Sunday, May 16, 2004

You say you quote love unquote me

Now listening to: The Magnetic Fields and Sleater-Kinney

I've decided to institute a rating system on this site. I plan on keeping it as incoherent as the rest. It's a seven point system starting at 0 and working up to six. Here is the system and how it works:
6-headcavingly orgasmic. The best ever. Reserved for stuff I use in my personal top five lists, like the Pixies, Frank Herbert's Dune, Fight Club, breasts and so on.

5- filet mignon. Things that are exquistely done and make for time well spent. The Empire Strikes Back, Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time and Mike Doughty fit into this category.

4- +1 chainmail. Good stuff, but not superb or something that was good, but you don't want to see again. Has some flaw that detracts from the overall effect. I'd put Clerks, Jackass and Dostoyevski's The Brothers Karamazov here.

3- Meh. Mediocrity abounds. It's not bad, but it's not good. If it's on I'll watch it, but I would seldom seek it out on my own. Too bland to bother hating. Will and Grace, Taco Bell and most movies with the Rock belong here.

2- Shaq-Fu. Time spent with this you want back. Not bad enough to make you feel betrayed, but not good. Universal Soldier, cheap vodka and Caddyshack 2 fit in here.

1- Mudbutt. It's pretty stinky down here. Rank things to avoid if at all possible. I'd say Silas Marner, Dracula Dead and Loving it and Ray Romano.

0- Torn colon. The most horrible of all things. The people responsible for these vile acts deserve to suffer. Hideous examples are the Holocaust, Achy Breaky Heart and willful ignorance.

That about sums it up. You'll note the list on the left, complete with illustrating links. Hope this will help to clarify my thoughts on some things. If not, at least I found it moderately entertaining.

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