Sleep? It's overrated

A fairly eventful weekend so far. I pulled another all-dayer (that's an all-nighter to all you day dwellers, just with the times switched) and went to see my bro and his fam before they move to Mississippi. Had a good time. My lone complaint was when my nephew Cameron decided that Gabe and I weren't allowed to watch anymore of the Steelers-Eagles game and turned off the tv then absconded with the remote. It was kinda funny, but coming between me and the Steelers is a death warrant. It's a testament to my love of the little guy that he retained all his limbs. All said, a good time was had by all and I was happy to see them all. Gonna suck when they are out of reasonable driving distance.

The Steelers lost that game and I blame it all on my inability to watch and support the team. I'm an integral part of the winning process. One the upside, The Evil Penguin did manage to lock in a win over the struggling Fish Eyes this week despite some lackluster showings from my wideouts. I am now 2-1 and definitely in the hunt. Lots of drama in the Techmo Lucky Breaks league so far this season. Hopefully this sort of thing won't go on all season, it may be more than I can take.

In other sports news, Trip and I were playing the NHL 09 demo the other day and I happened to notice that I was passing the puck to Satan. That's right, in the offseason the Pittsburgh Penguins picked up right winger Miroslav Satan. So now Satan is now in Pittsburgh, which means evil is at home there... making them Evil Penguins! I really don't see any way they can be denied and the Stanley Cup is a lock. I may try to procure a Satan jersey at some point, if I can squeeze my fat ass into one.

I picked up the new TV on the Radio album, Dear Science. I haven't really had a change to absorb it so far, but what I've heard is good. Gonna take some more listening. I'll be amazed if it's as good as their last album Return to Cookie Mountain, not because it's bad, just because that thing was so amazing.

Rubber dicks slathered to the hilt in peanut butter?

Let me explain the title of this post before it gets out of hand. It's a direct quote from a movie I watched tonight entitled "Die You Zombie Bastards!" I'll start by saying this is a bad movie, but it's aware of how bad it is and just tries to have fun with it. Which, somehow, makes it ok. It's got the production values of a Gwar concert, horrendous acting, silly special effects, innumerable dick jokes, gratuitous nudity and a wholly silly plot line.

It's wonderful. I couldn't stop laughing at it's complete lack of shame. I mean, it has "Rubber dicks slathered to the hilt in peanut butter?" in the script somewhere, how can you not laugh at the absurdity of that. You aren't capable of laughter if that random line doesn't make you laugh. I'm saying it's filet mignon at the least, but I suppose how other people could see it as straight torn colon. It really depends on your tolerance of silly horror concepts and your sense of humor.

I also watched Doomsday tonight, which I can't really recommend. It sent mixed messages. It kinda wanted to be a political statement film, but it also wanted you to leave your brain at the door. It's not horrible, but the reality it's set in is just silly. Overall the best part of the film would have to be the ass of the heroine. It's shaq-fu at best.

While I'm typing this I'm listening to The Fantomas Melvins Big Band show on pitchfork.tv. I'm not really big on the Fantomas really, but I love the Melvins more and more. The show is pretty good if you're into thunderous guitars and noise. I find myself rarely in the mood for this type of thing, but when I am nothing else will do.

FedEx Field and sleep deprivation

I had a long day Saturday. So long, in fact, that it spilled over the entirety of Sunday as well. What I did was work all day Saturday and then ride with Kevin to D.C. for the Redskins game. Great game. We had nice seats and the free buffet. It was glorious. The game was excellent. Felt a little bad for Kevin that the Saints lost, but the second half was so good that it was hard to be too upset about it.

After that we drove home and my lack of sleep pushed me into whole new realms of silliness. Not sure how Kevin endured my rambling. Got back to Roanoke around 10 p.m. and I caught like a fourth or fifth wind. I wasn't tired at all. What I was was crazy. I was hyper, silly and loud. Good thing I was alone in my car. Bad thing I had a cell phone.

Still, it was a great trip and I have to thank Kevin again for hooking me up with the ticket. I've recently decided I need to spend more of my time doing something that's not in front of a tv or computer screen and this was perfect.

In fantasy news, Kevin and I are tied heading into the Monday night game. I got two players left to go and he has none, so things look pretty favorable. On the down side, we are having some serious drama with a scoring gaff causes by the EA website. It's always something with EA and we really need to consider finding a new home for the Techmo Lucky Breaks league next season. That said, I'm not certain where that new home would be. Need to do some research on other options.

The sutures and bruises are none of my business

So I gotta tell you, I looooooove being ass-raped by oil companies. I drive home Friday morning, passing the gas stations as normal. Note the prices, go home, sleep and drive past them not 10 hours later and the prices are 75 cent more per gallon. Love it. Love the hurricane shit, love the insane profits of oil companies, love my two hours of commuting a day and most of all love that the end isn't in sight.

I was reflecting and it occurred to me that no right-wing conservative Christian asshole preacher has said why God has decided to strike down Texas. I mean, New Orleans, sure. It's a den of inequity with sex, drugs and black people... the horror. But Texas is a fine Republican leaning bastion of proper white values. I mean they hate the ACLU there, they elected George W. Bush governor and the Dallas Cowboys play there, surely they are beloved by Jesus.

But no, he is wroth and has sent a mighty hurricane to decimate them and their unholy ways. You never know who Hurricane Jesus is gonna smite next...

Ok, ok I'll back off all the Christian bashing for a minute. I can't help it, all that hypocritical nonsense makes me angry. Add that anger to the gas prices anger, work stress and general rage and it has to come out. It was this blog or a gun-wielding rampage. I debated it for a while and decided I didn't want to be on tv.

The end of the world as we know it and I feel fine

Today could honestly be the end of the world. No really. I'm not kidding. The reason behind this potential armageddon is the Large Hadron Collider located under the Alps goes into use today. Some posit that this atom smasher could hurl matter around a 17-mile circumference so fast that it could possibly create a black hole, destroying the entire Earth.

Another (remote) possiblity is that it could recreate the "Big Bang." This would set the creation of a whole new universe into motion, ending ours. My big question is would a French or Swiss physicist then become the god of the new universe? I mean not in the all powerful buddy in the sky watching out for all the little children, but in just the creation sense.

So enjoy your Wednesday. It could be your last.

Grumpy motherfucker

So apparently I'm a grumpy fuck. At least according to Adam... ok probably according to a lot of people, but Adam put it forth most recently. What prompted this was the fact that I don't think Tom Brady being injured is the end of the world. Yes, he's a great player. Yes, he's gonna be in the Hall of Fame someday. That doesn't mean we have to ignore everyone else in the league just because he goes out for the season.

Why is this a surprise? Football players get hurt, especially quarterbacks. Brady had been lucky up til this point and now it finally happened. How did Brady get his job? Oh right, it was when Drew Bledsoe got hurt and Brady stepped in to fill the roll. It's the circle of life. Not the end of the world.

Anyway, I lost my opening matchup. I would have tied if I had of started Hasselbeck instead of O'Sullivan. Ahh well, what can you do? I'm still feeling like I'm going to have a good season.

Ohh and let's send a shout out to Adam who injured his shoulder patting himself on the back for having a good opening week.

Going deep

So the first Sunday of NFL football is in the books. I spent the whole day watching football and feeling like crap because of my allergies. Woohoo. On the up side, the mighty Steelers dominated the Texans. Ahh, such joy. I really can't put into words how wonderful it is to watch Pittsburgh pummel opposing players.

The Evil Penguin is still fighting and has a chance to win if I can get some love in tonight's games. It's gonna be a fight, but it's possible.

In non-football related topics, I hate my allergies. I went to bed at 10pm last night because I just felt like shit. I woke up at 7:30am. Illness has turned me into a damned DAY DWELLER! The horror.

I did watch about half the first season of Weeds, which I can't decide if I like or not. I like Mary Louise Parker, she's smoking hot. And some of the other characters are amusing, but the gestalt may not be enough to draw me in completely. I dunno, I'll watch the rest of the first season and see what happens.

I also watched Eagle vs. Shark, which is kind of a New Zealand version of Napoleon Dynamite. The main problem is that the characters are supposed to be out of school and, hence, should be a little less clueless. Or course, that's the joke so it has to be in there. Felt a little forced at times and definitely derivative, but had a couple of nice laughs. Meh. overall.

Where did the cash go?

Had a good day shopping with Trip and I managed to refrain from buying an LCD television once again. I still spent way too much money, but shorts were on sale, so was Deadwood Season 3 and I needed new socks and underwear. Cest la vie, I suppose.

I am beat tho. I've gotten a mere 4 hours of sleep and am feeling the effects. I'm debating a nap, but that never works out to my advantage. So I may just have to be fuckin tired for a while. What else is new.

Ohh and for those of you interested in how mature my friends and I are about fantasy football, click here to see it demonstrated. This link is completely not safe for work, quite juvenile and completely hilarious. This is what happens when Mike has too much free time.

Highly erroneous ratings

So today was the Techmo Lucky Breaks Fantasy Football League draft and The Evil Penguin emerged from nefarious antarctic depths to take part. As such, I now offer my opinion on who navigated the treacherous waters of the TLB draft onto eternal glory and who was pulled down to the murky depths of fantasy ignominy.

This is completely based on my opinion and in no way intended to offend anyone. There is a lot of parity in this league, top to bottom so I'm going purely on which team seems most complete and has players I believe in more than others. Things can change fast in the NFL with an injury here or there and clearly my fallibility is undeniable after my lackluster showing last season. So a grain of salt is called for in this situation. Anyway, on to the rankings.

1. Dallas Danglers - You have no idea how much it pains me to rate the dreaded Danglers first. I really don't want to do it, but in the interest of honesty I must. On paper his team is complete. His big concern would have to be what happens if SJax, Torry Holt and St. Louis in general can't bounce back from so many injuries last season. Also, will Frank Gore shit the bed in Mike Martz's new offense? If those two don't produce do the Danglers will be flaccid at best. Still, a bevy of talent at WR could be enough to penetrate into playoffs.
   
2. The Zors - Another team without any major weaknesses coming out of the draft. Solid RB starters, including one LaDainian Tomlinson and backups with lots of upside. His WR depth could be an issue, but he could make it work with only two and his stable of RBs. Also, I'm not really sold on the Colts's undersized defense staying healthy all season long, but that's nitpicking.
   
3. The Evil Penguin - I debated rating myself first because I do like my draft. The first three rounds went exactly as I hoped, aside from Drew Brees not falling to me. I feel like I did a solid job despite picking 10th overall and came up with a nice mix of dependability and potential. I'm worried that I reached for the Jacksonville D when I should have went with someone else. Also I may regret Larry Johnson, but the value was too good to pass up when I got him. If one of my sleepers wakes up The Evil Penguin may reign in unholy glory.
   
4. Team Vipperman - Nick never has a bad draft and I honestly could have given him the top spot. I debated it, as a matter of fact, but some questions came to mind. Like the durability of Brian Westbrook and Andre Johnson. Also the fact that Laurence Maroney and MJD will have to deal with sharing the ball. Having lived throughthat very thing last season with MJD, watching as Fred Taylor stole the spotlight, I have concerns. That said, who can doubt our inaugural champion will find a way to stay competitive. The Lucky Breaks never seem to fail him.
   
5. St. Nick Kringles - The Kringles draft scares me. That Brady to Welker thing could be huge. Add to it a solid group of proven WRs and Christmas may come early. (Yes I'm aware of how horrible that word play is.) The only coal in the Kringles' stocking is questions about how his RBs will play. Reggie Bush has yet to really break out and while he got real value on Julius Jones, who knows how he'll play in Seattle.
   
6. Leesburg Leghounds - The more I look at the Leghounds' draft, the more I like it. It's an interesting strategy, going for top flight WRs and a stellar QB and then picking up lots of mid-to-lower tier RBs. If those RBs can bring in decent scores each week the Leghounds could be in the hunt once again. That said, there is a lot of risk here and that's why Adam is lodged in the lower half of this ranking.
   
7. Heaven's Own - Had a hard time rating Heaven's Own. He has some players I made a point to avoid, but those guys could pay off. For example, Brandon Jacobs scares me with Ahmad Bradshaw and Derrick Ward both waiting in the wings. I also hate Willis McGahee But that may have as much to do with him being a Raven as anything else. Still, I think Kevin did find some very solid value in those later rounds of the draft, picking up David Garrad, who I think could be a sleeper, and Ricky Williams.
   
8. Who is that guy? - The rookie comes in swinging and leaves with a decent team. Hard to find a lot of fault with his draft. May have reached out for an injured Antonio Gates a little early, but who knows. Gates gets healthy and he looks like a genius. Also having Heath Miller on the bench makes it easier to swallow. His WRs are the main cause for concern. Ocho Cinco is an unknown property this season and how many balls will Patrick Crayton be taking? Couple that with a bunch of meh backups and problems may arise.
   
9. Innsmouth Fish Eyes - The Fish Eyes did a decent job early on, despite reaching for a few players. Then in the later rounds even Greg admitted to wishing he had done a little more research. His final roster didn't turn out too bad, but the presence of Muhsin Muhammad does not assuage my fears any. Still, don't sleep on the Fish Eyes, they have a solid core, with a few potential surprises.
   
10. Hudson Street Hellraisers - Apparently there were some IT difficulties for the defending champs and his draft did not go exactly the way he planned. That said, his running backs don't inspire me much. He liked Adrian Peterson so much he actually drafted him twice! Not much else I can say, hard to rip someone for computer trouble during the draft.

So there it is, my in depth analysis. Hopefully not too controversial. Nobody likes being picked last, I know, but someone has to. I can avoid it by doing the picking, so it works out for me. Of course, there is solace in knowing that this rankings mean absolutely nothing in the end. The only thing that matters is who holds the dreadfully named Lamar Hunt trophy at the end of the season. Good luck to all.

I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve

Here's the moment you've all been waiting for, the unveiling of the new 2008 version of the mighty evilpenguin9000 logo. Copyright infringers will have a pencil jammed into their eye.

Notes from the nerdery

Some quick notes instead of an actual post. Enjoy...

• The Wire, Season 4 continues to deliver the awesome. I really like the character Omar, who is a gay gangster that makes his living by robbing drug dealers. Definitely not your standard effeminate gay man on television.
• Hating my computer and how poorly it handles video, as I find myself wanting to watch more things online lately and they all suffer from bad frame rate and skipping. Sucks.
• Watching this documentary on chiptunes, i.e. music made on 8-bit systems like the NES or old school Gameboy. Interesting sounds that I actually like, despite the fact that I almost never want to listen to the music in a game I'm actually playing.
• Any fast food that describes itself as "cheesy" is completely rancid and should be destroyed on sight.
• Saw Tropic Thunder. It's good, not a must see, but entertaining. In an odd twist I think Tom Cruise's crazy ass was the best part of the movie.
  
• Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 is incredible. Twin stick shootery goodness.
• While I was at the beach I noticed I was less depressed. Whether this was due to actual interaction with friends or actually being in the sun I'm not sure. But I figured that absorbing Vitamin D could have been part of it, so I bought a supplement and have been taking those. I think it's working. While I still have a tendency toward depression, for so many reasons, the mood swings seem to hit with less force and are easier to get over. We'll see if it keeps up.
• Fantasy football is right around the corner with the draft taking place on Tuesday. Planning on hitting Nick's for that. Still feeling a little unsure of my preparedness, but I think that's a result of how bad my draft turned out last year.
• In order to get in the football mood I watched Invincible, the Vince Papale story about the random dude who made the Eagles. Not bad, standard underdog movie, but I'm a sucker for those.
  

That's about it. I'll be unveiling a new 2008 version of the Evil Penguin logo soon, as designed by H.R. Tripenstuff.

excuses and half-truths and fortified wine

Man, returning to work after vacation really sucks ass. Particularly this week, where three preseason football games have to be broadcast. It's just irritating. Plus all the shit that I normally don't worry about is getting on my nerves, just because there is nothing to look forward to for a while. Tonight was especially annoying as the Panthers/Eagles game was delayed by lightning. Grrrr.

Trip and I did have a good time seeing The Hold Steady on Tuesday. Chapel Hill makes me feel old these days, especially as there were a ton of freshmen coming in with there parents that day. Also we sw a scary crack lady that was insanely thin and unclean. I'm not one to rag on the destitute, but damn she was disturbing. We saw some cops clearly prepping to take her in by putting on rubber gloves, which seemed like a good idea for them. Yesh.

Anyway, the show kicked ass. The lead singer, Craig Finn, just does not look like what you expect a band's frontman to look like. He looks like he'd be better suited for working in a cubicle and being picked on by his boss. That said, he does know how to fucking rock a crowd and seems to adore every minute on stage. Gotta love em.

Finally beat FFTA 2, after 145 hours of game play. That's probably inflated, as I watched lots of The Wire while playing and may have been distracted. By the way, finished the third season of the Wire last night, while beating FFTA 2. Great stuff. Only two more seasons to go.

back to the usual

So I'm back from the beach, have been for a coupla days. Just too lazy to post. Had a great time at the beach. Made a concerted effort to stay away from the crap I usually do and actually take a break and enjoy some of the other things life has to offer... like sunlight, conversation and whatnot.

But yeah, great time. Good to see the gang and hang out, drinking many beers. I miss having a bunch of people to hang around on the regular. Managed to never get ridiculously sunburnt, which is a feat. Talked a lot about fantasy football, which is no surprise. I ended up with the dreaded 10th pick in the draft and so am left with the dregs. Ahh well. Anyway, great time at the beach and it sucked to leave.

Did quite a bit of reading at the beach, which was good. I finished Anthony Bourdain's A Cook's Tour. Lots of descriptions of delicious food and weird behavior. I recommend it to anyone who likes travel and eats meat. Also read David Schwartz's Superpowers, which is about college kids with superpowers. Kinda pulpy, but entertaining. Deals more with the real problems superpowers would cause, as opposed to supervillains and whatnot.

But now I have returned home and am having trouble getting back to my nocturnal schedule, which will bite me on the ass when I head back to work tomorrow. Did manage to manhandle Trip at Soul Caliber 4 after spotting him a week of practice. It's brutal how much I own him.

Speaking of Trip, tonight he and I are going to see The Hold Steady in Chapel Hill. Looking forward to that, although I'm not looking forward to the drive. Kinda over car trips at this point.

14 hours and counting

I'm a scant few hours away from the official beginning of my vacation. I can hardly wait. If only I didn't have to suffer through work first all would be better. Anyway, when I don't update this week it's because I'm at the beach. Not like normal where I'm morbidly depressed and/or lazy.

Oddly satisfying

Jello time, bitches. That is all.

My feelings are a cancer

It's 7 a.m. I'm grumpy, tired, lonely. The usual. But at least next week I'll be heading to the beach for some vacation. Some question as to whether or not Greg will be bringing his son along. I think it's safe to assume which way I'm leaning on that question. I don't really care, I'm gonna relax and be obnoxious either way, so whatever. I really need a vacation.

I got a shitload of stuff to do before that trip tho. Car needs an oil change, need to pick up some reasonably priced non-perishables before the trip, gotta pack, need to pay some bills. And I get to work some overtime before the trip, which isn't a bad thing. I can use the cash.

Not much else going on, really. I'm still addicted to FFTA 2. I'm listening to a lot of the new Beck album, Modern Guilt. Dangermouse's production makes it exceptional. The new Girl Talk album, Feed the Animals, is a pure party man. So good. And Stay Positive, The Hold Steady's new one is pretty good as well.

Dork Knight (spoiler free)

So I saw The Dark Knight today, with Corb and Trip. I even got in free since I had to put up with obnoxious chatty types during Hellboy 2. I have to say this movie is special. It's amazing. It's incredible. It's headcavingly orgasmic. I don't throw that rating around a lot to try and keep it special, but this has earned it. The cast is amazing, the story well crafted and it's just marvelous.

I'll start with Heath Ledger because he's done such a good job that I really don't think anyone can ever play the Joker again. I just don't see how they could. He's so wonderfully deranged, with delicious idiosyncrasies and delivers such beautiful lines that I literally giggled with delight. Come on people, do I really have to say more. I'm not a giggler.

Aaron Eckhardt is amazing. He steals some scenes from Christian Bale, who was good, but not great. Eckhardt gets better as the movie goes on. I read an opinion on a forum I frequent that I totally agree with about Maggie Gyllenhal. I'm a fan of hers, she's good, but she's just not glamorous enough for this role.

And, of course, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are excellent. As Corb, Trip and myself discussed the movie and it's potential sequel, we wondered if the next big villain is the Penguin, will Morgan Freeman narrate his rise and fall? I think that would make for an interesting twist.

a test of my will

Pretty much the usual weekend for me. Lots of movies and video games. I did see Nick and Adam this weekend, albeit briefly. I arrived late to their dinner and we conversed for a bit. I was informed that this blog is primarily lots of pissing and moaning, which I can't deny. But, of course, I have to piss and moan about them saying that too.

Trip and I went to see Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, which I found to be wonderful (filet mignon). The story was pretty good, but what made it special was the wonderful creature design of Guillermo Del Toro. I'd describe them as one part Terry Guilliam, one part H.P. Lovecraft and completely amazing. This may have been my favorite movie so far this summer.

I also watched Charlie Bartlett, which was good too. (foot massage) Kind of a modern take on a John Hughes film, which isn't a bad thing. Also Robert Downey Jr. is awesome, as is usual. Finished up season 2 of Deadwood and now am resisting temptation to pick up season 3. I have way too many things I want to spend my money on and way too little money to spread areound.

One thing I did fall into temptation and pick up was this Batman Gotham Knight animated DVD that bridges the gap between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight Returns. Sadly that gap is not that great. Trip and I partook of it and he gave up halfway through and I persevered only because I was playing FFTA 2 while watching. It had a few interesting moments, but all in all it was dull and the animation left me wanting. I heard it compared to The Animatrix, which I had a fondness for and that comparison led me to the purchase, but it is quite dismal. (mudbutt)

After finishing with Batman, Trip and I played some co-op Army of Two, which was fairly fun. Some irritation due to goofy controls, but not too bad. Looking forward to playing more next weekend.

Brain buck shot

Saw Wall-E and it was very good. It was definitely not your average cartoony kids movie. It was a scathing indictment of America's consumer cultur and it's consequences. Also there was a really great love story in there despite the main characters not being able to actually talk much beyond saying their names. I recommend it highly, filet mignon.

I'm still burning my way through The Wire, which is good. I'm into the second season now. The first season seemed to end on a bit of a futility note, with the drug dealers not really paying that much for their crimes and the police bureacracy screwing over a bunch of cops. Probably fairly true to life.

I'm also watching Deadwood again and into the second season of that, as well. It amazes me how fast that show moved. I mean the plot flies by and if you miss something, too bad for you. Which is a good thing, television usually plays to the lowest common denominator and this show assumes it's audience is not moronic.

Still completely addicted to FFTA 2. I'm nearing the 80 hour mark. I realized it's the job system that I love. It's fantastic, making it so your team is well balanced and has a plethora of skills at it's disposal. I think it triggers some semi-autistic part of my brain and I can't get enough.

It's nearing fantasy football time again and I have done no research. I'm clueless. I suppose I shouldn't worry too much, nothing really matters until training camps start and we find out who is actually who. Still I need to put up a better showing that last year's 6-9 season. The Evil Penguin must be on top!

Zero to bastard

I've been on a spending spree lately, that probably needs to stop. I'm buying shit up left and right and spending way too much cash. Last week I bought Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 and it is indeed awesome. These strategy games are not for everyone, but I love the FFT series. It's like pure crack.

Yesterday Trip and I went to Winston-Salem, ostensibly to try this steak restaurant, but I ended up spending a ton of cash. The restaurant, Texas Land and Cattle (not a great name in my book), wasn't bad. It smoked the steak, which gave it a flavor that wasn't really my favorite. But an interesting diversion.

Where I really dropped money was at Best Buy tho. I'd been coveting the Deadwood DVDs for a while now, but they were ridiculously expensive, like $80 for each season. They were on sale for $40 this week and so I decided to get this first two, since it's like two for one. Pricey? Yes, but Deadwood is so worth it.

I also finished watching the Flight of the Conchords on DVD and that is good stuff as well. They are definitely by favorite New Zealand humor folk troupe.