing (playing Oakland, KC and Denver is probably gonna help those rankings huh.) Personally I think TO isn't gonna be great in Buffalo, but who can say with that nutbag? So Anderson nudges out the top spot by the narrowest of margins.
2. LEESBURG LEGHOUNDS - I gotta tell you, I'd have ranked Adam first if he hadda taken a real player instead of Knowshon Moreno. Ok, that's a little harsh, but Denver has like 10 RBs and no commitment to anyone of them. I don't believe in him. I don't. Also with only three RBs on his roster that could be a concern, but pretty nitpicky. Love his WRs (wanted Desean Jackson, you bastard.) Gonna be dangerous. Naturally he hates his draft, because he's never happy with what he's got in fantasy.
   
3. FSU WARCHANT - I suspect the warchant will be heard all over the TLB field this season. Cal makes his triumphant return to the TLB league after a brief hiatus with a undeniably good draft. His WRs are impressive all the way down, his RBs all have solid upside, he starts Peyton Manning, solid bench. Damn, I keep looking for a hole to poke in this draft, but can't find one. No weaknesses.
   
4. DALLAS DANGLERS - I will not make a dick joke. I will not make a dick joke. I will not make a dick joke. Okay, now that that's out of the way. Mike and I usually seem to rank players the same way. That said I won't be trading for the cursed Cedric Benson again this year. What was I thinking? Hate that he took Megatron one pick ahead of me in the second round. The big questions for the Danglers are can Warner and Tomlinson stay healthy despite Father Time knocking on their door.
5. Evil Penguin - Tough to rate my own draft. This is the lowest I've given myself ever! What am I thinking? Gah... But, sadly, I think 5 is about right, but Kev. or Nick could easily take this spot. Dig my starting wideouts, but need MJD to come on full bore as the man in Jacksonville and Ryan Grant to stay healthy. Also wouldn't hurt to have one or two of the late round guys I took flyers on to pan out. Never know about those guys.
   
6. Heavens Own - Kev's gonna bitch about not being in the top five again, but I'm not gonna rate him ahead of me (just to fuck with him basically.) I'm not sold on Ochocinco after his lackluster season last year, but I also hate the Bengals. (AFC North enmity.) His receivers are solid otherwise and his running backs are serviceable if not spectacular. Also a lot of potential upside on his bench, although Michael Crabtree has screwed his value in my opinion.
   
7. Team Vipperman - Feels weird ranking Nick this low, but I don't care for a lot of his players. Reggie Bush has done nothing but disappoint and I'll have to see that change to believe it. (Of course, me writing that sentence makes it a certainty this season.) Also a big ol' ick to Braylon Edwards. He couldn't catch a cold last season. S Jax is also a injury risk (and plays in St. Louis), but I can't blame him for taking him with all that potential. The bench does hold several potential goodies that may come to fruition, so the jury is still out.
   
8. Innsmouth Fisheyes - I think I may be ranking ye olde Fisheyes this low more out of habit than actual talent. He's got a nice stable of RBs (although Fred Jackson gives me a little pause after Marshawn Lynch's three game suspension.) His wides are pretty solid, although Roy Williams needs to fill TOs shoes if Innsmouth is to cast it's horrible shadow over the TLB ranks.
   
9. greenlando mojens - Someone has to explain what this team name means. I got nothing and I feel like half a retard. The two-headed monster of the league up and committed themselves to the Falcons with Michael Turner and Matt Ryan. It could work out for them, but Atlanta's schedule looks pretty brutal. If I go down their roster player by player I couldn't say I dislike any particular player, but all told I just don't feel good about this draft. Just a gut feeling and clearly I listen to my gut way too much.
   
10. VA Sixpack - Ahh the Sixpack, the newest member of our lovable league of lowlifes. Called away to protect and serve during the draft and forced into auto draft picks. Not what he wanted I'm sure. It coulda turned out worse. I actually kinda like his bevy of backs and would be willing to break him into the league with a nice trade for one of them for some magic beans (I'm trying to beat Mike and Adam to the punch.) His WRs scare me tho. He has three and counts Brandon Marshall (with talks of being suspended for being difficult) and Antonio Bryant (who also always seems to be difficult only with less talent) as two of them. Still, a coupla tweeks and things could turn his way.

Well that's it. I always feel like a prick rating people low, but someone has to be there. I reiterate these are just my bullshit rankings so don't go all bitchcakes on me. Here's to a good season, good fun, close games and me winning a second title. (Had to sneak that in there.)